30 Days of Axel and Roxas
by RunXRun
Summary: This is for the 30 day OTP challenge, so there will be 30 stories here, each different. It's rated "M" because some of the chapters will contain sexual content. Enjoy.
1. Take my hand

They had always sat beside each other, it was how things went. When they were babies their mothers would sit their baby carriers beside each other, when they were toddler's they would sit side by side in the sandbox and play together. Their first day of school they were arranged to sit side by side, and that arrangement lasted until high school, but even then their lockers were side by side and they spent their lunch breaks side by side.

They were always together. So much so that their friends had formed a nickname for the duo; Akuroku. Neither Axel nor Roxas minded it. They were best friends and nothing was going to change that. Not their friends poking fun at them, not their dads, not their teachers. No one.

They were in college now, and they not only sat beside each other, but they lived together. That's when sitting together stopped being so innocent. It was their first break they had and neither of them went home. They both decided that they'd spend their Christmas break in their apartment with each other. They had strung popcorn together, watched "Home Alone" about a dozen times, went and got hot chocolate, and Roxas even made Axel try eggnog. It was nice. Two best friends just enjoying each other's company, sitting side by side, like usual, watching the Grinch steal Christmas.

Yep, just two best friends and one dark secret. A secret that could potentially ruin their wonderful friendship. Of course that secret was that Axel felt for Roxas in a not so innocent kind of way. It had started a little before Axel hit 14. He had noticed the way Roxas's eyes sparkled, or how he'd turn his head away when he was embarrassed. He'd notice that when their knees touched he'd get a tingle sent through his body that tended to stay around his groin. Axel had first brushed these feelings off, saying that they were a part of puberty and not because he fancied his best friend. Plus, if he fancied his best friend that would mean he liked men, and wouldn't that mean he was gay? No. Axel was not gay, he liked women and boobs and vagina.

When Axel was 17 he had come to terms with the fact that he not only loved Roxas in an intimate way, but he also loved men. Coming to terms and coming out are two different things, and Axel had kept his sexuality hidden from everyone. Well, everyone except Larxene. Larxene was another one of Axel's friends. If you weren't counting Roxas, she would be his best friend. And, to a lot of people, Larxene was Axel's girlfriend. Both Larxene and Axel's parents were growing suspicious that neither of them had a partner, and they both weren't ready to come out so they had decided to say they were together. Kissing each other came naturally to both of them because they were so close so the illusion that they were together worked perfectly.

Axel was now 23 and it had become a lot harder to stay "in the closet," and it had started to hurt too. He was living one big lie that hurt all parts of his life. He couldn't go out and try to get over Roxas because that was too risky, and he couldn't tell his parents the truth because it would break their heart. Axel wasn't sure why the term was "In the closet," Axel thought it felt more like "In Hell".

**"Ax, you watching the movie or what?"  
**Axel blinked and look at Roxas and then the TV, which was playing another Christmas movie.  
_**"Uh ... yeah, sorry. What's it called?"  
**_**"Snow Day ..."  
**_**"Cool."  
**_Axel shifted beside Roxas and stared at the TV, trying to get himself into the story and away from his thoughts. It was Christmas Eve and they both decided to stay up until midnight to give each other one present. Axel was painfully aware of Roxas's knee pressed against his, and the way he was sipping at his hot chocolate ... how it would stay on his lips and he'd dart his tongue out to lick away the chocolate ... Axel took a deep breath and shut his eyes, thinking about everything he could to stop the blood flow heading south.

**"You okay?"  
**_**"Yeah."  
**_**"You sure?"  
**_**"Yeah."  
**_Axel had gotten used to say yes when someone asked if he was okay. It had become a natural reaction, and a reaction Axel wasn't pleased he had formed. Glancing at the clock, Axel shook his head and willed time to go faster. There was no way he could last another thirty minutes. Putting his hand between his knee and Roxas's, Axel felt relief wash over him as their bodies stopped touching. Feeling more comfortable, Axel finally started to pay attention to the movie and not the warm body beside him.

Axel had lost himself in the movie and never felt Roxas shift, but he did feel Roxas's soft hand take his own. Blinking, Axel looked towards Roxas with his eyebrow raised.  
_**"What are you doing?"  
**_**"Holding your hand."  
**_**"What for?"  
**_**"Wanted to check something."  
**_**"What?"  
**_Axel tried to bury the feeling his stomach was making and swallow the lump that had formed in his throat, but all his focus was on Roxas, and Roxas's hand holding his own.  
**"People have said you liked me..."  
**_**"Of course I like you, Rox, you're my bes-"  
**_**"Love me, Ax. More than friends."  
**_**"Oh."  
**_**"Oh?"  
**_**"Did Larxene tell you...?"**_

When Roxas didn't answer, Axel felt his whole body become tense as he looked into his best friend's eyes, wide with surprise.  
**"I lied."  
**_**"About?"  
**_**"No one told me that you liked me.  
**_**"Uh?"  
**_**"I saw a shooting star yesterday and wished that you'd like me ... I thought this would be a good way to prove that wishes don't come true..."  
**_**"Uh?"  
**_Axel stared at Roxas, not really following what he was saying. Did Roxas like him? Was that even possible? Didn't that only happen in movies?

_**"So ... you like me? Like, like-like me?"  
**_**"Yeah. Do you hate me?"  
**_**"No ... I like-like you too."  
**_**"Yeah?"  
**_**"Yeah."  
**_Axel squeezed Roxas's hand and smiled at him, feeling a huge weight being lifted off his shoulders. It was all so fairy taleish and hard to believe that it could happen in real life let alone to him. But it did, and as the clock stuck midnight, Roxas grinned at his new boyfriend and gave his hand another squeeze.  
**"Merry Christmas, Ax."  
**_**"Merry Christmas, Rox."**_


	2. It's cold

Their apartment was located on the bad side of town and it didn't have any running water or heat. Their fridge barely had any food in it and someone with a lot of money would have said they had nothing in it, but a little was still some.

Roxas had just gotten home from his class and he frowned as he opened the door, feeling the cold air assault his face. It was winter and the apartment seemed to be colder than outside; perhaps it was because a home represented comfort and warmth, and this home held neither.

Shivering, Roxas put his bag down and curled up on Axel and his pull-out bed, making sure all the sheets and blankets were wrapped tightly around himself, ignoring the sounds his stomach was making.  
"I hope Axel is able to sneak something from work ..."

Curling up, Roxas smiled at the thought of his long time boyfriend, Axel. He worked in a run down cafe not far from their apartment and would always try and sneak some food home for the two of them. Roxas felt reality slip away as sleep took over.

* * *

"Roxas? You home yet?"  
Roxas opened his eyes to the sight of his boyfriends spikey red hair peeking into the living room.  
"Here you are ... you alright ...?"  
Axel frowned as he moved to sit beside his shivering boyfriend.  
"Yeah, just cold."  
Axel nodded in understanding, their apartment was very cold that evening, Axel would have guessed it to be -3.  
"Yeah, I know, Rox."

Taking his coat off, which was now soaked from the rain that had started not five minutes before he got off work, Axel climbed onto the bed beside Roxas and wrapped his arms around the small, shaking bundle.  
"Will things get better, Axel?"  
"Truth or lie?"  
"Truth first."  
"I don't know if they will get better."  
Axel felt Roxas nod, already knowing he didn't want the lie anymore.  
"But if things don't get better, Rox, I'll love you just the same, and I'd understand if you went to live with someone else ... You don't deserve this shit."  
Axel tightened his grip around his boyfriend, meaning every word he had just said.  
"You don't deserve this either. And, I won't leave. It's cold now, but I have hope and we'll be okay. Plus, I'm with you, and I love you too much to let a cold apartment get in the way."

Looking down, Axel smiled at his boyfriend, still amazed at his hope and spirit.  
"I brought home fries and a sandwich."  
"Yum, what kind of sandwich?"  
"Not sure, probably tuna."  
"Awesome."

Roxas turned in Axel's arms and looked into his eyes, smiling at the love that reflected back. They had lost everything when they came out; their friends, their parents, their home ... But they hadn't lost each other and that was good enough for them.  
"Get naked."  
Axel blinked, shocked at his boyfriends sudden demand.  
"Uh ... Naked? Rox, I love you, but is now the right time? I mean, I doubt I have the energy to even ge-"  
"I've heard that it's warmer if you're naked."  
Shrugging, Axel decided that his boyfriend probably knew best.

Standing up from the bed, Axel removed his long sleeve shirt and under shirt hesitantly, not enjoying the cold that seemed to hug his naked skin as soon as it appeared.  
"Oh, Ax ..."  
Roxas frowned as he took in the sight of Axel's body.  
"You're so thin, babe ..."

Axel stopped with his hands on his jeans button, shifting slightly and becoming increasingly self-conscious.  
"I've always been thin ..."  
Axel wasn't sure why whether or not Roxas was still attracted to him was a main priority, but he had felt his body tense at the look Roxas had given him; a look Axel could only describe as disgust.

Roxas tilted his head, not sure why Axel was reacting the way he was, the only time he had seen these actions were ...  
"Oh. Oh! No! I didn't mean it like that, Ax! You're still beautiful, I'm just worried about you."  
Axel felt his body relax as Roxas made himself clear, feeling stupid for ever doubting Roxas' attraction to him.

Removing the last layer of clothing, Axel looked at his bundle and smiled.  
"You going to get naked too, and maybe invite me into your cocoon?"  
Axel watched as Roxas' face lit up with a huge smile.  
"I'm one step ahead of you, babe."  
Roxas unwrapped himself from his small furnace and pulled back the covers, exposing himself to both Axel and the cold. Axel let out a soft laugh as he crawled onto the couch with Roxas, nudging Roxas' clothing to the bottom, making a small hut for their feet.

"You're something else, you know that, right?"  
"I know."  
Axel wrapped his arms around Roxas again, smiling as their body heat mixed and made their cocoon comfortably warm.  
"You know, I could be at someone else's house right now, in a soft, warm bed watching cartoons or a movie, and you know what?"  
Axel bit his lip and looked into Roxas' eyes.  
"No, what?"  
"There is no place I'd rather be than here with you."  
Feeling his chest tighten, Axel leaned closer and placed a kiss on his boyfriend's lips.  
"Have I made you speechless?"  
"Not possible. Got it memorized?"  
Roxas snorted and rolled his eyes. Wrapping his arms around Axel and cuddling him closer, Roxas smiled as he felt Axel return the actions.

Their apartment was small, they had no running water or heat, barely any food in the fridge, and it was the middle of winter. But what they did have was love and hope and the most important thing they had was each other and that was enough for both of them.

* * *

AN: -3C is 26F.


	3. Monsters and Chips

"Oh come on! It's not that scary!"  
"You and I have very different views on what's scary, babe. A giant half-naked man with a pyramid for a head AND a giant ass knife? Scary!"  
"But you barely see him!"  
"Axel, why the hell do you want me to play Silent Hill so bad?"  
Roxas turned to look at his boyfriend, who was hanging off the side of their recliner, making his red hair stand up even more.  
"Because it's amazing?!"  
"Is it amazing because you're a psychology student and you practically live for "mind fucks"?"  
Axel clicked his tongue in thought, finally shaking his head.  
"That might be a part of why I like it, but not the full reason. But you'll like it for a different reason."  
"How do you know I'll like it?"  
"Because you enjoy being scared."  
"I do not!"  
"So that's why you don't look up ghost stories super late at night, yeah?"

Roxas felt the blush creep onto his face, feeling as if his boyfriend had discovered his hidden porn stash instead of his secret love of terrifying himself. Axel laughed and shook his head, pointing that their coffee table. The table had Silent Hill one through three, and all the other's that came after.  
"What's your favourite one?"  
"No! Nu-uh! You have to play them in order."  
Turning right side up, Axel got off the chair and went over to his boyfriend, who had picked up Silent Hill one and was now looking at the back with a very suspicious.  
"Playstation ONE?! The graphics are going to be so shit!"  
"It'll add to the atmosphere. Don't be a graphics snob, love."  
With that, Axel leaned down and kissed Roxas on the cheek, picking his bag up in the process.

"Good thing you have all March break to play these, eh? Don't worry, after today I won't have to go back to the library for the entire break."  
"Why did you have to go today again?"  
"Forgot my book."  
"Smooth."  
"Love you."  
"Love you too, Red."

Roxas shook his head and turned on the play station one, which was already hooked up and ready to go. Placing the disc inside and grabbing the controller, Roxas leaned back and watched the starting scene and smiled.  
"This isn't so bad."

* * *

"Honey, I'm home!"  
Axel entered their apartment and paused to listen for any sounds of Silent Hill or his boyfriend. Not hearing anything, he toed his shoes off and walked into the living room, dropping his bag on the way. Axel smirked as he noticed the television was on the Silent Hill two inventory screen.  
"Knew he'd play them all."

Axel turned and walked towards the kitchen, knowing Roxas had probably went to the store to pick up a snack or a sea salt ice-cream.  
"BOO!"  
Axel screamed as Roxas leapt out from the kitchen at him. Gripping where his heart would be, Axel stared bewildered at his boyfriend.  
"Dammit, Rox! You nearly gave me a heart attack!"  
Roxas laughed and wrapped his arms around Axel's waist, pleased with himself.  
"You're cute when you're scared."  
Snickering again, he watched as Axel muttered under his breath and went into the kitchen.

"I like Silent Hill."  
"Like?"  
"Love."  
"Aha! Told you. Oh! Does this mean I have someone to talk to about it and and complain and ..."  
"The word you're looking for is fangirl, and is that one of the reasons you wanted me to play?"  
Axel batted his eyelashes over his glass of water.  
"I have no idea what you're talking about."  
"Uh-huh, sure. In any event; yes. You have someone to fangirl with. But you could have done it without me knowing anything about the game."  
Roxas smiled and left the kitchen, seeing Axel dance in the mirror, but deciding not to comment on it.

Sitting back on the couch, Roxas picked up the controller again and unpaused, shivering at the red glow around a certain pyramid-headed creature.  
"Can he get me ...?"  
"BlahAhh?!"  
Roxas screamed and jumped, tightening his grip on the controller and making James punch the air.  
"Axel! Dammit!"  
It was Axel's turn to laugh. Laughing and sitting beside Roxas, he sipped his water and offered his bag of potato chips to Roxas.  
"Truce?"  
"Truce."  
Roxas smiled as Axel picked up a chip and fed it to him, not wanting to get grease on the controller.

"So, you playing?"  
"Yeah, you watching?"  
"Mhm ... Oh! Wait a sec."  
Standing up, Axel walked over to the lights and flicked them off.  
"What are you doing?"  
"Creating the mood, obviously."  
Making his way back to the couch without bashing his knee against anything was a great success, and sitting beside Roxas was great too.  
"Okay, ready?"  
"Of course."

Axel put his arm around Roxas' shoulders and smiled, glad to have made someone else a fan of the series and being able to see the reactions it caused. He loved sitting here and playing, or watching Roxas play video games. The faces and sounds he made were the cutest things Axel had ever heard.  
"Pay a little more attention to the game and a little less attention to me, babe."  
Roxas smiled and turned his focus back onto the game, making James go into another room.


	4. Coffee and Pizza

Everyone has that one person. This person will walk into your life, your heart, and make themselves comfortable. They will make sure you know that they have no plan on leaving your heart any time soon, and that you had better get used to it because you and them? It's for life.

At the time you won't know that they will end up owning a nice property in your heart, but you will know that there's something different about them. A spark when you first introduce yourself maybe. It'll happen and you won't even realize it. One minute you will know this person's name and five years later you could answer every question about them.

Axel was Roxas' special person.

* * *

Roxas sat in the coffee shop, hunched over his laptop trying to figure out how he was supposed to finish all his homework by tomorrow. He promised himself he wouldn't procrastinate and do it last minute after today, but he knew that wasn't a promise he'd keep.

He knew he had been in the coffee shop for five hours, typing and looking at his notes and ignoring everything around him. Well, everything except his order. Roxas had gone through two coffees, five hot chocolates, an apple juice and a raspberry tart since he had entered the shop, and all of them had been brought to him by a very cute, tall redhead with the name tag of "Axel".

If Roxas was honest with himself, he'd have admitted that he was at the coffee shop for five hours and thirty minutes, but the thirty minutes was dedicated to watching the redhead work and smile. Roxas had stopped staring when Axel had made eye contact and smiled and had been incredibly embarrassed that he had been caught staring, so those thirty minutes didn't exist anymore.

Roxas would still sneak a glance at Axel from time to time, though. Which is what he was doing now. Roxas was mesmerized by Axel's movements and how even the simplest tasks seemed graceful. He wasn't sure if it was because it was a part of Axel's job or because he was that kind of warm person, but the way he spoke to the customers sounded genuine, like Axel really wished the person who just ordered a hazelnut coffee would have a wonderful day.

Emptying his bottle of apple juice, Roxas scanned the menu to see what else he could have. He figured he might as well have one of those pre-made salads seeing as he had missed lunch and it was getting to be three in the afternoon. Standing up from his spot, Roxas walked to the counter, which was a convenient four steps away, and waited for the man in front to finish his order.

"Hello, welcome to Be- Oh, hey. Another apple juice?"  
"Nah, not this time. A chicken Cesar salad and ... hm ... a diet coke, please."  
"Sure thing."  
Roxas felt his stomach flutter as Axel reached up to get the salad, his top rising slightly and exposing his lower back.  
"I like your tattoo."  
"Huh? Oh, thank you."  
Roxas didn't say much after that in fear of it coming out an octave higher than normal. He thanked Axel, paid and went back to his laptop as quick as possible, trying to get the image of Axel's back out of his mind and trying to permanently burn it into his memory at the same time.

Opening the salad, Roxas realized that in his rush to get away from Axel, he had forgotten a fork. Muttering about how it would probably look odd if he was sat here eating a salad with his fingers, Roxas pushed his chair back and moved to get up, stopping only to take in the sight of a fork right beside him. A fork that was attached to long fingers, very nice arms, a slender neck and ...  
"You forgot this."  
"Ehe ... Thank you."  
Roxas decided that second that he hated his nervous "you give me butterflies" laugh.  
"It's not a problem ... Are you busy?"  
Axel glanced at the laptop and back at Roxas, waiting to be dismissed.  
"No ... I was going to eat a late lunch, why?"  
"I'm on break," Axel held up his coffee cup and smiled, "And I thought maybe I'd join you?"

Feeling his heart beat quicken to what Roxas was sure to be an unsafe pace, he nodded and shut his laptop, making sure that he would be able to see Axel perfectly.  
"Thank you"  
Taking the seat across from Roxas, he smiled and hoped his eyes wouldn't give off the amusement he felt. The little blond was adorable.  
"So, what are you studying?"  
"Am I what study ... sorry. I'm studying to be a veterinarian. Are you in school or ...?"  
"Yeah, I'm studying to become a journalist, but my major is English. So, a vet, have you always wanted to do that?"  
"For as long as I can remember, yeah. I used to put bandages on my stuffed animals until they were better."  
Roxas grinned as Axel laughed, feeling incredibly comfortable around him.  
"That's really cute, uhm ...?"  
"Roxas."  
"That's really cute, Roxas."

Roxas knew that he wasn't the easiest person to talk to. He didn't have many friends growing up and the customs of communication had gotten lost for a number of years. He was twenty one now and had just started picking them up again, but somehow talking to Axel was easy. It was like they had known each other all their lives, like they were best friends.

They had talked about school and work during Axel's break, but fifteen minutes isn't a long time and before either of them knew it, he had to get back to work.  
"You'll be coming in the shop a lot more now, right? Now that you've moved to a new place?"  
"Yeah, I will be."  
"Alright, cool."  
"But maybe we can hang out during the weekend, maybe when you're not working? There's a movie that just came out, Cloverfield, maybe we can go see it? Maybe on Saturday and around one, if you're free ...?"  
Roxas suddenly noticed how dry his mouth had become after asking Axel to see a movie with him. He never asks people to hang out with him.  
"That's the new horror movie, yeah? Sure, I'd love to."  
"Cool, it's a date."  
Roxas wondered how it was possible for his mouth to get any drier. Where did this new found courage come from? Making this hang out a date, without even seeing if Axel was single ... he didn't even know if Axel liked men! Roxas groaned and shook his head.  
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't assume that you're interested in guys ... And, I definitely shouldn't assume you're single, I mean come on, you're really nice and attractive and ..."  
"Gay and single."  
"And gay and sin-what?"  
"You assumed right. Anyway, I have to get back to work and I don't think your work is going to write itself. So, we have a date on Saturday at one?"  
"Yeah."  
"Awesome."  
Roxas wondered how he could get so lucky.

Neither of them had time to really talk after that. The coffee shop ended up getting a steady flow of customers that didn't stop until nine that night, and Roxas got so focused on his work that he didn't even know it was closing time until Axel cleared his throat and looked around the room, making Roxas look around and notice all the chairs on the tables. Glancing at his laptop clock, Roxas gasped as it changed to 9:47 p.m.  
"Wow! Sorry, I must be holding you back from going home."  
"It's no problem. I noticed you were in the middle of your work and know how frustrating it can be when someone makes you stop."  
Nodding, Roxas packed his binders and laptop back into his bag and smiled.  
"I'll see you on Saturday, Axel."  
"I'll see you on Saturday too, Roxas."

Roxas left the coffee shop feeling something he had never felt before. He had almost finished all his homework and had met someone amazing all in one day. Of course his homework wasn't all done so he'd have to go home and try to focus on finishing the last few paragraphs of it off without thinking about a certain red-headed male, but Roxas promised himself he'd do it ... another promise he knew he'd break.

* * *

Saturday came both soon and not soon enough. Roxas had been awake since seven in the morning, making sure his hair was perfect and his outfit was flattering. A pair of jeans that apparently made his legs look killer and his ass look fantastic (according to the sales lady ...) and a Pac-Man t-shirt couldn't go wrong. Roxas had changed his t-shirt ten times before he actually settled on what to wear, and by the time everything was settled and he knew his choice was final, it was 12:42.  
"Oh, no! I'm going to be late!"

Roxas had spent more than ten minutes styling his hair and making it perfect ... And it took the wind five minutes to mess it up, and the fact that he was now running to the coffee shop didn't help his hair at all. Getting to the Bean Machine at exactly 12:55 felt like a record, and Roxas was proud of himself until he caught his reflection in the mirror.

"It won't stay down!"  
"I know that feeling."  
Turning, Roxas felt a sense of ... well, Roxas wasn't sure what he felt, but it was different and welcomed.  
"Your hair looks really cute, Roxas, don't worry about it."  
Nodding was just about the only thing Roxas could do that the moment. Axel was wearing jeans that Roxas would normally hate. The jeans that had holes in the knees and were all faded ... the ones that should have been thrown out or turned into shorts a long time ago, but somehow they fit with Axel, and so did his Rise Against t-shirt, although Roxas had no problem with Rise Against and even liked them, so really the fact that Axel liked them too was a bonus.  
"You look ... you know ... great."  
"Aw, well thank you. So do you."  
"Thank you, I just put on whatever."  
"Really? I was up at eight trying to find a top that didn't make me look stupid."  
"... I was up at seven."

Smiling, Axel looked Roxas up and down and nodded.  
"You look really cute. So, what time does the movie start?"  
"At 1:15 ... what time is it now?"  
"1:02"  
"We should probably go then, yeah?"  
"Yeah."

Walking to the movies didn't take long at all, three minutes exactly. Standing in line, Axel and Roxas both took their wallets out and looked at each other.  
"I asked you on the date, so I'm paying."  
"Is that the logic people go with now?"  
"... I'm not sure, actually."  
"Rock, paper, scissors?"  
"Seriously?"  
"Seriously."  
"Fine."  
Both of them picked rock the first time, but Axel picked paper the next, successfully covering Roxas' rock. Axel paid for the tickets with a look of pride on his face, not sure if he was glad that he got to pay or that he got to touch Roxas' hand.  
"You paid for tickets, I pay for popcorn and drinks ... what do you drink?"  
"Water is fine."  
"Water it is ... Hey, do you like Smarties?"  
"Yeah, why?"  
"Because "water" is free."  
Roxas was already heading towards the line before Axel could say anything.

Finding a seat, Roxas and Axel both sat down and wondered if they were able to put their arms around each other or hold hands. It was odd, both of them felt like they had been actually dating for years, but this was their first date so that obviously wasn't possible.  
"I forgot to ask, do you even like horror movies?"  
"I love them, do you?"  
"Same. ...Do you get scared easily?"  
Roxas figured he'd try a sneaky way of asking Axel if he'd like to be held.  
"I ...don'...do. I do, yes."  
"I'll protect you."  
"I'll pay you in Smarties."  
Turning their attention back to the screen, Axel and Roxas watched the lights dim and started watching the previews for upcoming movies, whispering their opinions to each other and snickering as they heard an old man say that people need to leave the classics alone.

"So ... what did you think?"  
"It was ... you know ... yeah."  
"You know what my favorite part was?"  
"Mm, the part where I grabbed your hand?"  
"How did you know?"  
"That was my favorite part too."  
Roxas smiled, glad that Axel was able to pick up on his corny nature.  
"That was really cheesy, I'm sorry."  
"Nah, it's cute, Rox ...But speaking of cheese, want to get a pizza?"  
"Rox?"  
"Nickname. Unless you'd rather me go with as-"  
"I like Rox, I've just never been called that before. A pizza would be awesome."

Roxas found out in the pizza shop that Axel only ate fish and chicken and no other meats, while Axel found out that Roxas liked the meat lovers pizza. Both of them got individual slices, and Roxas couldn't help but make a joke about how plain Axel's pizza was.  
"It is pretty plain, yes, but it's delicious."  
"... Does me eating this ruin my chances of getting a kiss good-bye?"  
"Nah."  
"Oh, so I am getting a kiss good-bye?"  
"I wouldn't say good-bye ... it sounds like you have plans to never see me again."  
"That's true. A kiss good..hm," Looking at the clock, Roxas smiled and looked back at Axel, "A kiss good evening."  
"I like that better."

Eating their pizza, they spoke about things they didn't get to in the coffee shop. Their favourite TV shows and movies, if they've traveled and where they want to go. They sat in the pizza shop for three hours talking and ordering water, pop and the occasional garlic bread so they wouldn't get kicked out. This time they split the bill.

"So, do I have the pleasure of walking you home?"  
"You can walk me to my bus stop?"  
"Good."  
As they walked, their hands linked together without either of them attempting to make it happen. Standing at the bus stop, Axel gave Roxas his number, and Roxas sent him a smile text so Axel could have his number.

Seeing his bus coming, Axel leaned down and kissed Roxas' lips, confirming that they would be as soft as they looked. Both of them felt the small jolt the kiss gave them. Pulling back, Axel reached into his pockets and brought out the Smarties.  
"What are you doing?"  
Glad that he and Roxas had shared them at the movies, Axel took Roxas' hand and poured the last Smartie out onto it.  
"It's the last Smartie."  
"Aw! It's shaped like a heart!"  
"I know."  
Axel didn't give Roxas time to respond before he got on his bus and went to take his seat. Smiling, Axel waved to Roxas and pointed to his cell phone.  
"Is it too early to say I had a great time?"

Roxas grinned down at his phone, feeling something almost move in his chest. It was like someone had moved some of Roxas' worries to make room for this new feeling. That of course was Axel moving into his heart.

* * *

"Rox ... you okay? You've been staring at me for like, ten minutes ..."  
"I was just thinking about our first date."  
"Five years tomorrow."  
Roxas leaned over on the couch and kissed his boyfriend's cheek.  
"Want to see a movie and get a pizza after?"


	5. Kiss away the pain

No one knew by looking at him at Axel had body issues. The only person who did know was his boyfriend, Roxas, and that was only because they lived together and sometimes Axel's fears creep out while their intimate, or about to become intimate. He had tried to hide his poor self-image from Roxas in case Roxas agreed with him, but everyone has their moments of defeat and Axel could only use the "I can't take my shirt off at the beach, I'll burn!" excuse during the daytime.

He had his good days though, days where he'd look in the mirror after he was ready for work and think "Hey, I don't look ugly today," and the rest of the day he'd feel pretty good about himself. Some days Roxas would compliment him and he'd feel on top of the world too, and Axel always loved those days where he'd wake up and just feel good without even having to look in the mirror because it helped him believe that being beautiful doesn't make you happy.

Today wasn't a good day, though. The minute Axel opened his eyes he knew that today would be an awful day. Stepping in the shower, he looked down and shuddered at the disgusting body he saw; chest too thin, stomach somehow too big, legs too long, penis too ... well, it was a penis so it was just ugly. Sighing, Axel washed himself and made sure his nails dug into the especially ugly places, hoping that his nails were sharp enough to get rid of some of the fat off his stomach, or become a distraction from his painfully skinny chest.

Stepping out of the shower, Axel wrapped a towel around his waist and kept his head down, trying to avoid the bathroom mirror. Feeling the pressure start to build in his chest, he gave up and looked at his reflection. Eyes have dark circles around them, mouth is too thin, eyebrows too wide, tattoo's fading, hair too dark. He stared into his reflection's eyes, hoping the mirror would change, hoping that the mirror would some how make him beautiful. He never noticed Roxas look in, frown, and walk out.

Getting dressed was painful too, all his clothes were too small even though the proof suggested that they fit perfectly. But Axel thought he gained, and in his mind the clothes he was putting on made his stomach look horrible and his thighs look like tree trunks. Walking to work, Axel was sure people were laughing at him, and while he was at work he was sure people were talking about him.

That wasn't all that went wrong, of course. Faxes didn't come in, people didn't pick up their phones when it was important, there was an emergency meeting that everyone seemed to be prepared for except Axel. He had spilt coffee on his black work pants, had got his finger caught in his desk drawer, his computer had blue screened twice and on top of all of that he was late getting important document to the right people and he was sure they were going to be pissed. Looking outside, Axel wondered how this day could get any worse ... And then it started to rain.

Walking home, Axel wasn't sure if he was happy with his choice not to bring his jacket or pissed off at it. It would be less wet clothing to take off, but the rain mixed with the wind made it cold outside, regardless of springs lovely temperature. He had only been splashed twice on his walk home.

Opening the front door to their apartment, Axel looked down at the mat and noticed Roxas' shoes weren't there. Glad that one thing seemed to be going right, Axel took his shoes off and walked into their bedroom. Removing his socks, he glanced around the room and sniffed, trying to place the smell ... flowers, he thought, maybe ... or was it fruity? Shrugging, Axel removed his tie, button-up and black work pants. Taking another sniff, he tried to place the smell, but still couldn't do it. It was fruity though, not flowery.

Taking off his boxer briefs, Axel walked over to the closet and opened the doors, grabbing a towel to dry his hair off. Turning, Axel gasped as Roxas stood grinning from the bedroom door.  
"It's tropical punch."  
"What is?"  
"The scent. Tropical punch. I remember you saying you loved the smell of it."  
Nodding, Axel moved the towel lower, trying to figure out which parts of his body he wanted covered the most.

Before he could cover anything, Roxas was standing in front of him and had his arms around Axel's waist, pulling him close against his own body.  
"What are you doing, Rox?"  
"I was in the bathroom this morning ..."  
"You're usually in the bathroom in the morning."  
"I was in there when you were."  
"I didn't see you?"  
"I was in the doorway when you were looking in the mirror."  
Axel blinked down at his boyfriend and frowned. He knew that Roxas disliked when he felt this bad about himself and it usually caused some type of argument, one that neither of them meant to start.  
"Look, I've had a bad day and I'd really prefer not to talk about this."

Shaking his head, Roxas looked up at Axel and kissed his chest.  
"Will you lie down if I ask you to?"  
"No ..."  
Sighing, Roxas nodded and stepped back from Axel, giving him a small, sad smile before exiting the bedroom.  
"I'm making chicken stir-fry tonight ... And you're eating some."  
Axel shut his mouth, ready to tell Roxas he wasn't hungry.

* * *

Their night went uneventful, but as it got later and later, Axel's mood lifted. He and Roxas ate dinner; which was excellent, they didn't fight and now they were watching Wipe Out. The day Axel had was already forgotten, but the feeling was still there. Roxas had spent a good deal of time running his hands through Axel's hair and hoping that his plan would help Axel, or at least start to help him.

Axel had fallen asleep with his head in Roxas' lap and Roxas didn't wake him up until 9:00 p.m.  
"Ax, wake up, time for bed."  
Muttering, Axel opened his eyes and glanced up, nodding to signal that he understood what Roxas had just said. Standing up, Axel and Roxas walked into the bedroom and prepared to sleep.

Undressing made Axel's mood resurface, and the fact that Roxas was in the room, seemingly watching him, made it a lot worse. Finally, completely naked, Axel reached for the bottoms he had laid out and blinked when Roxas stopped his hand.  
"Roxas?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Can you let go of my hand?"  
Roxas shifted under his boyfriend's gaze but didn't let go of his hand. Wrapping his other arm around Axel's waist, Roxas looked up at him and smiled.  
"... What?"  
"You're really beautiful."  
"I told you I didn't want to do this tonight, Roxas."

Roxas tightened his grip on his boyfriend and buried his face against his chest.  
"I would give anything for you to see what I see, Axel."  
"I know you would."  
"Can I show you?"  
"Show me?"  
"Yeah."  
Axel looked away from Roxas' puppy dog eyes and frowned, confused about what Roxas meant by show him.  
"How?"  
"You'll see."  
Looking back down, Axel nodded and released the grip he had unknowingly had on Roxas' arms.  
"Thank you."

Making Axel get on the bed and relax was easy, but Roxas could tell his boyfriend hated the situation.  
"Why are you shaking?"  
The glare Axel sent Roxas could have melted an iceberg.  
"Why do you think I'm shaking?"  
Kneeling beside Axel's side, Roxas shook his head.  
"I know why, but I don't know why."  
He wasn't sure if he made sense, but it made Axel take his glare away.  
"Will you please just get whatever it is you have planned over with?"  
Nodding, Roxas got to the end of the bed and looked up at Axel, smiling to try and reassure him everything was okay.

"I love how you always seem to have nice feet; the skin isn't cracked or anything."  
Picking Axel's foot up, Roxas placed a kiss to the arch in it.  
"Eh?!"  
Axel blinked and leaned up on his elbows, staring-wide eyed at Roxas. Roxas ignored Axel's reaction and kept going.  
"I love your legs and how they're so long. Your legs are just amazing."  
Kissing up to Axel's thigh, Roxas retreated and did the same to the other leg, finally kissing Axel's thighs. Grinning, Roxas winked up at Axel.  
"I love your penis because ... well, we both know why I love that part of you."  
Roxas smiled as he placed kisses all along Axel's soft member. Pausing slightly, Roxas thought for a moment before making Axel turn his bottom half to the side.  
"I love your ass because of how great it is, especially when you're wearing tight jeans that hug your ass and legs."  
Kissing Axel's ass and making sure to kiss his hole, Roxas smiled at the gasp he recieved in return. Making Axel return to normal, Roxas grinned up at his boyfriend, who was now biting his finger and blushing so hard that his cheeks matched his hair.  
"I love your waist because it makes you fit perfectly in my arms."  
Kissing Axel's waist, Roxas glanced up at his boyfriend, knowing he was about to reach a spot Axel was terrified of.  
"And I love your stomach, no matter what you think of it. It's not big at all, and it's sad that you see it that way."  
Roxas made sure to kiss a heart onto Axel's stomach.  
"I love your chest because it always welcomes my head."  
Placing more kisses on Axel's chest, Roxas paused and skipped over one of the most important parts of Axel's body.

"I love your shoulders because of how delicate they look."  
Kissing down Axel's shoulders, Roxas shut his eyes and let himself get lost.  
"I love your arms and how they always make me feel safe, no matter what's happening."  
"I love your hands and fingers because they fit perfectly with mine."  
Moving onto the other side, Roxas kissed his way up until he got to Axel's face.  
"I love your nose because of how cute it is."  
Kissing the tip of Axel's nose made Roxas grin wider.  
"I love your tattoos because they're so ... you."  
Kissing each tattoo, Roxas looked into Axel's eyes.  
"I love your eyes because they show me everything."  
Moving up, Roxas kissed the top of Axel's head and laughed as Axel's hair tickled his nose.  
"I love your hair because it's so natural and really beautiful."  
Leaning back, Roxas looked down and smiled at his blushing boyfriend. Returning to Axel's face, Roxas smiled and placed kiss onto Axel's lips.  
"I love your lips because of the things you say, because of your voice, because of how they taste and their feeling ... there are many reasons I love your lips."

Roxas blinked as Axel bite his lip and turned his face away, worried he did something wrong.  
"Axel?"  
"Hm?"  
"You okay?"  
"Hm."  
Moving beside him, Roxas took Axel's face in his hands and frowned as he felt the wetness on his hands and noticed the tears running down Axel's face.  
"I did something wrong?"  
Shaking his head, Axel looked at Roxas and tried to get his emotions under control, knowing that if he spoke now he'd sob.  
"Thank you."  
That was all Axel managed to choke out before he sobbed and hugged Roxas to him. Feeling relief wash over him that he had made Axel feel some what better, Roxas moved his head back and shook his head.  
"I'm not done yet."  
"You're not?"  
Shaking his head, Roxas leaned up and kissed Axel's forehead.  
"I love your brain and what it's able to do ... And I hope this shows you that you're nothing but beautiful in my eyes; inside and out. If you gained weight you'd still be beautiful. I hope your amazing mind can remember that I'll always see you in this light."

Axel didn't know if his mind could remember that, and he wasn't going to promise Roxas that he'd never feel negatively about himself, but he knew that every time he looked at something on his body he'd remember this night and it would come with a positive feeling and maybe this memory was enough to help him see what Roxas was seeing.

"You're done now?"  
"One last thing."  
Leaning back, Roxas looked down and smiled at his boyfriend. Returning to Axel's chest, Roxas looked up at a now leaning up Axel. Placing a gentle kiss above Axel's heart, Roxas looked into Axel's eyes and smiled.  
"And I love your heart because you let me into it."


	6. Clubs and Hotels

AN: This would be a chapter that would fit into the "M" rating. Swearing and sexual content ahead.

* * *

"Roxas, give me my clothing back!"

"I left you some clothes!"  
"These aren't my clothes these are ... Roxas! Dammit, come back!"  
Grinning and running with a bundle of his best friends clothing, Roxas made his way into the hotel's bedroom and put them under the bed, along with Axel's suitcase. Coming out with just a towel on, Axel looked at his best friend with an amused and annoyed look on his face.  
"My clothing, please?"  
"Wear what I left for you."  
"No way."  
"Why?"  
"Because they're so ... small!"  
"Come on! Those pants are too big on me and I'm sure they'd fit you, and my top ... will look nice on you. We are going to a club, you know."

Sighing in defeat, Axel shook his head and returned to the bathroom.  
"I look stupid!"  
"I'll be the judge of that, my dear."  
Exiting the bathroom and glaring daggers at Roxas, Axel stood there and waited for Roxas to start laughing and taking pictures to use against him. Skinny jeans were never his thing, and even though these ones did fit, there wasn't much "breathing room". The top was a very bright blue t-shirt that Axel had seen Roxas wear a few times so it didn't fit ... at all. It was tight across his ... everything, and it showed some of his stomach. This was not Axel's look. Not at all.  
"You look great! Let's go!"  
Rolling his eyes, Axel picked up his wallet and blinked.  
"I ... don't even have a place to put my wallet!"  
"With that look you'll have guys buying you drinks."  
Tossing his wallet to Roxas, Axel watched as he put it in his spacious pockets.  
"You don't know what you have until it's gone, ugh."  
"What was that?"  
"Nothing, let's go."

Walking to the club wasn't as uncomfortable as Axel had thought it would be, but he did wish Roxas would stop lagging behind to look in shop windows. Once in the club, both of them stared at each other and looked around, not sure where to go first or what to do. Deciding that ordering a drink would be the best thing, they made their way over to the bar. Taking his wallet from Roxas, Axel took enough money to last him the night. Ordering his drink, paying and stuffing the rest of the cash back into his pocket, Axel gave Roxas back his wallet and looked around again.  
"You know, we're at a party with flashing lights and Go-Go boys, you could have ordered something a little ... fancier."  
Looking down at the glass of Jack and coke in his hand, Axel rolled his eyes and waved Roxas off.  
"I'll order something with an umbrella the next time, okay?"

Taking a sip, Axel looked around and noticed that a few people were checking him out. Feeling the blush start to rise onto his cheeks, he continued to look around until his eyes rested on a very handsome man.  
"He's checked your ass out like, six times, dude."  
Shrugging, Axel turned to his best friend and smiled. Downing his drink and making Roxas do the same, Axel grabbed his hand and dragged him onto the dance floor. Axel wasn't sure if he was interested in the man across the room, but he did know he was interested in his best friend and dancing with him was a rare occurrence now, plus Axel never had the time to go clubbing or dance anymore so who better to enjoy the night with?

Their dance was innocent, they weren't grinding heavily and their faces weren't close together, but the heat was there. Shifting in this position, Axel made their crotches brush up against each other and smirked as Roxas glared up at him and gave him the finger.  
"Aw, you know you love when I do that."  
"I know another person who will love when you do that, too."  
Blinking in confusion, Axel was just about to ask what Roxas had meant by that when he felt a pair of hands on his hips. Turning his neck to see the stranger, Axel raised an eyebrow and blushed as the handsome man grinned down at him. Turning back to Roxas, Axel gasped as his best friend winked and made his way back to the bar.

Feeling handsome man's breath on his neck, Axel shivered and turned in his arms, finally being able to see all of the man. Axel had guessed the man was 6'5, but that was all he could guess. He could tell by the t-shirt the man was wearing that he had a nice build, and his hair was black, but greying ... And his eyes were a very dark brown.  
"I'm Landon."  
Axel blinked and took the hand that was offered to him.  
"I'm Axel."  
Feeling Landon place his hand back on his hips, Axel shrugged and started to dance with the stranger and this time, it was anything but innocent.

* * *

Roxas watched his best friend and crush dance with some guy who, much to Roxas' disappointment, was very tall, very fit and very handsome. Taking a drink of his vodka and Red Bull, Roxas looked on and frowned. It was a stupid idea to make Axel wear those clothes, but he wanted to see how Axel looked in his t-shirt and the jeans. He knew those jeans would fit Axel perfectly and he had even pretended to be interested in the shops while they were walking up here just so he could stare at Axel's ass while he walked.

Growling and ordering a shot of tequila, Roxas downed it and looked around the room. No one interested him, no one except the redhead who was being dry humped in the middle of the dance floor. Roxas lost count of the shots he had ordered, but by now he was feeling pretty good, and pretty damn confident. Standing up, falling back onto the stool and standing up again, Roxas made his way to where his best friend and the tall guy were still dancing ... well, Roxas thought they were still dancing ... it did look a little like they were having sex.

Standing behind Axel and placing his hands above the strangers, Roxas glared at the tall male and began to sway his hips against Axel's ass, nipping at his shoulder blades.

Turning in Landon's arms, Axel looked down at his friend and grinned, obviously having had a few shots himself.  
"Hey! Where you been, Rox?"  
"Bar!"  
Tilting his head so Landon could get to his neck better, Axel glanced over at the bar and looked at Roxas.  
"His name is Landon! He owns the place!"  
"Really?"  
"Yeah!"  
"Does he actually or is he just trying to fuck you?"  
Roxas glared up at "Landon" and hoped the look he was giving was intimidating. By Landon's laugh, Roxas had guessed he failed.

Roxas lost track of time, too focused on grinding against Axel and glaring at Landon. He didn't like this guy at all. Raising an eyebrow, Roxas watched Landon reach into his pocket and take out a small bag. He could tell there were pills in the bag, but he didn't know what kind ... probably E though, most clubs had that shit.  
"Here, take one."  
Before Axel could object or agree, Roxas had stopped Landon's hand and shook his head.  
"He's fine."  
Rolling his eyes, Axel smiled at Landon and shrugged.  
"He's protective."  
"He's a brat."

Moving away from Landon, Axel turned and shook his head.  
"Thanks for the dance, but I think the brat and I will be leaving."  
Grabbing Roxas' hand, Axel made his way through the crowd of people and exited the club and breathed in the cold night air.  
"What was that about?"  
"You had a problem with him the whole time we were dancing and then he called you a brat ... I don't know why you didn't like him, but if you didn't then something was off bout' him."  
"Oh ... yeah ..."  
Axel wasn't sure if it was the night air, the coldness or the fact that he had actually walked, but the shots and whiskey he had in the club hit him and everything took a very interesting shape.  
"You okay?"  
"Hell yes. But I think I'm drunk."  
"You think you're drunk?"  
"Yeah."  
"I think I'm drink too."

Giggling, Axel leaned against the wall.  
"What?"  
"You said you thought you were drink too."  
"Drink? I said drunk."  
"No, you said drink!"  
Axel wrapped his arm around his best friend's shoulders and began to walk back to their hotel, both of them now giggling.

* * *

Getting back to the hotel was rather easy, they had only stumbled a few times and the most challenging thing was getting the key into the lock. Once in the room, Axel turned on the TV and gasping.  
"Dude! It's nearly five in the morning!"  
"For real?"  
"Did you really just say "for real"?"  
Snorting, Roxas nodded and flopped onto his bed. Laughing and sitting on his bed, Axel gasped and threw his pillow at Roxas.  
"Let's play truth or dare!"  
"What are we 16?"  
"Shut up! Truth or dare?"  
Sitting up and staring at Axel, Roxas shrugged and bit his lip.  
"Dare."  
"Okay ... I dare you to ... wear one of my t-shirts and nothing else."  
"Is this payback?"  
"Sorta."

Giggling and going under the bed, Roxas grabbed one of Axel's t-shirts, one that he knew to be long on Axel, and removed his own clothing, making sure Axel got to see everything before he put the t-shirt on.  
"You look cute in my top."  
Nodding, Roxas smirked, "Did you think I'd look awful? Truth or dare?"  
"Dare."  
"I dare you to ... remove your jeans and wear a pair of my boxers."  
"Yeah, because that's such a scary dare."  
Catching the boxers Roxas threw at him, Axel made quick work of his jeans and put on the boxers, muttering about how they were like boxer briefs on him.

* * *

They had been playing for 10 minutes, and by now Roxas had Axel's top pulled over his head to make it seem like a cape and Axel had no underwear on and his hair was in a pigtails.  
"Truth or dare, Rox."  
Roxas looked over at his best friend and smiled, glad that Axel was lying on his stomach so Roxas could see his ass perfectly.  
"Truth."  
"Why didn't you like Landon?"  
"He was touching you."  
"Touching me?"  
"Yeah, dude. I mean, I usually try to hide my feelings for you, but the way he was practically fucking you on the dance floor ... it got to me, you know?"  
Roxas felt his eye twitch as the realization of his words hit home. He had just admitted to Axel that he liked him. Dammit, he was never drinking again. Bloody truth serum.  
"So ... you'd rather be the one doing that?"  
"Forget I said anything. I'm tired now."  
Rolling onto his side, Roxas shut his eyes and hoped Axel would drop it.

Feeling the bed dip and Axel's hands on his arm, Roxas knew that "dropping it" was probably not an option.  
"Come on, you can't say something like that and then be all forget about it."  
Turning Roxas onto his back, Axel climbed onto his lap and glared at the blond below him, whose eyes were now wide with a bunch of emotions Axel's not as drunk as before, but still pretty drunk mind couldn't pinpoint.  
"What do you want me to say, Axel?"  
"The truth?"  
"Fine. Yes, I would have preferred it be me."  
Nodding, Axel rocked his hips and watched as Roxas' eyes seemed to light up.  
"What are you doing?"  
"Figured since we both want the same, why not do it?"  
Reaching over and grabbing the remote, Axel flicked through the channels until he came across the music section, grinning when he found some clubbish music.  
"Perfect."  
Placing the remote down, Axel placed his hands on Roxas' chest and began rocking his hips to the beat of the music, letting his eyes drift shut and biting his lip.

Looking up at Axel, Roxas raised his eyebrows and hoped that it wasn't the alcohol clouding Axel's judgement and that Axel really did feel the same ... But one thing was for sure, right now Axel was naked - with an erection, on his lap and grinding against him. Gripping Axel's hips, Roxas grinned and moved his hips against Axel's, making their movements opposite each other.  
"Fuck, you look so good in my top."  
Moaning, Axel moved and took both his and Roxas' penis into his hand, stroking them both at the same time and with the beat of the music.  
"You gonna wear my clothes again?"  
"Anything you want."

Stroking faster, Axel leaned down and kissed Roxas, savouring the taste of Red Bull and vodka. Feeling his orgasm approaching, Axel bit Roxas' bottom lip and tugged, making sure to look into Roxas' eyes while he did so. It was Roxas' turn to moan loud, briefly wondering how Axel knew that was a huge turn on for him. Squeezing Axel's hips and moaning his name, Roxas came with Axel's name on his lips. Axel came a second after, releasing Roxas' lip and burying his face in Roxas' neck. Neither of them had a chance to say anything to each other. They had fallen asleep not long after they came.

* * *

Groaning, Axel shifted and whined, wondering how he had fallen asleep kneeling.  
"Rox?"  
"No."  
"Mornin', Rox."  
Feeling Roxas tighten his hold around Axel's waist, Axel smiled and felt relief wash over him, knowing that last night wasn't just a drunken mistake.  
"I have to move, my legs are killing me."  
Feeling Roxas pout against his chest, but let his waist go, Axel smiled and moved off of Roxas and stood up, wincing at his legs got to stretch.  
"What are you doing?"  
"I've always wanted to hold your ass like this."  
"So ... last night wasn't just, like, a one-time deal?"  
Leaning closer and nipping at Axel's lower back, Roxas shook his head and smiled.  
"No, not a one-time thing."  
"Good. So ... does this mean we're dating now?"  
"Yeah ... I think so."  
"Awesome ... take me to lunch?"  
Snickering and standing up, Roxas leaned down and opened his suitcase.  
"... Will you wear another one of my tops?"  
Pulling the light blue t-shirt off, Axel reached over and grabbed one of Roxas' t-shirts.

* * *

AN: I wonder if you can tell I like making Axel submissive. No? Cool. Also, not really sure if this is suitable for the "wearing each other's clothes" but this will do. I had different ideas and this one kind of ... happened so ... yeah.


	7. He's always watching

"I'm so bored!"  
Axel groaned and slid half way off the couch, dropping the remote beside his boyfriend.  
"Well, find something to do?"

"Something, not someone, I have homework."  
Groaning again, Axel slid off the couch and onto the floor, leaning his head back and looking up at the ceiling, he began to think of all the things he could do. Games? Nah. Movies? None appear to be on and he's watched the ones they had five times each, if not more. Axel supposed he could draw but ... no. His hand was still sore from his earlier sketch.

"Roxas"  
Axel knew his boyfriend's name came out incredibly whiny, but dammit, he was just so bored!  
"I have an idea. Why don't you go to Subway."  
"You just want me gone."  
"It'll give you something to do."  
Sighing and nodding, Axel rose to his feet and grabbed his coat off the living room chair.  
"Do you want the pepper on it this time?"  
"Not like, peppers, no. But ground pepper, yeah ..."  
"Alright, and to drink?"  
"Chocolate milk."  
"Be back soon ... And I'll still be bored."  
"But you'll be eating and I'll be done my homework soon."  
Leaving their apartment, Axel glided down the ramp and smiled as he passed one of the apartment building's tenants.  
"Hi, Xemnas."  
"Hi, Axe- ..."  
"I have Heelys ..."  
"Glad you cleared that up, I was beginning to think I was losing my mind."  
"You need help?"

Axel looked towards Xemnas' car and nodded towards it, but more specifically the boxes inside.  
"Would you?"  
"Yeah, sure. You need them upstairs?"  
Nodding, Xemnas grabbed one of the boxes and let Axel grab the other.  
"So ... this one is pretty light. Just clothing?"  
"Ah, yeah. A store I frequented closed down and they gave me some stuff. Mostly clothing, but there are a few belt buckles and other clothing accessories. Think you'd be interested in any of them?"  
"I might be. When do you plan on going through it?"  
"As soon as we put them down."  
Entering Xemnas' apartment, Axel looked around and smiled.  
"This place suits you perfectly, Xemnas."  
"Is that a compliment or ...?"  
"Huh? Yeah, it is. Don't worry. Where do you want the box?"  
"Just set it on the coffee table."

Setting the box down, Axel watched Xemnas do the same.  
"I'm going to get a pop, I'll bring you back one too. And cookies."  
Smiling and thanking Xemnas, Axel pulled his phone out and sent a text message to Roxas.  
"I'm at Xemnas place. Still doing homework?"  
"Shit, you scared me. No, I'm playing Slender ... why are you at his house?"  
"Helped him with something and now we're going through them. I gotta go, he's back."  
Putting his phone back into his pocket, Axel took the coke that was offered to him and sat on the couch.  
"So, what type of clothing?"  
Xemnas sat beside Axel and placed one of the boxes on the floor, opening the top.  
"Fancy clothing. Dress pants and the like, but there are some expensive jeans in here too."  
"Oh ... I don't buy expensive clothing. I tend to always ruin them."  
Axel glanced down at his jeans. They had seen better days, but thankfully for Axel, ripped jeans was a "thing" now and people actually paid money for jeans like them.  
"That's alright. I'm too old to wear some of the clothing in these boxes ... plus, I don't wear belt buckles. The only things I'd like are the socks and briefs."  
Picking Xemnas in briefs, Axel blinked and shook his head. Xemnas wasn't a bad looking man, but he was old enough to be Axel's father and since Axel's biological father stopped giving a shit about him, Xemnas had sort of become a father figure to Axel.

"So, there are only two boxes?"  
"Actually, there are 15, you just came late."  
"Oh."  
The first box didn't have much, but it gave Axel an idea.  
"It's really only dress shirts and dress pants, I think."  
"... Think there would be a suit jacket or something?"  
"In one of the boxes, yeah, why?"  
"I have a plan, but I'd need a white button up, a suit jacket, black dress pants, a red tie, black shoes and something white big enough to fit over my head."  
The look on Xemnas face made Axel laugh so hard his stomach and face started to hurt. He knew that even if he explained himself, Xemnas still wouldn't understand and the idea of leaving Xemnas in the dark about this situation was too tempting.

* * *

It didn't take them long to go through the boxes. Xemnas found more than just socks and underwear that he was interested in and soon had a wardrobe of very stylish suits and even a pair of jeans - the only pair that were simple, light and plain. He had given Axel all of the jeans that came in his size and Roxas' size, and they even found Axel a nice waistcoat. Axel had laughed and put it on over his white t-shirt, asking Xemnas how odd he looked. Xemnas wiggled his eyebrows and told him he should go see Roxas in that outfit.

By the end of it, Axel had two boxes full of clothing. Jeans, belt buckles, a pair of leather gloves, under shirts, a few button up shirts and even a checkered belt for Roxas. Axel had thanked Xemnas over and over again and it got to the point where when Xemnas heard the sound "th" come out of Axel's lips, he'd give him a gentle swat to the head and smile, telling Axel that it was really no problem and that he was like a son to him so why shouldn't he give him this stuff? Plus, it was free.

Bringing the boxes upstairs, Axel managed to open the door without dropping anything.  
"Roxas, I brought clo-"  
"Ah!"  
"Ah?!"  
"Dammit, Axel! You scared me again."  
"Sorry. I brought stuff home though, see!"  
Placing the boxes down, Axel grinned and pointed to them.  
"We even managed to find some things for yo- ... Why are you looking at me like that?"  
"Your outfit."

Axel looked down and shifted. It didn't exactly fit together, and Axel knew he probably looked stupid. After all, he was wearing his beat up Heelys, torn jeans, a white t-shirt and the black waistcoat that he had buttoned up.  
"Ah ... Yeah, Xemnas gave me the waistcoat ... said he thought it would suit me."  
"It does ... you look really, really good, Axel."  
Grinning, Axel shoved his hands in his pockets and looked down.  
"Fuck. Really good."  
Looking up, Axel bit his lip and nodded towards the boxes.  
"Don't go through them until I get back, okay? I wanna see your face when you see the stuff I picked out for you."  
"Fine ... wait, where are you going?"  
"Subway."  
Axel was gone before Roxas could protest.

* * *

"Okay ... I'm going to leave the food here, but I'll be back shortly. Tha-"  
"Don't say it, kid."  
"... Thank you."  
Running out the door, Axel snickered and went to his apartment.

* * *

Opening the door as quietly as he could, Axel listened to the sounds coming from the living room. He could hear the sound of Slender playing from the computer, with Roxas' occassional "Please don't kill me!"'s. Sneaking into the kitchen, Axel opened his bag and took out his sketchbook, drawing and writing on a page.

Sneaking into the living room, Axel put the page on the wall that divided the kitchen and living room and snuck back into the kitchen, making a sound so Roxas would be alerted.  
"Dammit, Axel! You scared me ag- ... Axel?"  
"What the hell is that?"  
"Axel! That isn't funny!"  
"Axel?"  
Holding in his laughter, Axel went to the far end of their kitchen and stood there, staring at the entrance.  
"You're such a di- Ah! Fuck!"  
Axel let himself smirk as Roxas came into the kitchen and ran back out. Watching Roxas peek his head out, Axel stayed perfectly still.  
"Haha, very funny. I should kick you straight in the balls, mister."  
Axel briefly wondered how he was holding himself together.  
"Axel ...?"  
Walking closer, Roxas raised an eyebrow and looked at the man, who looked a lot like Slenderman, that was standing in his kitchen. Reaching his hand out, Roxas went to touch the strangers face, but was grabbing before he could make contact. Squeaking and pulling his hand back, Roxas shut his eyes and waited for Slenderman to kill him.

That is, until Slenderman started to laugh, and his laugh sounded a lot like his boyfriends laugh. Maybe Slender wasn't the one that was going to do the killing tonight.  
"You asshole!"  
Pulling the white mask off, Axel laughed and ran his hand through his hair.  
"I honestly couldn't resist."  
"You could have, you just didn't!"  
"No, no, I really couldn't resist."  
"Did you try?"  
Laughing some more, Axel shook his head.  
"Not really, no."  
"You're such an asshole."  
Pulling Roxas onto his lap, Axel leaned his head into the crook of his neck and laughed some more.

Shaking his head, Roxas tried to stand up, but feeling Axel's body shake with laughter and his breath on his neck, Roxas rolled his eyes and began to laugh as well.  
"Such a dick."  
"You're the one who wanted me to try cosplaying."  
"Yeah, but you're not supposed to cosplay against me, you're supposed to cosplay with me!"  
"Is that a cosplay rule?"  
"If I say it is, will you believe me?"  
Axel shook his head and smiled, kissing Roxas on the cheek and standing them both up.  
"I'm going to get you back, you know that, right?"  
"Yes, I know. And, I'm sure I'll be equally frightened."  
"Damn right you will be."  
"I have to go back to Xemnas place to get our food."

Walking to their door, Axel laughed as he felt Roxas grab his hand and glare.  
"You're not leaving without me."  
"Why? Afraid?"  
"Shut up."  
"Aw, you are."  
"I will kick you in the balls, Axel."  
Snickering and opening the door, Axel and Roxas walked towards Xemnas place, with Axel wondering how Roxas was going to react seeing Xemnas on the other side dressed as another Slender.


	8. Guilty Pleasures

"Axel, food isn't going to appear if you stand there with the door open."  
"Huh? ... I know that, Rox. I'm writing down what we need."  
"You don't have a pen. It's okay, you can admit that you were just staring into the fridge."  
"... I have an ipod that has a reminder check-list thing. Why would I ... nevermind. Will you drive me to Fresh Foods?"  
"Sure. Want me to stick around while you're getting the food?"  
"You can, I don't mind."

Axel knew that Roxas wasn't a fan of grocery shopping as it was, and adding on the rude people never helped ... plus, today there was a sale on so that would mean more people, and more rudeness, so Axel never asked Roxas to stay, and he never expected him to. They had a nice arrangement where Roxas would drop him off and pick him up when he called ... But Axel would be lying if he said he didn't wish Roxas would stick around every once in awhile and help him.

Grabbing his coat and keys, Axel walked to the parking lot with Roxas and got in the passenger side.  
"Have you ever thought about getting your like, car license and having both the car and motorcycle license?"  
"Why? Getting tired of driving your boyfriend to Fresh Foods?"  
Smiling and shaking his head, Roxas turned the car on and started the drive to the grocery store.  
"Never. I just think you'd benefit from driving a car ..."  
"If this is about you being worried that I'm on a motorcycle and I don't have any protection, we already discussed this."  
He was now looking at Roxas with an amused, but touched, smile on his face. Roxas always worried about Axel when he went out on his bike. A lot of people didn't care about people on bikes, and they weren't as protected as those in a car ... plus, they were exposed to all the elements and Roxas was scared that something bad would happen to Axel; human or nature caused.

"... When we go up to your parent's cottage you can start teaching me how to drive and I'll take my test ... But I'm still going to use my bike everywhere I go."  
"Use a car when it's raining? And in the winter?"  
"When it's raining hard, fine. ...And I guess the winter will be fine too. Will you stop driving me places if I can drive myself?"  
"Nah. I know you enjoy our car conversations too much."  
"Yeah, let's go with that."  
Axel smiled at Roxas pulled into the parking lot of Fresh Foods, his smile fading fast as he realized Roxas took the last parking spot.  
"You don't have to come in, you know. I know crowds make you nervous and it's going to be really, really crowded in there."  
Roxas took his seatbelt off and got out of the car, followed quickly by Axel.  
"It's okay, Axel. If I start to panic I'll leave, okay?"  
Nodding, Axel walked towards the carts and took out a quarter and put it in the slot to get the cart.

"So, what did you have to get?"  
"Hm? Oh, we'll get to that isle. I take it you usually just go isle by isle?"  
"Yeah, I do."  
"So ... vegetables and fruits first?"  
Walking towards the vegetables and fruits section, Axel nodded and picked up a head of lettuce and examined it.  
"What are you doing?"  
"I'm making sure it's good."  
"Oh. Is it?"  
"Yep."  
Placing the lettuce into the cart, Axel began walking again with Roxas right beside him.

* * *

They had gone down many isle with Axel checking off the things he got off his list and had just turned down the section Axel liked to refer to as "guilty pleasures" because everyone who went down this isle tended to hide their purchase and sneak it into their cart, making sure no one else saw it. Axel wasn't one of those people who felt guilty about eating chips or sweet things. He liked chips and chocolate, so why should the purchase of said things make him feel guilty?

Picking up the box of popcorn, Axel glanced at his boyfriend and raised his eyebrow.  
"You okay?"  
"Yeah, I just didn't expect there to be so many kinds."  
"Did you come here just to get to this section?"  
"Yes. A commercial came on last night for a chocolate bar, and I've been wanting it ever since. I know Nutty makes a lot of different kinds, so I didn't want to explain it to you and since you were sleeping, you didn't get to see it. So I thought I'd tag along and see if they sold it."  
"Would it be this one?"  
Axel pointed down at a Nutty bar that had "NEW" plastered onto the cover.  
"Nutty peanut butter and peanut bar?"  
"Yes! That's it!"  
Picking up two, Axel dropped them into the cart and winked at Roxas. He had a very soft spot for peanut butter ... well, anything with nuts really. Telling people that always resulted in them smirking or making testicle jokes, but as a gay man Axel could proudly say that he liked all types of nuts.

"Is that all we need to get?"  
"I just need to pick up a few more things."  
"Can we get a frozen pizza?"  
"Yeah, sure. I actually think that's on the list."  
"Are you making that tonight?"  
"I was going to, yeah."  
"Awesome."  
Axel smiled, glad that Roxas didn't seem to mind the crowds so much, and when they did get too much they'd move to a different section, or Roxas would move closer to him. He was incredibly proud of Roxas for doing this and this was a giant step for him. He didn't expect Roxas to do it every time Axel went grocery shopping, but it was something.

* * *

Checking out, Axel knew that Roxas was anxious. Roxas had a fear of not having enough money when he went to the store and he was now staring at the computer monitor seeing how much it was currently at. Axel could tell he was worried and he didn't even know how much money Axel had on him, or in the bank.  
"Rox, why don't you bag the groceries?"  
Tossing the bags he had brought with him to Roxas, Axel watched as he glanced one last time at the monitor and went down to where the food was, bagging it slowly as if he was worried they'd have to put it all back.

Paying and moving down towards Roxas, Axel put his cart behind them so they could put the bags into it.  
"Did you have en-"  
"Yes, I did."  
Axel frowned slightly as he watched his boyfriend's shoulders relax.  
"You were really freaked out during the check-out, eh?"  
"Was it obvious?"  
"Only in your eyes, but when I told you there was nothing to worry about you like, relaxed a lot ... you know, you can ask if we have enough money."  
"I thought it was rude and personal."  
"It's your money too, Rox. Plus, I keep track of how much we spend and add it up while we're going."  
"In your head?"  
"Nah, with my ipod."  
Placing the last bag into the cart, Axel rolled the cart outside and to the car.  
"There. Now we get to go home and put it all away."  
Rolling the cart back and getting his quarter, Axel returned to the car and got inside, ready to go home and make lunch. Grocery shopping always made Axel hungry.

* * *

"So ... would you say that you owe me?"  
"What?"  
Axel stopped eating his pizza and looked at Roxas.  
"I mean, not in like a literal kind of way. But like since I went with you to Fresh Foods, would you be willing to do something you're not comfortable with ... for me?"  
"Aw, you're going to use this against me?"  
"No, but it was a way of asking if you'd do something for me."  
"Depends on what it is."  
"Something you're not comfortable with."  
"I'm not comfortable wearing high heels for long periods of time, so you're going to have to be a little more specific because I have myself in high heels on a tall building being chased by months."  
Snickering and shaking his head, Roxas set his pizza down.  
"Come to the shop with me."  
"The shop? What sh ... that shop? Ah, Roxas."  
"I need to pick up a bachelorette party things and I know they sell penis straws. Plus, maybe we could find something to use?"  
"Fine."  
Picking his pizza back up and biting into it, Axel wondered what could possibly be in the sex shop that they could use or need.

Biting into his pizza again to stop the smirk that was forming, Axel hummed and began to think about all the things they could use, and the things they needed.  
"When did you want to go?"  
"How about after we're done eating?"  
"Alright ... Am I going to regret this?"  
"Why would you?"  
"I can see the look in your eyes."  
Shrugging, Axel winked at his boyfriend and continued to eat his pizza, glad that Roxas went shopping with him and glad that he now got to go shopping with Roxas.

* * *

AN: This was incredibly difficult to write and I have no idea why, so sorry for this, and sorry it's late.


	9. Needles and Ink

AN: So, I feel this story should have a warning attached because there's mention of blood and body modification, but it isn't a video ... but I guess if you have a weak stomach it's best not to read this chapter.

* * *

"I can't believe you're doing this, babe."  
"You're still going to love me, right?"  
"Of course I will, but it's going to hurt."  
"It will also feel great once it's healed."  
"How is that suppose to feel great?"  
"I meant for you."  
Blushing, Roxas turned away from his boyfriend and looked at Larxene.  
"Out of all the things we could have done as friends and all the places we could have hung out, we're in a tattoo shop."  
"Don't worry, sweetie. We planned this months in advance ... you just happened to be here."  
"What!?"  
"It's true, Roxas. Larxene and I planned this shit out a long time ago ... I asked you to come along because I'm nervous."

Axel glanced at the scalpel and shuddered. It wasn't the scalpel itself that worried Axel, or the pain that was to follow ... Axel could take all of that, but it was the blood. Axel did not like blood at all.  
"I still can't believe you freak out over the sight of blood. You do know you bleed for tattoos, right?"  
"It's not that I'm afraid of the sight of blood. I just think I'm going to bleed to death and I barely see the blood when I get my tattoos done. But I'm getting my tongue cut in half ... I'm going to see, taste and feel the blood ... Oh Christ."  
Roxas laughed and looked down at his boyfriend, shaking his head at the whole thing.

Roxas knew that people were surprised to hear they were together ... they were complete opposites. Roxas dressed in fitting jeans and fitting t-shirts, he had blond hair that he kept blond and he's had the same hair cut since he was 13. While Axel ... Axel was everything Roxas wasn't, appearance wise at least. He had spikey red hair that Roxas had to check and see if it was natural (it was), tattoos and piercings and his jeans were always torn and his t-shirts were always bag. It wasn't even that Axel bought his clothes with tears in them, he just did things to cause them to tear and stain ... things Roxas would never do, like go into an abandoned factory to check for ghosts only to have his pants catch on a broken pipe.

But Axel was sweet and kind, he was funny and incredibly smart and Roxas was glad he didn't judge Axel by his cover. They had been together three years and he loved every minute of it.  
"Roxas? Roxas, don't zone out on me now, I need you!"  
Shaking his head and looking directly into his boyfriend's eyes, Roxas smirked and shrugged.  
"Sorry, was thinking about us. What's up?"  
"Saix is about to cut my tongue in half so you know, try to focus."  
"Oh ... you don't want me to hold your hand, do you?"  
"No."  
"Okay, because I'm going to film it."  
"Why?"  
"So you can watch it later and pass out at the sight of your blood running down your front."  
"Why would you do that to me?"  
"Because I love you."  
Sighing and turning towards Saix, Axel stuck his tongue out and let Saix clamp the two forceps onto his tongue, one on either side.

"This is going to be so cool."  
Roxas turned his attention back to Larxene, who was getting a tattoo of her cat's paw onto her arm.  
"Are you sure you don't want to get anything done, Roxas? I think you'd look adorable with a labret piercing, or even a belly button ring."  
"No, thank you. I'm fine how I am."  
Smiling and rolling her eyes, Larxene turned her focus back on to Saix and Axel, watching with wide eyes as Saix picked up the scaplel.  
"Ready?"  
"Uh-huh."  
"Awesome."

Pulling his camera out, Roxas began filming, but had to look away five seconds into the process, imagining the pain that Axel probably felt made his stomach turn and his tongue hurt. Glancing back to Axel, Roxas felt the colour wash from his face at the sight of blood.  
"Looks like Axel isn't the only one with the fear of blood."  
"It's because it's my boyfriend."  
"Go back to shutting your eyes, you'll be watching the video with Axel later on."  
Nodding, Roxas sat on one of the chairs and made sure the camera was on Axel.  
"How's your tattoo?"  
"It's almost done."  
"Does it hurt?"  
"Not really, no."  
"I think I might get my lip pierced."  
"Really?"  
"Yes."  
"I think it would look cute on you, Roxas. A little stud though, not a hoop. Well, maybe a hoop ... go with the stud though."

"Done, you didn't want the cauterization, right? You wanted the stitches?"  
"Sitches, yeah."  
Larxene smiled and talked for Axel, knowing that he couldn't.  
The whole process didn't take long and Roxas turned back to Saix with his eyes wide.  
"You're done? Already?"  
"I'm done the cutting, yep. Just need to stitch him up. How you doing, Ax?"  
Putting his thumbs up, which were shaking, Axel blinked and looked at Roxas, who looked like he had just had the procedure done.

Stitching Axel up didn't take long either, and Roxas just stared and was glad he was sat down.  
"Ou okay?"  
Nodding, Roxas blinked and looked at his boyfriend, amazing that he was able to talk and still had colour in his cheeks.  
"Ou ook ick."  
"No, I just can't believe ... Wow."  
Turning his camera to Larxene, Roxas zoomed in on her now complete tattoo.  
"That looks really cute, Larxene.  
"Yeah, thank you. Are you getting your lip done?"  
"Oh ... yes. I am."  
Looking at Saix, Roxas smiled and shifted slightly.  
"... I'd like my lip done, please, the labret. With a stud, if possible."  
"You have to fill this form out, hold on."  
"Ou illy gunna get it done?"  
"Yeah. I think it would suit me too ... I'm just scared of needles and that's really been the only thing holding me back.  
"Oh.. okay. Ou know at I uv ou no matter what ou have, ight?  
"I know. Don't worry, I'm not getting this thinking that you want me to. I really do want a piercing."  
"Well be careful, Roxas. They're addictive."

Looking at Saix and nodding, Roxas took the clipboard and began filling the information out as Axel stood slowly and made his way out to pay for his tongue, followed by Larxene.  
"Wait, you two are coming back right?"  
"Uh-huh!"  
"Yeah!"  
Finishing the form, Roxas handed it to Xemnas, the tattoo artist, who nodded and placed it aside while Saix got everything set up.  
"Alright, swish this in your mouth, spit it here and then sit in the chair."  
Standing and feeling his legs turn into jelly, Roxas made his way to the sink and did as he was told, then to the chair and sat down fast.  
"My legs feel like jelly."  
"Did you eat before you came here?"  
"Yes."  
"Didn't drink alcohol last night or take any drugs? Pills?"  
"Nope."  
"Are you on any blood thinners?"  
"No."  
"History of bleeding in the family?"  
"Nope."  
Axel and Larxene returned and smiled at Roxas, both of them pulling out their phones to take a video of this. Marking where the piercing was going to be, Saix showed Roxas in the mirror.  
"Is that okay?"  
"Yeah, it's great."  
Roxas smiled at the little dot by his lip, right in the middle.  
"Perfect. Ready to go?"  
Shutting his eyes and taking a deep breath, Roxas nodded and waited for the worst pain of his life.

He felt the forceps clamp on, he heard Saix tell him to take a deep breath in; which he did, and then he felt ... a pinch and the feel of skin splitting in two, like he had just ripped a dead piece of skin off his lip.  
"Done."  
Cracking his eye open, Roxas glanced down and back up at Saix, who was currently putting the ball onto the stud.  
"What? You're done?"  
"Yep. How was it?"  
"I ... But it was supposed to hu ... what the fuck?"  
Hearing Axel laugh and then whine, Roxas turned and glared, but stopped at the puppy eyes he was receiving.  
"That didn't hurt as much as I thought it would."  
"It never does."  
Standing up slowly to make sure he wasn't going to faint, Roxas listened to Saix explain the rules and took the piece of paper handed to him.

"Since I know your boyfriend and he comes in here often, this one is free."  
"This one? Oh, no, I won't be getting more."  
"We'll see."  
Saix winked and Roxas and returned to the main counter, leaving Roxas there confused.  
"Well, I know you two don't want to eat and probably can't, but I'd like a milkshake ... And you two can have water ... Nice, refreshing water."  
Looking at Larxene, both Axel and Roxas nodded and left the store holding each other's hands.

Passing by a mirror, Roxas glanced at his reflection and smiled at his new piercing. It looked awesome ... But not as awesome as a nose ring would look on him. Thinking back to Saix's words, Roxas sighed and knew Saix was probably right. And Roxas knew that his father would be there with his usual speech ready.  
"I told you hanging out with those two would be trouble."  
But hanging out with Axel and Larxene had given Roxas love and amazing memories. Hanging out with his friends helped him when nothing else could. And if one day he didn't want his piercing, he could take it out, but he could never remove the impact these two had made on him.


	10. Here Kitty Kitty

AN: This chapter contains sex and swearing. If you're too young to read that, or feel uncomfortable with it, skip this chapter.

* * *

"Hey pretty kitty."  
Axel blinked and looked towards the voice, rolling his eyes at the sight of a pirate.  
"Piss off, Xigbar."  
"Can I take you home and stroke you?"  
Picking up a pop and turning away, Axel walked back to his boyfriend and ignored the whistles and "Here kitty, kitty, kitty"'s Xigbar was calling after him.

He knew his costume would draw attention, after all black leather pants drew attention no matter where you were, and the black cat tail probably didn't help. He also knew that the black pointy cat ears sat on top of his fire red hair would draw more attention, but it was for Roxas so he would have to deal with it.

Spotting his boyfriend and smiling, Axel walked over and handed him his pop.  
"Thanks. What was Xigbar doing?"  
"Don't worry about it, he's drunk."  
Shooting a glare towards Xigbar, Roxas put his arm around Axel and pulled him closer, looking up at him.  
"What? ... Are my whiskers messed up or something?"  
"Huh? No. I was just looking."  
Raising his eyebrow, Axel looked away and smirked. He knew about Roxas' fetish for animal ears, cat ears to be specific so when he came into contact with the cat costume he couldn't resist, he decided then that he'd go as a cat, while Roxas would go as a dog ... because who doesn't want to see Roxas with floppy ears? Plus, Roxas did the best puppy eyes Axel had ever seen so it fit.

Roxas had no idea he was going to be a cat though, and he had heard Roxas speak to Sora about how he thought Axel was going as a dog catcher or a mail man. Axel came out of the bedroom as Roxas was walking into living room and when Roxas had looked at Axel, his mouth dropped and he banged his shin against the coffee table, tripped, fell onto the couch and fell right onto the floor. Axel wasn't sure when the last time he laughed that hard was, but Roxas was laughing too and it was clear that Roxas liked his outfit.

"Roxas? You're staring again ... And your eyes ..."  
Axel felt a blush creep onto his face as he looked into Roxas very dilated eyes.  
"I think we should find a room."  
Leaning closer to Roxas and smiling, Axel bit his lip and put his arms around Roxas' neck.  
"Oh yeah?"  
"Yeah."  
"Why's that, Rox?"  
"You know the phrase "like a bitch in heat"?"  
Nodding slowly, Axel felt Roxas pull him closer to make his erection clear.  
"Oh."  
"Yeah, "oh" ... So unless you want me to take you right here, I suggest finding us a room."  
Axel knew the house they were in like the back of his hand, and he knew that the bedroom was being occupied by Larxene and Marluxia and really that was the only room with a door ... Well, there was the bathroom, but people would be in and out of there all night, and the idea of fucking in the shower while a bunch of drunk people come in and piss ... not so sexy.

"How can such a big house have a lack of rooms? Fuck."  
Roxas was growing impatient and nipped at Axel's collarbone to let him know. The closet wasn't a good idea either, people kept going in and out of there too ... getting their coats and putting them in, and the roof wasn't any good because they couldn't get up there.  
"Roxas, there isn't anywh- ..."  
Axel blinked and let himself be pulled along by his boyfriend, not really caring where they went just as long as when they got there they'd fuck.

Going outside, Axel gasped and started to shiver. His outfit was meant to be sexy, not warm while Roxas outfit was well, both. Roxas had managed to find an old pair of white jeans that he had spotted black, had spotted a white long-sleeve shirt black, and had spotted his face, his ears and tail were even spotted. Okay, so maybe Roxas' costume wouldn't be classified as "sexy" to most people, but to Axel it was so it was both sexy and warm.

"Roxas, where are we going? It's freezing out here!"  
It was the end of October, Halloween night, and Axel was currently being dragged into ... bushes.  
"Wait, you can't be serious?"  
Sitting down and pulling Axel with him, Roxas smirked and started to unbutton his jeans. Axel knew they were hidden, but they were still very close to the house and the party ... But the fact that they could be caught any second sparked something inside Axel. That spark wasn't enough to keep him warm though.  
"Roxas, it's freezing. Do you really expect me t-oh!"  
Axel bit his lip and looked down at Roxas' hand, which was currently massaging the front of his pants.

"I'll warm you up, just pull your pants down."  
Glancing back at the party and sighing, Axel unbuttoned his pants and pulled the zipper down, gasping as the night air hit his skin.  
"Naughty boy."  
"I had a feeling clothes would have to come off fast, I didn't want to wear anymore than I had to."  
Nodding, Roxas went into his pocket and pulled out a small bottle of lube and a condom. Before Axel could say anything, Roxas squeezed Axel's ass and smiled.  
"I knew as soon as you walked out of the bedroom something was going to happen. I wanted to be prepared in case of an emergency."

Reaching into his pants, Roxas pulled out his erection and shivered as the cold air touched it. Grabbing the condom, Roxas rolled it onto his penis and grabbed the bottle of lube, nodding to Axel to signal him to pull his pants all the way down.  
"Aw, no foreplay?"  
"I'll eat you out for hours tonight if you want, but right now I just really need to be inside you, okay?"  
"I'm going to hold you to that."  
Axel watched as Roxas poured some of the lube onto his hand and began stroking himself. Pulling his pants down to his ankles, Axel moved and sat himself in Roxas' lap, wincing as he felt the rocks and twigs dig into his knees.

Taking his shirt off and then Axel's, Roxas moved him and placed both of their shirts under each knee. Roxas was having trouble concentrating and it seemed his body was doing whatever it pleased. Placing his hands on Axel's hips and kissing beside his nipple, Roxas looked up at Axel and moved one hand to grasp his penis, holding himself steady for Axel.

Sitting down, Axel sighed as he felt Roxas' penis enter him; welcoming the feeling of discomfort and pleasure, he didn't stop going down until he was sat fully on Roxas' lap. Squeezing Axel's hips harder, Roxas tipped his head back and moaned low in his throat, glad to be wrapped in Axel's heat.

Hearing the door slam shut made both Axel and Roxas jump, causing Roxas to hit the bundle of nerves hidden inside Axel's body. Biting back a moan, Axel looked towards the door and gasped as two of the party goers exited the house. Axel heard them talk about the bitch in the front and glanced at Roxas to see what he wanted to do.

Roxas glanced at the two people and shrugged. Sliding his hands onto Axel's ass, Roxas moved him up slightly and pulled him back down, loving the small sound that came out of Axel.  
"It sounds like you're purring."  
Nodding, Axel buried his face in Roxas' neck and purred softly, nipping his way up Roxas' neck and to his earlobe. Placing his hands onto Roxas chest and moving back slightly, Axel lifted himself up slowly and slid back down, making sure to focus on the feel of Roxas' penis sliding back inside him.

Moving his hips to meet Axel, Roxas shut his eyes and smiled at the moans and purrs emitting from his love.  
"Did you hear that?"  
"Hear what?"  
"I dunno, man, sounded like a cat."  
"I didn't hear nothin' ... you're drunk, man."  
Roxas felt Axel's body tense up as the people outside spoke. Opening his eyes, Roxas gripped Axel's hips firmly and moved faster, making Axel gasp and bite down onto his finger to try and muffle his moans.

"So good."  
Burying his face back into Roxas neck, Axel moaned and bite down onto the flesh that was there.  
"Dude, that time I did hear something!"  
"See! Theres like, a cat out here or something."  
"Maybe it's a tiger."  
"You're an idiot."  
Axel felt his orgasm begin to build as he heard the two guys move closer to Roxas' and his hiding spot, but he was too far gone to care. Feeling Roxas' movements become messy and faster, Axel leaned into his ear and purred, making sure to kiss below Roxas' ear.  
"Fuck!"  
Axel moaned as Roxas came, knowing that if their cover wasn't blown before, it was now. Slamming himself down onto Roxas one final time, Axel moaned out his boyfriend's name and came, not caring about the party, the cold, or the two men now looking at them.

Moving closer to Roxas, Axel hid his face so the two men couldn't see him and hoped they wouldn't say anything and just pretend this didn't happen. He was aware that Roxas had removed one of the shirts from under his knee and winced again as a rock dug into it. Feeling his backside being covered by the top, Axel raised his eyebrow and buried his face into Roxas neck, always feeling protected there.

"You guys just going to stare all night or are you going to let us get dressed?"  
"We ... uh, right! Sorry."  
Raising his head slowly and making sure they were gone, Axel bit his lip and looked at Roxas, the hint of a smile on both of their lips.  
"Shit."  
"What?"  
"I thought of something I should have said to you before we had sex."  
"What's that?"  
"Wanna bone?"  
"Oh ... oh, no, Rox."  
Shaking his head and lifting himself off of Roxas, Axel shivered and pulled his pants up and shook off his t-shirt.  
"Do you want to feel my bone?"  
"Oh stop it."  
"What about "You just gave me a bone"?"  
Putting his shirt on and biting his lip to stop smiling, Axel nodded towards the other shirt and wrapped his arms around himself.  
"I'm cold, please stop with the awful jokes and get dressed so we can go home?"  
"Hey, you know how dogs are always at each other's as-"  
"Roxas I am freezing will you just hurry up!"  
Feeling himself blush, Axel looked away and tried to get the image of Roxas between his thighs out of his mind.

Snickering and fixing himself, Roxas tossed the condom into the backyard behind them and shoved the bottle of lube into his pocket. Standing up and taking Axel's hand, Roxas leaned up and kissed Axel's cheek.  
"I bet you're glad we drove here."  
Axel nodded and made his way to the driveway, eager to get inside the car and go home.  
"Hey Axel!"  
"What is it, Xigbar?"  
"So ... I heard you and Roxas' boned."  
"Oh for fuck sake."  
Axel threw his hands up in the air and rushed to the car, ignoring Roxas laughing. Opening the car door for Axel, Roxas winked and barked at Xigbar.  
"Have fun, Xig. Happy Halloween!"  
"You too, Roxas. Tell kitty I said Happy Halloween."

Getting in the car, Roxas smiled over at Axel and winked.  
"He's never going to let go of the fact we just had sex in his bushes, you know."  
Groaning and nodding, Axel looked out the window and waved to his friend, mouthing happy Halloween, and glad to finally be out of the cold and on his way home.  
"So, did you enjoy yourself?"  
Blushing and nodding, Axel looked over at Roxas and smiled.  
"Yeah, did you?"  
"I did."  
"You liked my costume?"  
"I hope you know those ears are coming into the bedroom with us ... And I have a tail attached to a vibrator."  
"Do you really?"  
"Yeah. I bought it to give myself courage to tell you about a fetish I have."  
"Yeah, Sora told me about it."  
"Is ... that why you came as a cat?"  
"Yeah."  
"Naughty boy."  
"You're right. Maybe you should spank me when we get home."  
Roxas felt himself grinning and nodded, knowing their Halloween night was only beginning.


	11. Loser

"Why are you wearing that?"  
"It's warm."  
"Oh. What are you suppose to be?"  
"Gizmo."  
"From ... Gremlins?"  
"Yup."  
"Oh ... okay."  
Axel looked down at his best friend, who was curled up searching for a movie. Sitting beside him, Axel looked at the outfit and raised his eyebrow. He had seen people wear these things around, but not often; he didn't even know if they had an actual name. It wasn't like Axel was judging anyone who wore one, if that was what they liked to wear and they were into it, more power to them, but Axel couldn't and didn't understand it. The outfit made him think of a cage, and Axel hated being caged in anything.

He had heard they were incredibly comfortable though, so he guessed that would explain some of the hype it got. Comfortable clothing was always a good thing ... But again, too much like a cage for Axel. Plus, he would be too embarrassed to wear one anyway. It had always baffled him that people wore them outside.

"What are they called?"  
"Kigurumis."  
"Oh."  
"They're used as pajamas too, you know."  
"Ah. Right, that makes more sense."  
"Don't hate because you're too embarrassed to wear one."  
"I'm not hating."  
"You think it's stupid."  
"Never said that."  
"Thought it."  
"You're a mind reader now?"  
"Everyone else thinks it's stupid."  
"I'm not everyone else, am I?"

Frowning at his friend, Axel wasn't sure why he was getting so defensive. All he wanted to know was why Roxas was wearing it and what it was called. The kigurumi looked like the sort of outfit you'd put on if you were sad, sick or cold and Axel didn't want his friend to be any of those things. It was an innocent question.

"Did something happen?"  
"Does it matter?"  
"Of course."  
"Sure it does."  
"Whatever, Rox."  
Standing up, Axel walked into the hallway and put on his coat, too tired and sore from his day at work to deal with this shit. Steadying himself to put his shoe on, Axel noticed Roxas in the hallway with him.  
"Where are you going?"  
"Home."  
"I thought we were going to watch a movie?"  
"Rain check."  
"When?"  
"Maybe when you stop being a dick?"

Axel knew that was probably harsh, but he didn't like when his friends made him feel like a piece of shit for asking a question, especially when his reasons were out of concern.  
"Do you think I'm a loser?"  
Sighing, Axel looked up and looked at Roxas.  
"Why would I think you're a loser?"  
"Because of the shows I watch?"  
"You mean stuff like Naruto?"  
"Yeah."  
"No ..."  
"And the stuff I read?"  
"No ..."  
"And what about the stuff I wear?"  
"No. What the hell, Roxas? Why are you asking me this?"  
"Someone in class said I was a loser after they noticed the buttons I have on my backpack. They said that since I was in college I should have grown out of such childish shows."

Taking his shoes off again, Axel frowned and took his coat off. So this is why Roxas was so defensive and snappy today, he was being bullied.  
"Roxas ... you watch Naruto, right?"  
"Yeah."  
"Is that really a show suited for children?"  
"Well ... not really. I mean it's anime, but it's pretty bloody."  
"So, it's safe to say that it's probably for pre-teens and up?"  
"Mm, I guess so, yeah."  
"And the other shows you watch, suited for children?"  
"Well, some are because the blood and gore aren't shown or they aren't very detailed."  
"So, it's obvious this person hasn't watched the anime you've watched, or at least watched long enough to actually see what kind of show it is."  
"Well, no. He said that he would never watch it because he was mature."

Putting his arm around Roxas and leading him back, Axel sat on the couch with his friend and pulled him against his side.  
"A mature person wouldn't make fun of someone for the things that bring them happiness, Rox."  
Healing the slight nod, Axel sighed and gave his friend a small squeeze.  
"You're not a loser, Roxas, trust me. If wearing a Gizmo kiga .. kige ..."  
"Kigurumi."  
"If wearing a Gizmo kigurumi makes you comfortable, wear it. If watching anime makes you laugh, watch it. If manga makes you smile, read it. And if someone is calling you a loser for being happy, ignore it. The only opinion you should consider when asking the question "Am I a loser?" is your own and maybe your smart best friend who knows that the person he's looking at right now isn't a loser and the only time he'll ever be a loser is if he listens to those people."

Blinking and not knowing where that speech came from, Axel hugging his friend closer and looked at Netflix, noticing that Roxas was in the middle of a Naruto episode.  
"Let's watch Naruto."  
"You don't know what's going on in it though."  
Shrugging, Axel smiled at his friend.  
"You can explain it to me?"  
"Or we can start from episode one?"  
"How many episodes are there?"  
"A lot ... over 200."  
"Shit."  
Taking the remote from Axel's hand and going to episode one, Roxas smiled at his best friend and wrapped his arms around his neck, smiling.  
"Thank you, Ax."  
"For what?"  
"Saying all of that ... it helped a lot."  
Nodding and kissing Roxas on the forehead, Axel winked and looked at the TV as the show started.  
"I still feel sort of like a loser though, but I'll try to remember what you said."  
"Eh, since I'm watching Naruto now, I guess I'm a loser too. Loser buddies for life?"  
Smiling and leaning against his best friend, Roxas nodded and felt the weight on his chest slowly lift, repeating what Axel had said over and over in his mind until the show started.


	12. Roaming hands

Roxas had just found out that his boyfriend Axel was very, very ticklish so like any good boyfriend Roxas had sat beside him, smiled and accepted the raised eyebrow "What's going to happen?" stare he received, wrapped his arm around Axel's thin body and tickled his ribs without mercy. The squeak that came out of Axel's lips made Roxas grin in satisfaction; Saix hadn't lied about Axel being extremely ticklish.

Curled up and hugging himself, Axel had tried to wiggle away from Roxas, but managed to make things worse. He was now lieing on the couch with Roxas on top of him, tickling not only his ribs, but his neck as well.  
"Roxas! Mercy? Uncle?! Come on-ah!"  
Axel laughed and squeaked again as Roxas managed to turn him onto his stomach, successfully uncurling him from the ball he had formed.  
"Rox-ah!"  
Batting Roxas' hands away from his stomach, Axel laughed harder and tried wiggling away from Roxas, only to have his hips caught and be dragged right back where he was, but he never did get very far anyway, maybe an inch or two away from Roxas' wiggling hands.

Wrapping his arms around Roxas' neck, Axel pulled him closer and kissed him, hoping that the kiss would be enough of a distraction to make a get-away. Feeling Roxas' hands stop and rest on his sides, Axel smiled and nipped at Roxas' bottom lip.  
"That's cheating."  
Nodding, Axel brought Roxas closer to him and kissed him again, deciding that a get-away wasn't what he wanted now. He could feel Roxas' hand moving down his side to the hem of his t-shirt, go under it and slowly go up his sides, but never touching his skin.  
"What are you doing?"  
"Wanting to see something."  
Placing his fingers gently on Axel's side, Roxas trailed them down and watched as his boyfriend shuddered and let out a soft laugh.

Kissing Axel with more passion, Roxas continued to trail his fingertips down Axel's side, enjoying the way his body would twist and turn under him and the small laughs, moans and sighs he was omitting. Moving his hands lower, Roxas placed his fingers on Axel's jean covered thighs and said a silent thank you that he had decided to wear skinny jeans. Raking his nails along Axel's thighs, Roxas watched as his boyfriend shivered and tightened his grip around his neck, pulling Roxas very close.

Axel shut his eyes and felt Roxas' tongue press against his lips, asking for access into his mouth. Parting his lips and opening his mouth slightly, Axel granted Roxas' tongue access and hummed happily at the taste of sea salt ice cream; a flavor that always reminded him of Roxas no matter what.

Axel heard and felt the moan that Roxas had let out and hummed in response, letting Roxas know he was enjoying himself. Moving back slightly, Roxas looked at Axel's full lips and smiled.  
"You always taste like cinnamon."  
"Really? ... You taste like sea salt ice cream."  
"All the time?"  
"Yeah."  
Leaning up and capturing Roxas' lips once more, Axel kissed his boyfriend and smiled, still fully away Roxas' hands and how they were still tickling his thighs.  
"You know, Sora told me something when you were out with Saix."  
"What's that?"  
"That you're ticklish."

Roxas could only gasp as he was pinned under Axel and had Axel's hands tickling his ribs.  
"Axel! Uncle! Mercy! Don't do this to me!"  
Laughing at the small whine in Roxas voice, Axel leaned down and kissed his boyfriend, still tickling his ribs.  
"Pay back sucks, love."


	13. Stress and Ice Cream

Axel knew his boyfriend was going through a rough time with school and had been stressed out to the point of actually ripping some of his hair out. It wasn't much, just a few strands, but it was enough to worry Axel.

Which is why Axel was two hours away from their house in a massive grocery store. This place was the only store that sold what he was looking for and he knew that it was Roxas' favourite thing; food wise anyway.

The only problem was that Axel hadn't been in this store for two months and they had moved everything around. Axel had managed to go in a complete circle without even realizing it, but still couldn't find the frozen section, and he couldn't find anyone to help him.

Axel had been out of the house for three and a half hours already looking for this stuff and it worried him that he would take a couple more hours just to get home. He was thankful it was cold outside and he took his motorcycle out here, melted ice cream wouldn't work at all.

Finally seeing a large sign that read "ICE CREAM," Axel walked towards it and looked inside. What form should he get it in? He knew that Roxas loved the popsicle form but the standard form was good too; you could even add whatever you wanted.

Deciding that both would be good, Axel picked up a box of 12 and a medium sized tub of the sea salt ice cream. Looking around the store, he managed to find the check-out faster than expected. Paying and walking back to his motorcycle, Axel opened his motorcycle bag and placed his purchase inside.

The ride home was uneventful and Axel had managed to get home without hitting a ton of red lights, and since it was later in the evening the traffic wasn't so bad; he made it back to the house in an hour and five minutes; a new record.

Hopping off his bike and taking the ice cream out of the motorcycle bag, Axel sighed in relief as he felt the ice cream still frozen. Rushing into the house Axel entered the kitchen and rushed to the freezer, putting the ice cream away fast so Roxas wouldn't see.

"Roxas? You home?"  
"In here."  
Following the sound of Roxas' voice, Axel entered the bedroom and frowned at his lover.  
"You okay?"  
"Pretty sure I'm going crazy."  
"You're not going crazy, Rox."  
"You'd know this how?"  
"Because you think you're going crazy."  
Exiting the bedroom and walking back to the freezer, Axel opened the box of 12 and took one out, deciding that Roxas needed one ASAP.

"Where did you go?"  
"Getting something."  
Entering the bedroom again, Axel sat beside Roxas and smiled down at him. Holding out the bar, he watched as Roxas' eye lit up at the sight of the frozen treat in front of him.  
"You went to So Fresh?"  
Nodding, Axel handed him the ice cream and moved to lie beside him.  
"I figured you could use a treat."  
"Thank you!"  
Axel smiled and laid his head back on the pillow, watching as Roxas opened the ice cream and began sucking on the tip.

Averting his eyes and looking at the door, Axel shifted and wondered why he decided to stay when he knew Roxas had a very sexual way of eating the ice cream; he even moaned.  
"You okay, Ax?"  
"Fine."  
"You're blushing though."  
"Am I?"  
"Yeah."  
"Must be the light."  
"Uh-huh."  
Leaning over, Roxas smiled and kissed Axel on the lips, letting the taste of sea salt ice cream mingle with Axel's cinnamon taste.

Axel blinked, but kissed back. It had been two weeks since they had done anything sexual and Axel could tell by the feeling of the kiss and the air in the room that this kiss was indeed sexual. Lifting his arm, Axel placed his hand on the side of Roxas face and shut his eyes, realizing how badly he had missed this kind of kiss.

Lifting Axel's t-shirt up above his nipples, Roxas smiled and rubbed the tip along Axel's nipples, grinning at the gasp and shiver he received. Leaning down and licking the sweet and salty taste off of Axel's skin, he smiled and slid the bar down the middle of Axel's body, stopping only when he got to his happy trail.

Following the trail the ice cream left behind with his tongue, Roxas smiled as he got to the end and began to unbutton Axel's jeans. Looking up, Roxas smirked up at his boyfriend, glad that these simple actions could make his eyes dilate and his cheeks turn red.

Pulling the zipper down and opening the front of his jeans, Roxas kissed above the waistband of Axel's boxers and watched as Axel bit his lip and shuddered. Acting fast, Roxas pulled Axel's jeans and boxers off in one movement and laughed at the surprised yelp that came out of his boyfriend.

Placing the bar on Axel's thighs, Roxas kissed the tip of his penis.  
"Top or bottom, babe?"  
"Don't care."  
Licking the ice cream up from his thigh, Roxas hummed against Axel's penis and thought about what he felt like more. Spreading Axel's legs and sliding the ice cream lower, Roxas brushed the tip against Axel's hole and slid his tongue right beside it, tasting the ice cream and cinnamon all at once.

Reaching between his legs and gasping, Axel placed his hand on Roxas' head and felt his toes curl, enjoying the mixture of hot and cold and the feeling of Roxas humming against him.  
"Rox ..."  
"Mm?"  
"Ah ..."  
Arching his back and pressing against Roxas, Axel shut his eyes and moaned; not bothering to silence himself. Axel gasped as he felt Roxas' tongue enter him. Not wanting to end this, but knowing he had to, Axel groaned and moved away from Roxas.

"Huh?"  
Looking down, Axel noticed the popsicle stick and lack of ice cream and blushed.  
"Your turn."  
Moving so Roxas was on his back, Axel moved between Roxas' legs and kissed along his thigh up to his penis. Axel smiled as he licked from the base of Roxas to the tip, making Roxas' penis into his own popsicle.

Taking Roxas' tip into his mouth, Axel hummed in satisfaction and shut his eyes; content with the weight on his tongue and the taste of sea salt there as well. Feeling hands in his hair, Axel glanced up and winked at his boyfriend, letting his mouth slide further down onto his erection, Axel let Roxas guide his head by his hair.

Axel glanced up at Roxas and watched as his eyes seemed to get darker. Axel knew that his messy hair always turned Roxas on, and the sight of tears in his eye due to Roxas thrusting in and out of his mouth probably added to Roxas' arousal. Yelping as Roxas pulled Axel off of him by his hair, he let himself be dragged up onto the bed and shoved onto his back.

Watching as Roxas got between his legs, Axel blinked and looked down; wondering when Roxas had grabbed lube and a condom, but glad that Roxas wasn't so consumed with lust that he forgot and was still thinking of Axel's comfort. Feeling Roxas' tip against his hole, Axel wrapped his legs around Roxas and pulled him closer, moaning as he felt his boyfriend enter him.

Sliding all the way in and stopping, Roxas shut his eyes and tried to calm down, hating how he felt himself losing control.  
"Ax, I'm really not sure if I can be gentle tonight."  
Rocking his hips and moaning, Axel rolled his eyes and leaned up to kiss Roxas' lips.  
"You don't have to be, I'm fine."  
Biting his lip and looking down at Axel, Roxas raised his eyebrow and sighed.  
"I might really hurt you."  
"You won't"  
"But I mi-"  
"For fuck sake, Roxas! Would you just fuck me already and stop being such a bitch about it?"

Leaning down and nipping Axel's collarbone, Roxas placed his hands on Axel's hips and straightened up.  
"You remember our safe-word, right?"  
Roxas smirked as Axel narrowed his eyes.  
"I'll take that as a yes."  
Moving his hips back slowly, Roxas winked at his boyfriend and thrust in, grinning at the moan that was forced out of Axel's mouth.

Axel moaned as Roxas leaned over him, glad that he had finally let go of himself. Gripping onto Roxas' arms so he wouldn't be thrust off the bed, Axel slid one hand down to his own penis and began to stroke himself.

Feeling himself tense up, Roxas joined Axel's hand and began to stroke Axel in time with his thrusts, smiling at how vocal Axel was being. Kissing along Axel's neck, Roxas stroked Axel faster; wanting him to cum first.

Pulling Roxas closer, Axel cried out his boyfriend's name as his back arched and stars exploded in front of his eyes. Rocking his hips and riding out his orgasm, Axel smiled as he heard his name being called out and felt Roxas' thrusting become faster and lose rhythm.

Suddenly very exhausted, Roxas groaned and withdrew himself out of Axel, frowning at the whimper he received. Placing his hand against Axel's hole, Roxas fell beside him and buried his face in the pillow, exhausted and finally relaxed.

"You okay?"  
Nodding, Roxas brought Axel closer to him and smiled lazily at him.  
"I'm better than okay."  
Axel turned on to his side and smiled, glad that he could help.  
"Not so stressed anymore?"  
"Mm, nope."  
"I bought more ice cream ... there's 11 left and some of the standard stuff."  
Glancing at the door to the bedroom, Roxas contemplated getting up and grabbing a bowl of ice cream, but decided against it, perfectly content with lying beside Axel.


	14. Thanks Vexen

AN: This story contains sex and gender swapping.

* * *

How Roxas and Axel became friends with Vexen was beyond anyone's comprehension, but the three seemed to have a normal friendship. Vexen would never use any of his odd potions on Axel or Roxas, he'd never try to bring them into an experiment, he wouldn't do anything that could harm the two because they were his friends, and friends for Vexen are incredibly hard to come by.

But there are some tricks that are just to good too pass up, which is why Vexen had invited the pair over for a movie marathon. Neither of them thought anything of it; movie marathons weren't unusual for the three.

Vexen had spent a full two hours planning and weighing the pro's and con's of this potion and who to use it on, but in the end decided that Roxas would be the one to get the potion. Hearing the knock on the door, Vexen invited the pair in and asked if they wanted something to drink, hoping that at least Roxas would want one. Vexen vanished into the kitchen before Roxas or Axel could finish their "sure".

Axel tilted his head and glanced at Roxas.  
"Vexen is rather excited tonight."  
"Well, we haven't spoken to him for a week ... you know we're his only friends."  
"Yeah but ... I don't know."  
Frowning, Axel sat on the couch and patted the seat beside him, hoping his boyfriend would take it.  
"I just feel like something is off, you know?"  
Sitting beside Axel, Roxas snickered and shook his head.  
"You're being paranoid."  
"I suppose."  
"You are."  
"Did you guys want ice in your iced tea?"  
"Sure!"

Vexen came back carrying a small tray that held the iced tea and popcorn.  
"I picked out Paranormal Activity ... is that cool?"  
Thanking Vexen and nodding, Axel and Roxas took their glasses and watched Vexen set the movie up. Neither of them asked what Vexen was working on, they found it was in the friendships best interest to never know what Vexen was up to.

Sitting back down and glancing at Roxas, Vexen pressed play and grinned as Roxas took a long drink of his iced tea.  
"Axel, are you bisexual?"  
"Uhm ... not exactly. I'm pansexual."  
"Oh. You learn something new every day. I'm straight."  
Raising an eyebrow and nodding, Axel glanced at Roxas who only shrugged. The room fell quiet as the movie began.

* * *

Thanking Vexen for the lovely night and getting in their car, Roxas turned the car on and began their drive home.  
"Are you still being paranoid?"  
"Something was off!"  
"Nothing was off."  
"Roxas, seriously, you didn't find anything odd?"  
"No."  
"But the atmosphere of the room ..."  
"That's it, no more horror movies for you."  
"What!? I was like this before the movie, Rox!"  
"Yeah, yeah."  
Parking the car and stepping out, Roxas and Axel walked up to their front door and entered, Axel still frowning in thought.

"I don't know why, but I'm really tired all of a sudden."  
Looking alarmed, Axel looked Roxas over and frowned. Something was wrong.  
"Don't even start with me, Ax, nothing was weird. I've been up since six in the morning and it's 10 at night now, I'm going to be tired. I'm also going to bed."  
Leaning up and kissing his boyfriend on the cheek, Roxas retired to their bedroom and got ready for bed, all while Axel stood in the hall and shook his head, still not able to shake the odd feeling in his gut.

Walking to their bedroom 30 minutes after Roxas, Axel could barely keep his eyes opened. Not bothering to shower or fully undress, he took his t-shirt off and crawled under the blankets, cuddling up to his sleeping boyfriend. Axel's last thought was how Roxas' skin felt a lot softer.

* * *

Opening his eyes, Axel blinked and looked at the back of the blond's head. The blond with longer hair than usual. Slowly sitting up, Axel turned Roxas onto his back and screamed. Moving backwards to get away from the stranger in his bed, Axel fell off the bed and stared up at the ceiling trying to gather his thoughts.

"Axel! Wha ... Axel? Are you okay?"  
Sitting up and looking down at his boyfriend, Roxas tilted his head and blinked.  
"Look down."  
Looking down, Roxas felt his eyes go wide as his chest didn't have the flat surface anymore.  
"I ... have breasts."  
"... Prove to me this is Roxas."  
"When we were sixteen you told me you still listened to the Spic-"  
"STOP! ... It really is you. I tol-"  
"STOP! Don't. Do not say those words."  
"D you so."  
Glaring and looking down at Axel, Roxas stood up and walked over to the body length mirror.

"I didn't think it was possible for you to get any shorter."  
"Okay, one: I'm five foot six. That isn't short, and two: You're six foot one; that's above average."  
"Now you're like, five foot one. I could squish you."  
Rolling his eyes, Roxas frowned and removed his night shirt that had turned into a nightie on his smaller frame.  
"I look ..."  
Roxas couldn't think of the word. He wasn't used to being in a females body, and while he had no problem with the anatomy of a female that whole thing was a bit awkward.

"Amazing."  
Looking at Axel, Roxas blushed at the look he was receiving from Axel.  
"Amazing?"  
"Yeah. ...Oh! This must have been why Vexen wanted to know my sexuality."  
"You just figured that out now?"  
"I was a bit preoccupied."  
"Uh-huh. So ... you think I look amazing?"  
Nodding, Axel stood up and walked over to Roxas, snickering as he looked down at his boyfriend.  
"You didn't change much, really. Your hair got a bit longer, but not by much ... And your face features are softer ... and your shoulders ... And your curves are more defined and your chest well ..."  
Clearing his throat and looking up and out of the window, Axel felt the familiar pull in his stomach.  
"Is that why you're hard?"

Looking down again, but towards his own body, Axel rolled his eyes.  
"You've had a penis for 21 years, Roxas, you know what happens when you wake up."  
Muttering and walking to the bathroom, Axel shut the door and was glad to be out of Roxas' sight, and was extra glad that morning wood happened and he could use that as an excuse for his situation.

"I'm going to call Vexen and see when this wears off ... if it wears off ... he couldn't put me this way permanently, right?"  
"Doubt it."  
"Axel ... why are you both so calm about this?"  
"It was bound to happy sooner or later."  
Dialing Vexen's number and shrugging, Roxas waited until he heard the phone pick up and a sleepy "Yeah?" from the other end.  
"What did you do?"  
"Who's this?"  
"Who do you think it is?"  
"Look, Larxene, I already told you I don't have anything that can kill someone ... wait, Roxas?"  
"... Who does Larxene want to kill?"  
"Not important. It worked!?"  
"Of course it worked! What did you do?"

Listening to Vexen explain that he had slipped a tiny amount of gender switching formula into Roxas' iced tea, Roxas sighed and glanced at the bathroom door.  
"Axel would you stop masturbating and come out here!"  
"I'm in the shower!"  
"I know where you are and I know what you're doing! Come out here so you can hear Vexen's explanation!"  
"Blah, blah, science, blah, blah, testing, blah, blah, eureka I'm a genius blah!"  
"Smartass. Fine. So you did this to test what exactly?"  
"Well, I know it would work, but I wanted to see if just a tiny drop would work. The amount I gave you is only good for a day, but you will have to sleep. So if you sleep at seven, you will wake up with a penis. If you sleep at midnight, you will wake up with a penis. But! If you drink about half a cup of this stuff there is no turning back! Roxas, don't you see what I've done!? Surgeries won't be necessary anymore!"

Looking into the mirror and smiling, Roxas nodded and was glad that Vexen had finally created something good.  
"That's really great, Vexen, and this is only for the day?"  
"Yes."  
"Will you ask us next time, please?"  
"I suppose I will, yes. I do not wish to end my friendship with you or Axel."  
"Thank you. ... So ... this body ..."  
"Everything works."  
"Everything?"  
"Yes."  
"Okay, so, let's say Axel and I ... you know ... what happens if I get pregnant?"  
"Wear a condom."  
"But what happens if ..."  
"You stay a female for nine months."  
"Oh."  
"Wear a condom."  
"Got it."  
"I have to go now, Roxas. Enjoy yourself."  
"I will. Have a good day, Vexen."  
"You too, Roxas."

Hanging up the phone, Roxas blinked at it and sighed. People who wanted to physically be another gender won't have to go through surgeries anymore ... And that was a really, really great thing. So great that Roxas couldn't be mad at Vexen for playing a trick on him. Plus, it was for one day ... he could do a lot in one day, but he knew today would probably be spent in the bedroom with his boyfriend.  
"... Dammit, Axel!"  
Going to the bathroom and opening the door, Roxas bit his lip and looked Axel up and down.  
"I told you I was in the shower, Rox. ... Eh, why the stare?"  
"I always did enjoy watching you dry yourself ... especially your hair."  
Blinking and glancing at the towel that was currently drying his hair, Axel stopped and smirked.  
"So, do you change back?"  
"Yeah, after I go to sleep and wake up."  
"So ..."  
"So?"  
"Sex?"

Gasping and putting a hand over his heart, Roxas leaned against the door frame and batted his eyelashes.  
"How can I say no? You've charmed me, sir! Your way with words has captiv-eh!?"  
Laughing and wrapping his arms around Axel's neck, Roxas allowed himself to be carried back to the bed.  
"Wait .. am I a virgin again?"

Placing Roxas onto the bed and kneeling on the floor, Axel placed his hands on Roxas' hips and shook his head.  
"Not really. You just haven't had that kind of sex yet."  
"I want to though."  
"Well we don't have to rush, I'm pretty sure Vexen would be willing to give you another drop."  
"I want to do everything today though."  
"As long as you're sure."

Nodding, Roxas guided Axel's hand onto his chest and placed it on his breast, not understanding why he wasn't feeling any pleasure. Axel snickered and shook his head, cupping Roxas' breast, he leaned up and placed a kiss beside Roxas' nipple.  
"Lean back?"  
Doing as instructed, Roxas moved so he was lying down and shut his eyes, focusing on the feeling of Axel's lips and hands.

Sliding down Roxas' body, Axel spread his legs and smiled. Wetting his fingers and tracing the outside of Roxas' vagina, Axel looked up and listened to Roxas' breath hitch.  
"You're very pretty down here."  
Putting a hand over his face, Roxas hid his blushing cheeks and smiled, glad that Axel found that part of him appealing.  
"I wonder if you taste as sweet as you look."  
Leaning forward and flicking his tongue out, Axel licked Roxas clit and waited for Roxas' reaction.

Feeling Roxas' legs come closer together, Axel smiled and took that as a good sign. Wrapping his lips around Roxas' clit, he began to suck gently and hum against Roxas, loving the moans he was receiving and the taste of Roxas.  
"Ah, Axel!"  
Roxas leaned up and put his hand on Axel's head. Wrapping his fingers in Axel's hair and tugging, Roxas' let his head fall back and moan at the feeling between his legs.

Roxas wasn't sure how long Axel was between his legs sucking, nipping and kissing, but he knew that he wanted more. Moving his lower body around, Roxas hoped that Axel would get the point and give him what he wanted.  
"Impatient?"  
"You've been down there for an hour or something."  
"About six minutes."  
"That's an odd number to come up with."  
"Mm, number talk. Sexy."  
Tugging Axel's hair, Roxas rolled his eyes and leaned up, watching Axel's every move.

Wetting his finger and tracing Roxas' lower lips, Axel leaned in again and placed a kiss on Roxas' clit, groaning at the tug his hair received. Sliding his finger to Roxas' opening, Axel slid his finger inside and gasped at how wet Roxas was. Moving his tongue beside his finger, Axel licked up the wetness that came out of Roxas, shivering at how sweet he tasted.

Relaxing the grip he had on Axel's hair, Roxas looked up at the ceiling and focused on the feeling.  
"Am I broken?"  
"Eh?"  
Axel stopped and looked up at Roxas, confusion written on his face.  
"I'm not moaning like the women in the pornos and I don't even feel like it. I know you're not bad at sex so I must be broken."  
Frowning, Roxas leaned up and looked down at Axel, feeling embarrassed and sad that Vexen's potion might not work in all the ways he had hoped and planned.  
"Roxas, the women usually exaggerate. Plus, my fingers aren't exactly good for this type of thing ... too thin. But ..."  
Adding another finger, Axel turned his hand so his palm was facing up and used the "come here" motion inside Roxas, smiling at the moan Roxas let out.  
"Still think you're broken?"

Shaking his head and resting his legs on Axel's shoulders, Roxas squeezed his eyes shut and smiled, enjoying the feel of whatever Axel was doing. He knew it had something to do with his "g-spot" but really that was all that he knew and he only knew that because his friends kept talking about it and how hard it was to find.

Moving himself into a half-sitting position, Roxas put his hand on Axel's and smiled down at him, wanting Axel to come up and kiss him. Catching on quickly, Axel removed his fingers and kissed Roxas' opening and clit goodbye. Kissing his way up Roxas' body, Axel moved them so he was between Roxas' legs and they were on the bed fully.

"Enjoying yourself so far?"  
Nodding and kissing Axel, Roxas shut his eyes against and rocked his hips so Axel's erection came into contact with his vagina; slick with his wetness and Axel's saliva.

Reaching over into the night stand and taking out a condom, Axel opened it up and rolled it onto himself, never breaking the kiss, but deepening it. Guiding his penis to Roxas' opening, Axel placed a hand onto Roxas' hip and moved back from the kiss to look into Roxas' eyes. Pressing in, Axel shuddered and felt himself be pulled into Roxas' tight heat.

Groaning and wrapping his legs around Axel's waist, Roxas shut his eyes and let out a sort of hiss sound, not from pain exactly, but from the odd stretching sensation he had never felt before. Axel placed a kiss beside Roxas' lips and shut his eyes, moaning only when he was fully inside Roxas.

"You fit perfectly."  
Axel nodded and raised his head. Pulling back slightly and pushing in, Axel washed as Roxas' body arched and he let out a long moan.  
"I take it you enjoy that?"  
"Do it again."  
Axel smirked and pulled back again and pushed in a little bit faster. He repeated this process until Roxas was clawing at his back and moaning "harder" over and over again and Axel had forgotten his own name.

Moving his hand down to Roxas' clit, Axel rubbed his thumb over it and listened to Roxas' moans grow louder and louder. Feeling the legs around his waist tighten, Axel knew Roxas was approaching orgasm. Leaning down and kissing Roxas' nipple, Axel hummed and sped up, begging Roxas to cum all over his dick.

Shoving his hands into Axel's hair and pulled him down, Roxas crashed his lips against his boyfriends and moaned into the kiss, feeling his body tense and finally release. Roxas focused on his boyfriend's thrusting, the way his body felt good all over and the way his lower areas seemed to be pulsating.

Axel had forgotten his name and was now only interested in the muscles around his penis spasming and the body under him moaning his name. Axel had forgotten his own name, but had managed to remember the name of the body below him, and he called that name out as he came.

Panting and leaning his forehead against Roxas' shoulder, Axel finally shut his eyes and tried to compose himself.  
"Axel."  
"What?"  
"My name ... it's Axel."  
"... Yes."  
Lifting his head up and blushing, Axel removed himself from Roxas and took the condom off, tossing it into the waste basket.  
"I forgot my name for a second."  
Smiling and pulling Axel down beside him, Roxas cuddled closer and draped his arm over Axel.  
"Is this the first time?"  
Roxas tried to hide the fear in his voice. The thought that being a female made Axel forget his name and but him being a male didn't ... it scared him.  
"No. It usually happens, but I never say it out loud."

Sighing in relief, Roxas cuddled closer and smirked.  
"I think I'll have to ask Vexen for some of that formula."  
"Oh yeah? For what?"  
"I want to see how a certain redhead looks with boobs."  
"I'll still be taller than you."  
Rolling his eyes, Roxas smiled and felt sleep take over. It wasn't seven yet, not even close, so perhaps when he woke up he could go freak out his friends. Plus, he had to stop by Vexen's lab and pick up a few things, namely a gender swapping potion and for when Axel was back to himself; a potion that made him shorter, or a potion that made Roxas taller.


	15. The Bet

"You lost the bet, you know the rules! Your outfit is on the bed."  
Roxas groaned as he headed towards their bedroom. Giving one last pleading look to Axel, Roxas entered their room and felt his cheeks go red.  
"Are you serious?!"  
Walking over to the bed, Roxas picked up the off-black Lolita dress and held it away from him - looking the dress over. Putting it back down and glancing at the accessorise laid out, Roxas sighed and began to undress, cursing himself for making such a silly bet with his boyfriend.

"Almost done in there?"  
Glaring at the door and snapping the clip-bow onto his hair, Roxas stood and almost toppled over - not experienced in walking with heels. Looking into their body length mirror, Roxas groaned loudly and knew Axel would have a blast with this. He was dressed in the off-black Lolita dress, black high heels that sort of looked like school girl heels, stockings, a pair of black lace gloves, a black lace collar and to top it all off a black bow sat on top of his head. Roxas huffed and stood in front of the door leading to his doom.

"Shut your eyes."  
"What?!"  
"Shut your eyes!"  
"I'm shutting them for five seconds. One ..."  
Opening the door and stepping out, Roxas glanced around and felt the urge to kick Axel in the shin rise. The loser of the bet had to clean the house in any style of clothing the other wished, but when Roxas went into the bedroom the house wasn't messy ... But it seemed Axel had been busy taking things out and putting items in the wrong spot.  
"Did you do that on purpose?"  
"Yeah."

Opening his eyes, Axel's eyebrows shot up as he looked at Roxas. His hunch was correct; Roxas looked adorable in Lolita dresses.  
"Aww Roxas! You look so cute!"  
Tossing Roxas a feather duster, Axel sat himself on the couch and smirked at his boyfriend. Not only did he win the beat fairly, but he was also getting payback from the time Roxas had made him wear a short skirt and half-shirt to the corner store. In heels!

Roxas caught the feather duster and shot Axel what he hoped to be a death glare. It earned him a laugh and a wink. He suspected that Axel knew he wasn't actually mad. They had been together for way too long to get mad at something this simple and well, fun. Roxas didn't make it a habit to dress like this, but it was fun when he did, plus, Axel dressed up for him too. It was one of their things.

Walking over to the DVD section, Roxas bent down and began picking up the DVDs Axel had scattered across the floor.  
"Oh ... when did we get Over the Hedge?"  
"Uhm, like a year ago?"  
"Can we watch it when I'm done?"  
"If you're good."  
Tossing the DVD at Axel, Roxas laughed as Axel squeaked and hid his face.  
"What else did you mess up?"

Nodding towards the jackets in the hallway, Axel smirked and set the DVD onto the coffee table. He didn't make that big a mess really, just things taken from their original place and set down on a table or counter. It wasn't like he messed up the dishes or anything major ... although he did put a cup in the sink, but that was only because the sink was empty.

Axel watched as Roxas' dress moved up as he bent over, exposing more of his legs in the process. Shifting on the couch, Axel adjusted his shorts and hoped Roxas wouldn't notice his erection. Sighing and knowing Roxas would spot his situation the moment he came into the living room, Axel stood up and walked into the kitchen, deciding that it would be better if he did the lone cup.

"Axel? Where did you go?"  
"Kitchen."  
Smirking to himself, Roxas hurried and tidied the living room, mildly surprised at how little the mess actually was. When he first came out it looked like it would take him an hour, but the clock showed that it had taken him 15 minutes. Fixing his bow, Roxas entered their kitchen and grinned.

Axel had been reaching up to put the cup away. Not only did this position give Roxas a nice view of Axel's skin, but it also showed that Axel liked his outfit. Leaning against the fridge, Roxas raised his eyebrow and watched Axel.  
"... What?"  
"Nothin'."  
Axel looked at Roxas and blushed at the look Roxas was giving him.

"What?"  
"Nothing!"  
"Liar."  
Closing the gap between him and Axel, Roxas grinned and put his hand over the front of Axel's shorts.  
"What do we have here?"  
Blushing and shifting, Axel muttered out something that sounded to Roxas like a different language.  
"I bet I can get you off without touching your penis."  
"Didn't we just have that bet? You lost ... remember?"  
"No ... you bet that you could get me off only by your hands."  
"And I did."  
"I consider handjobs cheating. So, no touching your penis. Do we have a bet?"  
"What do you get if you lose?"  
"You have to ... give me a lap dance. ... Wearing an outfit I'll choose later."

Biting his lip, Axel took Roxas hand off of the front of his shorts and nodded.  
"Sure. It's a bet."  
Roxas grinned as he grabbed Axel's hand and led him to the bedroom. The bet was on.


	16. Monday Morning

It was Monday morning and you could hear birds chirping, you could see the light breeze blowing the leaves around, if you took a deep breath you could smell the aroma of freshly brewed coffee. The sun was shining into a medium-sized apartment that also had the aroma of fresh coffee, but with bacon to top it off with. The window was opened letting the breeze blow the curtains around and the sound of the morning news came into the bedroom ... And you could also see a hand shooting out from under the covers in and pushing the alarm clock onto the floor, followed by a loud "Dammit".

"Morning, babe!"  
Axel groaned as he snuggled deeper into the bed. He wasn't a morning person. Actually, Axel wasn't really an any time person on the weekdays. Monday through Friday Axel wasn't a seven to five person, but after five his mood lifted, and on weekends he was much happier to wake up ... although he normally woke up in the afternoon.

Axel lifted his head and listened to his boyfriend humming. How that man could be so cheerful in the morning was beyond Axel, but he was thankful for it. Sliding himself closer to the edge, Axel moved and sat up.  
"Are you up?"  
"Yeah, yeah, I'm up."  
"Up as in out of bed."  
Yawning, Axel stood up from the bed and stretched, groaning at the feeling.  
"Yeah, I'm out of bed."  
Shuffling his way into the bathroom to empty his bladder, Axel sighed. It was Monday, and that meant he'd be doing this routine four more times.

Turning the shower on and taking his pajama bottoms off, Axel stepped into the warm water and looked at his feet, contemplating calling in sick to work. It was like a tradition. Every morning he'd stare at some part of his body and contemplate calling work and telling them he was sick and couldn't make it ... he never did it, but it was a nice thought.

* * *

Roxas laughed to himself and entered the bedroom. Leaning down and picking up the alarm clock and it's batteries, Roxas set it back onto the bedside table and knocked on the bathroom door.  
"It's 8:15!"  
Going over to their closet, Roxas opened it and took out his outfit for the day. His classes didn't start until one that afternoon, but he had a few things to do and pick up before then so he was going to catch a ride with Axel.

Roxas never really understood how people could be anything but cheerful in the morning. The minute he opened his eyes a smile would come to his face. He'd hop out of bed, go into the kitchen, flick on the coffee pot and head to the bathroom where he'd brush his teeth and shower while the coffee brewed. The minute he'd step out of the bathroom he'd smell the coffee and smile even bigger. Mornings were Roxas favourite, especially spring mornings.

Roxas finished getting dressed and walked back into the kitchen. Picking his coffee up, Roxas looked at the television.  
"It's 8:28!"

It was the same every morning. After his shower he'd come back into the kitchen and make himself his coffee - one creamer and three sugars, pop in some bread and then he'd sit and watch the morning news to see if any roads were blocked off and if anything was happening while he ate his toast. He'd wait until he heard the familiar beeping of the alarm clock followed by a crash and some sort of curse word.

After the curse word, he'd make sure Axel was actually up and in the shower before he went into their bedroom and got dressed. He'd always knock on the bathroom door and tell Axel the time, knowing that Axel had a tendency to rest his head against the tile and shut his eyes- probably thinking about all the things he didn't want to do. Roxas didn't understand it, but he found it rather cute.

After that, he'd exit the bedroom and turn on cartoons and watch Spongebob until Axel came out. He'd always grin, kiss him and hand him a piece of toast. Most of his classes didn't start until the afternoon, but Roxas made sure he was awake before Axel, or he'd wake up at the same time, feeling that sleeping in until noon wouldn't be fair to Axel. That was saved for the weekends.

Shaking his head and smiling, Roxas looked to the bedroom door as it opened and watched as his boyfriend stepped out and walked to where he was sitting. Standing up, Roxas kissed Axel and handed him a piece of toast.  
"Morning."  
"Mhm."  
Sitting back down with Axel beside him, Roxas watched Spongebob and glanced at Axel, who was in the middle of yawning.  
"You're a cute morning person."

* * *

Looking up from his toast, Axel blinked at Roxas and raised his eyebrow. Standing up and getting himself a coffee, Axel shook his head and sat back down beside Roxas.

"You're a ... cheerful morning person. How?"  
"Well, every day I get to wake up, which is awesome, and on top of that I get to wake up to you sleeping, which is even better."  
Glancing at the sugar, Axel blinked and sipped his coffee.  
"No sugar today?"  
"Yeah right. If I added sugar on top of what you just said I'd end up with diabetes."  
Axel smiled and leaned over to kiss Roxas, thankful that he had something to get out of bed for.


	17. Broken

AN: I'm not sure if this needs a warning or not. It deals with depression so if that's a sensitive topic for you, don't read this chapter.

* * *

People explain depression in many ways. Chemical imbalance, the brain not working right, lacking vitamins, lack of sunlight. Logical reasons why depression happens, but not what it is really. If you sit down with someone who suffers from depression and ask "What is depression?" you'll get varied answers, but they'll all spell out the same thing: depression is hell.

Depression also hits differently. Some people will spend hours crying for reasons they don't know, others can't - not won't, can't get out of bed. Everyone will have their own battles and their ways to deal with it, whether it be crying, self harm, or sleeping, but it's the same. The red-eyed, tear stained person will look at the other's scars and know. The scarred person will look at the eyes of the one who didn't want to get out of bed and know. They'll know, and they'll offer a sad, sad smile that tells the other person that they get it; that they understand the pain ... And even though that person has knowledge they aren't alone in their suffering, they still feel like they are, and the cycle continues.

Depression doesn't only hurt those who suffer though. It hurts the people around. Seeing your boyfriend or girlfriend hate themselves so much, or be in so much pain that they hurt themselves is the closest thing to hell any living person can get. Add on the feeling they get when their love is still hurting regardless of what they do ... it's hard, and it hurts. If love isn't enough to conquer depression, what is?

* * *

"Movie?"  
"No..."  
"Dinner?"  
"No..."  
"Game?"  
Axel sighed and glanced at his boyfriend. He knew Roxas was trying to be helpful, but it wasn't working and it was starting to make things a lot worse. What kind of boyfriend was he if he didn't want to do anything with Roxas? A shitty one, that's what kind.

They have had this conversation many times. Axel would sit on the couch with Roxas and pretend to be fine, but Roxas would catch on and start asking Axel what he wanted to do. When Axel replied with "nothing" Roxas would start suggesting things, and Axel would always reply with "no." In the end the conversation left both Axel and Roxas feeling like shitty boyfriends.

"I love you."  
"I know you do."  
Looking at Roxas, Axel sighed again and took the small man's hand into his own. He knew Roxas blamed himself for not being able to help him, and often times would lock himself in the bathroom and cry. He told Axel he was washing his face, but Axel had seen tear streaked cheeks way too many times to be fooled by such an excuse.

"I love you too."  
"I know."  
"Please don't blame yourself."  
"I don't."  
"You do."  
Silence fell over them again as they both looked away. Not sure what to say or if anything really had to be said, Axel and Roxas watched as the television program ended and a commercial for a sleep aid came on.

"That's a good idea."  
Taking his hand away from Roxas', Axel leaned over and kissed his cheek.  
"I'm going to sleep."  
Standing from the couch, he made his way to their bedroom and collapsed onto the bed. He didn't bother turning the lights on or removing his jeans. Little things like that really didn't matter. And who cares if the keys in his pocket were stabbing into his leg? He didn't. He deserved it. Stupid piece of shit.

Axel groaned and shook his head. He liked to imagine all the depressive thoughts leaking out of his ears like water flowing from a tap. Goodbye you deserve to die and hello I'm really happy. The thoughts never leaked out. In fact, they seemed to get louder. There must be a plumbing problem. Thoughts were getting clogged up in his mind and making them pile up on each other.

Gasping out, Axel sat up and grabbed a handful of his hair. Pulling, Axel tried to dislodge the trapped thoughts so the others could flow out of his mind again.  
Stupid, pathetic waste of space.  
Pulling with both hands.  
You don't deserve Roxas.  
Shaking his head.  
You're not even attractive.  
Axel heard the faint sound of a sob. He didn't know who it belonged to.  
Surgery will help you fix your nose, but that's about it.  
Axel heard himself say shut up. Shut up, shut up, shut up.  
Talentless fool.

"Roxas!"  
Roxas shot up from the couch and ran into the bedroom. Running over to Axel, he put his arms around his boyfriend and bit his lip.  
"I can't do this anymore, Roxas."  
He held Axel tighter.  
"You called me in here and that says a lot."  
"It doesn't."  
"It does! I told you to yell my name if you ever feel like hurting yourself and you did!"  
Axel shook his head. He had been using many methods to help. He wore an elastic band around his wrist at all times and snapped it against his skin when he felt anything negative creep up, he wrote his feelings down and he called for Roxas when his thoughts were getting too loud, but none of them seemed to fix him.

"I can't be fixed."  
Shaking his head, Roxas knelt down in front of Axel and felt the words stall on his tongue. He wanted to say so many things and his mind was having trouble picking which thing to go with. Everything he wanted to say was so important.

"You're not broken."  
"What?"  
"You can't be fixed because you're not broken. You're hurt, and you'll heal. But it'll take time. When someone has a broken leg you don't expect their bone to heal right away, right? It's the same thing."  
"It's not."  
"Your heart is hurt, Axel, and it'll take time to heal, but it will heal. Please trust me on this, okay?"  
"How do you know?"  
"You're still here."  
"What?"  
"You survived one more day and that's a big fucking deal because you never thought you could."  
Roxas cupped Axel's cheek and brushed a tear away. He didn't know if his words were helping, but he felt they needed to be said.

"You're trying, Axel. With calling my name, with the elastic bands, with everything. You're trying and that means you still have hope, and that means you'll be okay."  
Blinking, Axel looked down and nodded slowly. The logical side of his mind knew things would be okay eventually, but the other side, the side that seemed to be ruled by depression, wouldn't believe it. And really, how many times can you hear "Things will get better" before it stops meaning something; when those words become something you just say out of habit? Roxas said those words, but he said a lot more with them.

Standing, Roxas pulled Axel to his feet and helped him undress, only stopping to place a hand gently on the bruises forming on Axel's leg due to the keys. Once Roxas had gotten Axel and himself down to their boxers, he went over to the side of the bed and got in, motioning Axel to do the same.

Crawling into bed, Axel faced away and let Roxas cuddle up to him. Feeling the arm go over his waist and pull him closer, Axel shut his eyes and focused on the heat beat against his back and the breathing against his neck. Neither of them said a word because nothing needed to be said.

Axel felt the dark thoughts go back into his mind and felt the weight on his chest lift slightly. He knew the thoughts would come back again, but he wasn't broken and he knew he wasn't fixed, but he was going to heal.


	18. Cyber Talk

AN: This is rated M.

* * *

Roxas grinned and rushed to his desk, eager to turn his laptop on and go on call with his boyfriend Axel, who was currently miles and miles away for some family event. He had asked Roxas to join him, but his studies wouldn't allow it, so they made a plan to go on Skype every night.

"Ugh, hurry up!"  
Roxas shifted impatiently and watched as the log in screen came onto into view. Typing in his password, he groaned as all the programs started to load. Closing the programs as soon as they popped up, Roxas waited for Skype and smiled as it loaded, playing the familiar sound to signal a new message.

* * *

Axel Lea:  
Hey  
Roxas Noway:  
Hey!  
Axel Lea:  
whats up?  
Roxas Noway:  
just got back from school. what time is it there?  
Axel Lea:  
8:09 lol  
Roxas Noway:  
o. you're 5 hours ahead?  
Axel Lea:  
ye  
Roxas Noway:  
omg, future! did you get there okay?  
Axel Lea:  
yeahh. .  
Roxas Noway:  
good. what are you up to?  
Axel Lea:  
nothing  
Roxas Noway:  
-.- seriously? nothing?  
Axel Lea:  
lol... idk. im not doing a lot.  
Roxas Noway:  
you ok?  
Axel Lea:  
blah. Reno was cuddling his gf on the couch today and it made me miss you a lot.  
Roxas Noway:  
ah, babe. did you find out when youre coming back?  
Axel Lea:  
ugh, not until monday morning.  
Roxas Noway:  
well, that's only 2 days away right?  
Axel Lea:  
yeah, but then it takes like a day to get home and then ill probably pass out as soon as i get into my house...  
Roxas Noway:  
well if you call me as soon as you arrive at the airport ill go to your place and wait?  
Axel Lea:  
really?  
Roxas Noway:  
yeah, and then you can pass out and ill just watch a movie beside you or something  
Axel Lea:  
d'aw, youre sweet lol  
Roxas Noway:  
Accept my call!

* * *

Roxas grinned and waved at Axel, who returned both the smile and wave.  
"Are you naked?"  
Laughing and shaking his head, Axel pointed the camera down to reveal his boxers.  
"Oh. Shame."  
Fixing the camera, Axel raised his eyebrow and tilted his head.  
"Why can't I hear you? Is your mic broke?"  
Roxas watched as Axel looked around his laptop and reached over, giving him a lovely view of Axel's chest.  
"Nipple!"  
"Can you hear me now?"  
"Yes! What happened?"  
"I had myself muted."  
"Smart."  
"Yeah, I thought so."

Roxas watched as Axel disappeared from view and pouted.  
"Noo, where'd you go?"  
"Hold on a second."  
"What are you doing?"  
Roxas squeaked as darkness came into view.  
"No! You're hiding!"  
Uncovering the camera, Axel rolled his eyes.  
"So, what was that about it being a shame I'm not naked?"  
"Are you naked now?"  
"Yeah."  
"Prove it."

Smirking, Axel tilted his camera down and laughed at Roxas face.  
"That isn't fair! Come on!"  
Roxas pouted and did his best puppy eyes, hoping Axel would remove the boxers that sat on top of his most private area.  
"Only if you get naked too."  
Roxas glanced at the door and bit his lip. Nodding and standing, he removed his t-shirt and jeans, but paused at his boxers. Sitting back down, Roxas removed his boxers and placed them on top of his private parts.

"After you do it, I'll do it."  
Pointing his camera back up, Axel nodded and removed the boxers, holding them up to the camera and tossing them to his right, showing Roxas that he was now completely exposed.  
"Good."  
Roxas held his own boxers up and tossed them to the side. Biting his lip and reaching for the camera, he tilted it down and let the view fall onto his penis.

Reaching up and pointing his camera down to his penis, Axel blushed and wondered what Roxas face looked like.  
"You're already getting hard?"  
"I watched you get undress."  
"Axel?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Touch yourself."

Smiling and sliding his hand to his penis, Axel began massaging himself and hummed in delight.  
"Ah, Rox ..."  
Roxas felt his penis twitch at the sight of Axel touching himself.  
"Axel, are you on your bed?"  
"Yeah."  
"Move back so I can see all of you."  
Pausing and moving back, Axel fixed the camera so Roxas could see everything but his face.  
"Are you being shy?"  
"Yeah..."  
Smiling and moving his chair back, Roxas let Axel see his body too, but kept his face hidden. Placing his hand onto his penis, Roxas began to stroke himself.

"Axel, suck on your fingers."  
Bringing his fingers up to his mouth, Axel popped two fingers in and began to suck on them, coating them with saliva for what Axel hoped to be the next order.  
"Are they wet?"  
"Mhm."  
"Good ... I want you to finger yourself and pretend it's my dick."  
Axel felt his body burning with the sudden dominance Roxas was showing. Removing his fingers and trailing the down his body, Axel stopped at his hole and traced his finger around it.

Pressing his finger inside, Axel moaned and arched his back.  
"Fuck."  
"You picturing it's me?"  
"Yeah."  
"How do I feel?"  
"Good."  
"Just good?"  
Axel moaned and added a second finger.  
"Great."  
"Fuck babe, I miss your ass so much."  
Roxas stared at the screen and watched Axel's fingers move in and out.

"You feel so good inside me, Roxas."  
Moaning and stroking himself faster, Roxas watched as Axel leaned back and spread his legs, making his face visable.  
"You look so fucking beautiful like this."  
Biting his lip, Axel looked directly into the camera and slid his other hand to his penis, stroking himself in time with his thrusts.  
"Fuck Roxas, I wish I was there right now."  
Axel's eyes locked onto the screen as Roxas continued to stroke himself.  
"What would you do if you were here?"  
"Anything you wanted."  
"Oh yeah?"  
"Yeah."  
"Talk me through it."

Roxas shut his eyes and focused on Axel's voice, ready to imagine whatever Axel said.  
"First I'd get down on my knees and take your beautiful dick into my mouth."  
"Mmm, know what I'd do?"  
"What?"  
"I'd pull you off your knees and bend you over your kitchen table."  
Shutting his own eyes, Axel imagined the scene in his mind.  
"Fuck. I'd be begging you to put your hard dick inside me. Would you, Roxas? Would you fuck me?"

Gasping and feeling his orgasm approaching, Roxas stroked himself faster and imagined Axel riding his dick.  
"Fuck yes I would."  
Axel moaned Roxas' name and sped his fingers up, picturing Roxas thrusting into him.  
"I'm close."  
"Me too."  
Opening his eyes, Axel watched as Roxas' movements got sloppy.  
"Look at me."  
Roxas opened his eyes and moaned, loving how Axel looked.

Axel gasped at the look in Roxas' eyes and felt his body tense up.  
"Cum for me, babe."  
Moaning Roxas' name, Axel arched his back and shuddered as he felt his orgasm take over. Panting and looking to the camera, Axel dipped his fingers into his cum and brought it to his mouth, darting his tongue out and tasting himself.

"Mm."  
"Oh fuck."  
Roxas watched as the last bit of cum was licked from Axel's fingers. Shutting his eyes, Roxas focused on his hand and the sounds Axel was still making. Hearing Axel moan his name again, Roxas moaned and felt his cum land on his stomach. Panting and opening his eyes, Roxas gave a lazy smile to the camera and reached over for the tissue he kept beside his bed.

Axel hummed and got up, only to return a minute later clean. Moving his laptop and getting on the bed, Axel moved onto his stomach and smiled, covering himself up.  
"Roxas?"  
"Mhm?"  
"You should go to bed, you're falling asleep in your chair."  
Nodding, Roxas stood up and moved his laptop to the corner of the desk, thankful that his bed and desk were so close. Laying down and looking at the screen, Roxas sighed and glanced at his watch.  
"Will you wake me up at six? Eleven your time?"  
"Mhm."

Leaning over and setting his alarm for eleven, Axel shut his eyes and began drifting off to sleep.  
"I meant it, Axel. When you get home and you've rested, I'm bending you over your kitchen table."  
"Fine by me."  
Shutting his eyes and smiling, Roxas pictured Axel's body squirming with pleasure and felt his penis twitch in response.  
"Love you."  
"Love you too."  
Roxas fell asleep with a smile on his face, excited for the call they'd have tomorrow. Axel fell asleep with a smile on his face also, but it was caused by the small sounds Roxas made while he slept.


	19. I do (part one)

"Dammit, can you help me with my tie?"  
Roxas laughed and walked across the room to Axel.  
"It amazes me how you still can't put a tie on."  
"I don't wear a tie in my daily life."  
"Neither do I and I still know how to do it."  
"Sh."  
Snickering and fixing Axel's tie, Roxas leaned up and kissed his lips fast.  
"I can't believe Saix is getting married."  
"I know ... it seems unreal."  
"I bet he's really happy you agreed to be his best man, babe."  
Axel shrugged and smiled down at Roxas. Today he was going to watch his best friend get married to another one of his best friends.

"Ready to go?"  
"Yeah."  
Walking outside, Axel looked around and took a deep breath, enjoying the breeze and fresh air. Watching as Roxas dropped his keys back into his pocket, Axel grinned and took his hand.  
"You look great today."  
"You do too."  
Getting to their car and getting in, Axel checked his phone as Roxas started the car up.  
"Saix hasn't messaged me or called me ... good sign."  
Axel looked out the window at the passing cars and houses and wondered what everyone else was doing and where they were heading.

* * *

Axel and Roxas had arrived a few hours early so they could help set things up and make sure nothing went wrong. They had split up soon after arriving though since Saix needed Axel and Roxas was busy helping other guests and making sure Xemnas was okay.

"I'm really nervous, Axel. What if he doesn't show?"  
"He's already here."  
"What if he leaves?"  
"He won't."  
"What if I back out?"  
"You won't."  
"Does he love me?"  
"He does."  
"You sure?"  
"Positive."  
Axel smiled and put his arm around his best friend. Kissing the top of his head, Axel sighed and gave his friend a squeeze.  
"Soon you'll be a married man."  
"I thought you'd be the first one to get married."  
"I knew you would be the first of us."  
"How?"  
"I knew you and Xemnas would get married the minute you introduced yourself to him back when we were fourteen."

Axel stood up and brought Saix with him. Walking towards the mirror, Axel and Saix looked at their reflections and smiled.  
"Nine years later and it's happening."  
"Yeah ... it really is. Hey Axel? I'm glad you're my best man."  
"I'm glad you picked me to be your best man."  
"I'm ready."  
Turning to Saix, Axel grinned and swallowed the lump that had formed. Wrapping his arms around him in a hug, he kissed his best friend's cheek and moved away.  
"Let's go then."

* * *

Standing in his spot beside Saix, Axel looked on as Saix and Xemnas exchanged their vows. Feeling the lump in his throat grow, he willed it back down and settled for grinning; he was genuinely happy for his best friend.

Watching as Saix and Xemnas finally kissed, Axel felt tears sting his eyes, and hearing everyone else cheer and clap made the lump in his throat grow bigger.  
"You okay, Ax?"  
"Weddings are so ..."  
"Romantic? Sweet?"  
Axel muttered something and wiped his eyes.  
"Something like that, yeah."  
Roxas smiled and took Axel's hand, both of them walking out the doors and watching as the newly married couple drove off.

* * *

"You're awfully quiet. What's up?"  
"Thinking."  
"Uh-oh. About what?"  
"Not important."  
Glancing over at Roxas and smiling, Axel reached over and squeezed his knee, trying to reassure Roxas everything was fine.

"Alright, but if you change your mind I'm here."  
"We're in a car for another thirty minutes, where else would you be?"  
Roxas laughed and nudged Axel.  
"Do you think the reception will be nice?"  
"I think it'll be beautiful."  
Roxas shifted and decided to ask Axel a question that had been burning in his mouth since the ceremony ended.  
"Are you going to dance with me?"  
"Of course."  
Reaching over and taking Axel's hand, Roxas smiled and held on.

Looking over, Axel took in the sight of his boyfriend in a suit and tie.  
"You look really, really good in a suit, Roxas."  
"Yeah? I'm glad you think so ... I have a feeling I'll be wearing one in the near future."  
Raising his eyebrow but nodding, Axel squeezed Roxas' hand and looked out the window again.  
"Hey, do you ever wonder where everyone else is going?"  
"Sometimes."  
"Yeah ... me too."

* * *

Arriving at the reception, Roxas grabbed Axel's hand and pulled him inside, gasping at how lovely everything looked.  
"I told you it'd be beautiful."  
Seeing Saix and Xemnas, Axel walked over to them with Roxas close behind.  
"Congratulations you two."  
"Yeah, congratulations. The wedding was really beautiful."  
"Thanks guys."

Axel excused himself from the conversation after a few moments and took his seat. Everything was perfect and Axel was incredibly happy, but there was a cloud around him. Perhaps the envy he felt towards Saix wasn't as gone as he had thought, but he was sure it was like that for a lot of people. Going to someone else's wedding while you're either single or in a relationship you want taken to the next level is usually a kick in the teeth. Bittersweet is the word Axel would use, but more sweet than bitter.

Looking up as Roxas joined him, Axel nodded and took the drink offered to him.  
"Thanks."  
"You want to talk about it now?"  
"Nope. Do you remember what they were serving?"  
"Fish, I think ... or chicken. One of those."  
"Oh yeah, chicken."  
"Hungry?"  
"Very."

Axel glanced around at took a look at everyone in the room. Everyone had their own lives, their own feelings and their own world. They'd all feel this wedding differently and experience happiness in a different way. Axel found himself wondering where everyone would go after the wedding and where they'd go tomorrow morning.

Roxas raised his eyebrow and blinked, surprised that Axel hadn't noticed him walk away. They had brought the food out and he had gone to get both him and Axel a plate ... And Axel hadn't even heard the food announcement, which was strange since Axel loved food and you could usually bring him back with the mention of it.

Setting the plate down in front of Axel, Roxas waved his hand in front of his face and called out his name.  
"Huh?"  
"Food."  
"Oh ... when did they ... whatever. Thank you."  
Picking his fork up, Axel looked down at the food and felt his mouth water. It looked delicious, it smelled delicious, and picking a piece of chicken up with his fork, Axel decided that it indeed tasted delicious too.

"Weddings are the best."  
"How so?"  
"I get to eat delicious food and see my boyfriend in a suit. Perfect."  
"I can think of something even better."  
"Oh yeah? What?"  
"You'll see."  
Looking at Roxas and raising his eyebrow, Axel shrugged and decided he wouldn't pester for an answer ... not while food was sat in front of him anyway.


	20. I do (part two)

Axel laughed as Saix shoved a piece of cake into Xemnas' mouth. The cake piece was just a little bit too big and he had gotten icing all over Xemnas' lips, nose and some even got on his cheek. He knew that after the cake they'd have a toast, and then the dance. Axel was nervous for all of it.

He had prepared his speech, but he left it at home purposely. He wanted his words to come directly from the heart, without thinking and rewording and making it perfect on paper. He wanted Saix and Xemnas to know how he felt at that very moment, so he ditched his speech and hoped he wouldn't say anything stupid. The dance was also a worry. He didn't know how to dance exactly, and he had told Roxas they'd dance. Axel worried he'd step on Roxas' feet and hurt him, he had always been a clumsy sort of person.

After getting his slice of cake, Axel walked back to his table and waited for Roxas.  
"They're so cute together."  
Roxas pulled his chair out and sat beside Axel, a grin still on his face.  
"They are, yeah."  
"This cake looks amazing."  
"It tastes amazing too."  
Making his point by putting a fork-full of cake into his mouth, Axel winked and enjoyed the vanilla and icing flavors on his tongue. Swallowing and shifting in his seat, Axel glanced at Roxas and poked at his cake.  
"Did you still want to dance?"  
"Yeah."  
"You sure?"  
"Yeah ... why? You're not backing out, are you?"  
"No ... well, I mean sort of. I want to dance with you, but what if I step on your feet?"  
Axel looked up and glared at Roxas, not happy with the laughter he was receiving.  
"Don't worry about it Axel."  
Sighing and taking another bite of his cake, Axe shrugged and decided that since he had warned him, Roxas couldn't get angry if he got hurt.

* * *

Axel stood and clicked his glass, making sure everyone heard. After everyone was looking at him, Axel cleared his throat and shifted.

"Saix requested I make a speech, or say something nice about the couple ... easy enough, right?" Axel shrugged, "To be honest I don't exactly know what to say. Two of my best friends got married today and I couldn't be happier for them. I've told Saix this before, but I knew right away they'd spend their lives together ... they had that special thing so many people look for, and they're lucky to have found it and held on to it. I know a lot of people here will look to you two and hope they can find someone they love as much as you two love each other," Raising his glass and winking at a crying Saix, Axel smiled, "So heres to the happy couple, I hope you guys stay together for the rest of your lives and beyond and are as happy in twenty years as you are now."

Axel watched as everyone clapped and drank. Sitting down and feeling some of the worry be lifted off, Axel turned to Roxas and smiled.  
"Did I do okay?"  
"You made Xemnas tear up."  
Axel felt his eyes widen as he looked at Xemnas, who had in fact teared up and was wiping his eyes with the napkin. Everyone went quiet again as Saix and Xemnas rose to give their speech.

* * *

Axel watched on as Saix and Xemnas shared the first dance. He didn't bother hiding the fact that he was tearing up anymore. He had been hugged long and hard by both Saix and Xemnas and they had made each other cry, so after he returned to his table with tear streaked cheeks, he decided that watery eyes was okay.

Roxas stood and pulled Axel to his feet after everyone had joined on the dance floor.  
"Come on, Axel, this song is perfect!"  
Groaning and following Roxas to the dance floor, he placed his hands on Roxas' waist and laughed as Roxas tried to wrap his arms around his neck.  
"You're so bloody tall."  
Settling for placing his hands on Axel's upper arms, Roxas grinned and began slowly moving with Axel.  
"You're not going to step on my feet, stop looking at the floor."  
Sighing and giving up, Axel looked into Roxas' eyes and smiled.

Roxas was thankful that three slow songs came on in a row, but was also glad when a fast song came on so he could dance around Axel, who stood awkwardly on the dance floor unsure of where to go or what to do.

"Let the music move you!"  
Axel laughed and swatted Roxa' hands away from him. Slow dancing he would do, whatever dance Roxas was doing was out of the question. He didn't even know if he could move like that.  
"I'm getting a drink, you enjoy yourself."  
Axel grinned and made his way off of the dance floor and to the bar. Ordering a water, Axel smiled and watched Roxas move around the floor, dancing with anyone who would have him.

The water in his mouth nearly ended up on the floor as an older lady took Roxas and started to grind against him. Axel gasped with laughter as Roxas mouthed "help me" to him. Putting the cap on his water and setting it on his table, Axel walked over to where Roxas and the older lady was and smiled.  
"Excuse me, but I think it's my turn."  
"Anything you want, cutie!"  
"Ack!"  
Axel stared down at the woman as she started to grind onto him, both in amusement and horror. You could tell she had been drinking. Laughing and pointing her in the direction of Larxene, Axel and Roxas both laughed as they heard Larxene's squeal, but turned away quickly as Larxene made eye contact and shot daggers at them with her eyes.

Axel blinked and looked towards a speaker in shock while Roxas gasped and grinned.  
"Axel! They're playing our song!"  
"Yeah, they are."  
Wrapping his arms around Axel's waist, Roxas grinned up at him and winked.  
"You're not too tall to put your arms around my neck."  
Shaking his head and rolling his eyes, Axel put his arms around Roxas' neck.  
"No, I'm not."  
"I love you."  
"I love you too."  
Axel leaned down and kissed Roxas, grinning at the taste of cake still on Roxas' lips.

"Hey Axel?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Can I ask you something?"  
"Of course. What's up?"  
"Will you marry me?"  
Axel stopped dancing and moved his face away from Roxas.  
"What?"  
"Will you marry me?"  
"Are you serious?"  
"Yeah. ... I have the ring, but it's at home ... I was going to do it as soon as we got back, but our song came on and I couldn't ... I mean it was perfect. ...If you don't want to it's okay, I mean I just thought that sin-"  
"Yes."  
"Oh. Alright. Well, that's oka ... yes?"  
"Yes."  
"Yes what?"  
Axel laughed and leaned closer to Roxas, kissing him again.  
"Yes, Roxas, I'll marry you."

Roxas pulled Axel closer and grinned. He had known Axel was the man he was going to marry the minute Axel introduced himself.


	21. Eggshells and Chocolate

"Oh shit."  
Axel frowned and looked down into the bowl, staring at the eggshells floating in it.  
"What happened?"  
"I didn't crack the egg right ..."  
Roxas snickered and rolled his eyes, "Use a spoon to get it out?"  
Handing Axel a spoon, he watched on as his boyfriend fished the pieces of eggshell out out of mix.  
"They keep moving."  
"Try to go at it from the sides? Like push them to the sides and slide them up."  
"Aha! ... Oh, nope."  
Sighing in defeat, Axel handed the spoon over to Roxas.

Neither of them were fantastic cooks, but they could do it. Although baking was a different story. Axel was good at pre-made pop in the oven cookies and biscuits while Roxas was good at pre-made pie crusts and fillings. Why they had decided to make a cake they didn't know, but they found a recipe online and figured it didn't look so hard.

Walking around the counter, Axel picked up the bag of flour and the measuring cup. You can't really go wrong with pouring flour, and it was safer than getting the butter together. Being careful, Axel poured one cup of flour and waited for the okay from Roxas to pour it into their mixing bowl.

"There, all eggshells are out. Did you put two eggs in?"  
"Yeah."  
"Did the first egg get shell in?"  
"Nah. I don't know what happened with that one."  
Walking back around the counter, Axel poured the flour in and let Roxas stir. He was on stir duty since Axel didn't actually know how to stir without getting it everywhere. They found that out the hard way with their first attempt at mixing the ingredients. Four eggs and 1 ½ cups of milk later and they were getting somewhere.

"Okay, flours done and eggs," Axel looked at Roxas, "... what now?"  
"Did you pre-heat the oven?"  
"Yeah, why? Do we put it in like this?"  
Shaking his head, Roxas walked over to the laptop and read the instructions.  
"We still need to mix in the cocoa powder, baking powder, sugar ... oh shit."  
"What?"  
"Mix flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, sugar and vanilla essence in a bowl."  
"Yeah, so?"  
"We mixed egg."  
Groaning, Axel looked at the contents of the bowl and twitched. Resting his head on the counter, he started to think about walking to the store and picking up a chocolate cake. He could even get their names and "Good effort!" on it in fancy writing.

"Just be glad we bought already made frosting, babe."  
Lifting his head up and muttering, Axel nodded.  
"That's just a lot of things wasted."  
"Well, cover that stuff and put it in the fridge and we'll find somewhere else to use it."  
"Good idea."  
Putting wrapping over the top of the bowl and setting it in the fridge, Axel picked up the eggs they had put away when they had assumed they wouldn't need them anymore.

Setting them onto the table and getting another bowl, he glanced at Roxas and nodded.  
"Okay. Ready."  
Standing up and walking to Axel, Roxas picked up the flour and turned to his boyfriend.  
"Oh!"  
"Huh?"  
"You ... nothing."  
Smiling, Roxas poured the flour into the measuring cup and dumped it into the bowl, Axel following with the cocoa powder and baking powder.  
"Do you know the difference between baking soda and baking powder?"  
"No, do you?"  
"No."  
"Maybe one doesn't bake?"  
"Probably."

Pouring the sugar and vanilla into the bowl, Roxas walked over to the laptop and made sure they did everything correctly.  
"We poured the flour ... mhm ... okay, next step. Melt butter and add to bowl, add milk and eggs."  
"So, we could have kept our other bowl?"  
"Appears that way."  
"Dammit. How much butter?"  
"Uhm ... one stick and three tablespoons."  
"That's a lot of butter."  
"Seems like it, but I don't think it is ... not in baking terms."  
Walking over to the fridge and getting the butter out, Axel placed it into their measuring cup and set it in the microwave, setting the timer and waiting.

"It doesn't say any specific instructions? Place butter gently into pot and let simmer or something like that?"  
Snorting and shaking his head, Roxas scanned the recipe to see if it actually said that.  
"Did we use powdered sugar?"  
"Uh ... yeah! I remember because when we were picking up the ingredients you told me specifically to look for powdered sugar and I kept squeezing it when I found it."  
"Oh yeah. Good."

Hearing the beeper, Axel opened the microwave and picked the measuring cup up. Walking over to the table fast, he poured the melted butter into the mixing bowl and put the cup down.  
"Aff! That's really, really hot."  
"Probably because it just came out of the microwave."  
"Yeah, but why do you have to be like that?"  
"Love you."  
"Lies, all horrible lies."  
"Add the milk and eggs, Chef Axel."  
"I think it's best if you add the eggs."  
"Right."  
Axel poured the milk and stared down at the measuring cup.

"It's not going to burn you, it's cooled off by now."  
"If I get hurt you're kissing it better."  
Picking up the measuring cup, Axel sighed in relief as the cool glass touched his hand. Pouring the milk into the bowl, he waited for Roxas to crack the eggs.  
"How do you do it so ... professionally?"  
"Okay, don't laugh, but when I was younger I'd make French toast only to practise my egg cracking skill because I was tired of messing up."  
Blinking and biting his lip, Axel nodded and tried his best not to laugh.  
"Shut up, at least I can crack an egg without dropping the shell into the bowl."  
Axel grinned and winked at Roxas, glad that at least one of them knew how to crack eggs.

"What's next?"  
"Mixing."  
"Again your job."  
"Yeah ... hey, do you want to get creative?"  
"Is ... that smart?"  
"We'll just add chocolate chips to the mix."  
Raising an eyebrow, Axel decided you can't actually go wrong with chocolate chips, and since the recipe didn't say: "DO NOT ADD ANYTHING ELSE," he decided that sure, why not? A chocolate overdose was a good thing, right? Reaching into the cupboards and bringing out the chocolate chips, Axel opened the pack and poured some into the bowl with Roxas was still mixing.

Axel blinked at his reflection in the spoon.  
"... Why didn't you tell me I had flour on my nose and forehead?"  
"You look cute with it there."  
"How did that even happen?"  
"When you put your head down on the counter."  
"Do I have any more?"  
"Yeah, you have flour spots on your neck."  
Putting his finger on a patch of flour on the table, Axel dabbed it onto Roxas' nose and smirked.  
"Do I look adorable?"  
"You do."  
"Good. Get me the cake tin."

Doing as he was told, Axel watched as the contents of the bowl were poured into the cake tin. Setting the pick in the middle, they each took one end of the tin and opened the over door, placing the cake in the middle.  
"What time is it?"  
"Uh, 10:34."  
"So we'll say 10:30 ... should be done by 11, or 11:15."  
Axel nodded and looked around the kitchen. He had seen kindergarten classes that weren't as messy.  
"You want to clean up now or ...?"  
Roxas shrugged and picked up the mixing bowl and measuring cup.  
"I'll do the dishes, you do the rest."

* * *

Axel finished wiping the counter as Roxas placed the last dish into the dish-rack. Glancing at the clock, Axel nodded to the oven.  
"It's 11:03. Want to check it?"  
Nodding and grabbing an oven mitt, Roxas opened the oven door and pulled the pick out.  
"It's dry ... that means it's done."  
"Yeah?"  
"Yeah ... I hope."  
"Reassuring."  
Taking the cake out of the oven and placing it on the counter, Roxas closed the oven door and turned to their masterpiece.  
"It looks good."  
"Yeah, but looks as deceiving."  
Axel bit his lip and nodded.  
"Wait, we have to wait for it to cool anyway before we put the frosting on."  
"Stalling."  
"Yeah, but with an actual reason."

Roxas shrugged and took Axel's hand, grinning at the flour all over his boyfriend's face.  
"What?"  
"You're still covered in flour."  
"Ugh! I tried getting it off."  
Wiping at his face with the back of his hands, Axel frowned as Roxas' laughter grew.  
"What is so funny!?"  
Axel looked at Roxas unamused as he tried to explain to Axel why he was laughing, but all Axel couldn't make many words out, he only managed to catch "hands" and "face."  
"What? My hands?"  
Looking down, Axel sighed and rolled his eyes at the flour still on the back of his hands.  
"How is that even possible? I wiped the counter!"  
"Yeah, but that only got the flour off of your palms and stuff."

Axel pouted and looked at Roxas, hoping he would help him remove some of the flour.  
"What? I think you look sweet with flour on your face. Like a cake."  
"I probably taste better than the one we made ..."  
Giving their cake a glance, Axel bit his lip and resisted the urge to poke it. There was nothing special about the cake, it was a simple rectangle chocolate cake, but Axel felt that it would move any second.

Dragging Axel into the living room, Roxas sat on the couch and pulled his boyfriend down with him.  
"Cartoons until it's cooled."  
"Fine, fine ... But I still have flour on my face."  
"Leave it until we taste the cake?"  
Shrugging, Axel put his arm around Roxas' shoulder, making sure to get some flour on his ear.

* * *

Axel and Roxas walked into the kitchen thirty minutes later and stood in front of their cake. Turning the tin over, Roxas watched as it slid from its container and landed perfectly on the counter. Turning it over, Roxas shrugged and looked at Axel.

"It's as soft as a cake. Hand me the frosting?"  
Reaching over and grabbing the container of frosting, Axel handed it to Roxas and stared at the cake.  
"It looks really good and it smells good too. That's a good sign, right?"  
"Probably not ... I think even if you mess up a cake it'll still smell good."  
Grabbing two butter knives from the silverware tray, Roxas handed one to Axel and placed the frosting beside them.  
"I bought chocolate frosting, but I also have these little tube things ... vanilla. I thought we could put our names?"  
"Sounds good to me."  
Getting some of the frosting onto his knife, Axel began spreading it onto the cake and felt his stomach and taste-buds crave for their creation.

It didn't take them long to frost the cake, or to get out the vanilla tubes. Holding their tube, Axel and Roxas stared at the cake.  
"Are you trying to decide if you want to mess this beautiful thing up?"  
Axel nodded and looked at the tube.  
"Whatever, it's going to be in our stomachs anyway ... or in the trash. Whatever. You do my name, I do yours?"  
Roxas nodded, "Deal."  
Axel let Roxas go first and smiled at the lettering on the cake. After Roxas was finished, Axel took his time and made sure his lettering was just as nice.

"I think it looks great."  
"I have an idea."  
Roxas moved and made sure Axel couldn't see the cake.  
"What are you doing?"  
"Just a second."  
Moving back, Roxas smiled and nodded to the cake.  
"It's half a heart, and you do the other half and then I'll explain."  
"There's more?"  
Axel smiled and made his half of the heart, connecting it.  
"Okay now, tasting time."  
Grabbing the frosting knife, Roxas cut a square piece at the end, exactly where the heart was. Splitting the heart into two again, Roxas handed Axel the piece he had drawn and he took the piece Axel had drawn.

"Don't even say it."  
Roxas opened his mouth and shut it quickly, smiling up at Axel.  
"I don't know what you mean?"  
"You know what I mean, Roxas."  
Axel smiled and picked two forks up. Handing one to Roxas, he nodded towards his cake and took a piece onto his fork.  
"Ready?"  
Roxas nodded and held the cake inches from his mouth.  
"Ready."  
Shutting their eyes, Axel and Roxas took a bite of their cake and waited for the gagging to start.

"... This is actually really good."  
Looking down at his cake, Axel nodded and raised his eyebrows, wondering if someone had snuck in and replaced their cake with a pre-made one.  
"It is, yeah. Hey, we made a cake!"  
Laughing and sticking his chest out, Roxas took another bite and hummed happily.

Leaning down, Axel tilted his boyfriends face up to his and gave him a kiss.  
"You taste like cake."  
Nodding and taking some frosting onto his finger, Roxas placed it onto Axel's nose and smiled.  
"You sort of look like a cake."  
Giving him a quick kiss and rushing out the kitchen, Roxas heard Axel's mutter of disapproval, but caught the smile that canceled it all out.


	22. Green paint

Roxas stared at the gun across the room and gasped.  
"Sora ... come on, let me go this time."  
"I can't do that, Rox."  
"But we're brothers!"  
Shaking his head, Sora raised his gun and shrugged.  
"Sorry, bro."  
Looking away, Roxas pouted and waited for the impact.

"Aw man!"  
Blinking and looking back to Sora, Roxas grinned as he noticed the green paint splattered onto the front of Sora's vest. Laughing and rushing behind a wall, Roxas looked around for his saviour and was delighted to see his boyfriend just a few feet beside him.  
"Did you shoot Sora?"  
"Yeah. Told you I'd have your back. Who's left?"  
"Xemnas, I think."

Shrugging and peeking out from behind the wall, Axel watched as Xemnas dodged the paint balls and took cover behind a wall opposite of where he and Roxas were hiding.  
"Ah ... he's good. I think I'm going to let you, Saix and Larxene take this one."  
Rushing into the "Safe house," Axel peeked out from the gaps created between the ceiling and walls and smiled when he noticed Roxas chasing after him.

Entering the safe house, Roxas shut the door behind him and smiled up at Axel.  
"Yeah, I think I'll let Larxene and Saix deal with Xemnas. Plus I think he and Saix have a bet going on and I don't want to be a part of that."  
Nodding and sitting down on the small built-on bench, Axel took off his helmet and ran a hand through his hair. He had forgotten how much fun paintball was, and he was glad Roxas had talked him into coming.

Roxas followed Axel's actions and took his own helmet off. Tossing the hair out of his eyes, he sat beside Axel and gave him a smug look.  
"Having fun?"  
Axel nodded and smiled at Roxas. He needed this. The past month Axel had been doing nothing but studying, working and sleeping with the random microwaved meal for nutrition. On Friday, after his finals and his shift at work, he had come home and collapsed on the couch. He slept from seven in the evening until nine the next morning and he only woke up because Roxas checked to see if he was okay.

That's when Roxas decided to ask Axel to go paintballing with him and their group of friends. He had protested for a few minutes, but in the end he agreed. Roxas had mentioned it would do him good to relieve some stress and have fun all at once. Axel could think of another thing he could do that would relieve stress and be fun, but he figured that would come when he got home.

...Or it could come now. Smirking and leaning against Roxas, Axel bit his lip and glanced around.  
"No one is here."  
"Huh?"  
Roxas turned away from the small peep hole in the wall and blinked, surprised at how close Axel was to him.  
"I ... suppose not ... Axel? What are you do-"  
Roxas' eyes widened as Axel's lips took his own. Rolling his eyes and smirking, Roxas wrapped his arms around his boyfriends neck and moved himself onto Axel's lap.

Grinning and wrapping his arms around Roxas' waist, Axel winked and nipped at his lower lip.  
"Hey guys! We won!"  
Jumping off of Axel and looking at their two teammates, Roxas nodded and acted like nothing had happened.  
"Awesome!"  
Leaning his head against the wall, Axel slowly began banging it and shut his eyes.  
"What's up with him?"  
"Stress."  
"Right. One more round?"  
"I ... think me and Axel are going to go home."  
Nodding and standing up, Axel grinned and stood beside Roxas.

"Aw! But gu-"  
Saix stopped and looked down at his vest, now covered in green paint.  
"See you later then!"  
Walking out of the safe house, Axel and Roxas could hear their teammates giggling and discussing what they thought was going to happen.

Larxene guessed slow shower sex.  
Saix guessed rough fucked-into-mattress bedroom sex.

Both of them were right.


	23. Shatter (Part 1)

AN: A lot of swearing in this and it's sad so read at your own risk.

* * *

"You're such a fucking dick!"  
Roxas stormed into the house he and Axel shared and slammed the door in his boyfriend's face. Axel opened the front door and growled as a head of blond hair disappeared into the living room.  
"What the hell did I even do?!"  
"Oh don't play dumb with me! You know what you did!"

Axel stood in the living room doorway and stared at the pissed off blond sat on the couch. Roxas had been fine up until they arrived at Larxene's house. Thinking back, Axel tried to pinpoint exactly where he had gone wrong or when Roxas started acting funny.  
"This isn't about me calling Zexion "sweetheart", is it?"  
"I noticed the way you were looking at him."  
"You have got to be fucking kidding me."

Roxas turned and glared at Axel.  
"Kidding you? No, asshole, I'm not. You were all over him! You called him sweetheart and laughed at his jokes!"  
Pinching the bridge of his nose, Axel shook his head and turned, walking towards their bedroom.  
"Yeah, that's what I thought."  
Stopping and turning back around, Axel looked at Roxas and shook his head.  
"I'm so tired of you starting fights over this shit. I've told you countless times that I don't want anyone but you and yet you still throw a fit whenever I'm fucking nice to someone! News flash, babe, your jokes aren't the only funny ones out there! I'm allowed to laugh at whatever the fuck I want."

Axel knew his reaction to this was the wrong one. Roxas was a jealous person, Axel knew that at the very beginning, but it had escalated to a ridiculous point and Axel was tired of being accused of cheating and wanting to cheat. He was tired of reassuring Roxas that he was the only one for him when not even 24 hours later he'd be a dick and a cheating bastard. Axel was tired of being the bad guy.

"You were leaning against him."  
Axel shook his head and stared in disbelief at Roxas. What he said was true, Axel was leaning against Zexion ... But he was also leaning against Roxas since they were sat on a love seat, and Axel was squished in the middle.  
"You seriously don't trust me at all, do you? Five years and you're still like this."  
"It's not that I don't trust you, Axel, it's-"  
"It's what? You didn't mention a thing Zexion did because he didn't do anything! It's all the stuff I did that made you think that I had an interest in him!"  
Axel took a shaky breath in and bit his tongue.

Looking at the ground, Axel decided that enough was enough.  
"I need a break."  
"From what?"  
"Us."  
"Right, sure, run away. Like always."  
"What the fuck does that mean?"  
"Oh, I don't know? You always leave when we're fighting and you're still out of college. You run when things get too hard."  
Roxas regretted the words as soon as they left his lips. Axel's face changed from angry to offened to hurt in less than five seconds.  
"I'm not sure you're aware of this, Roxas, but I leave when we're fighting so it won't escalate. See what the fuck is happening right now. ...And I left college because I woke up every day with a panic attack and the doctors told me that if I don't take a break I'd be at risk."

Roxas winced and shook his head. Things had indeed escalated, so what was the point of holding back?  
"Excuses, excuses. What's your excuse for not goi-"  
"Don't. Don't you dare finish that fucking sentence, Roxas."  
"Why. Aren't. You. In. College. Now."  
Roxas felt his heart sink as he said the last word. He knew why Axel wasn't in college and he knew that the question would hurt him more than anything else in the world. Roxas was playing dirty, and he felt dirty too.

Axel shook his head, unable to answer Roxas' question.  
"Huh? Another excuse, right babe?"  
"What the fuck is wrong with you?"  
Roxas looked into Axel's eyes and forced a smile onto his face. He needed to break Axel. Their relationship wasn't healthy anymore. It needed to be done. For good. Pouting and laughing, Roxas shook his head and rolled his eyes.  
"You can't finish college and get a good job because of what? Your panic attacks? Doctor's orders?"

Axel blinked and felt the tears fall from his eyes. He didn't know what Roxas was doing or why he was doing it, but he felt small and pathetic, even though he knew he shouldn't.  
"You ... because ..."  
Axel swallowed and tried to get himself under control. He didn't understand how Roxas could stand there smiling and rolling his eyes when he knew the answer ... he knew the fucking answer and he was still shoving it in his face.

"I can't hear you."  
"Scared."  
"Scared? Because of what, Axel?"  
Axel shut his eyes and pushed away the images of the men who had jumped him the first day he returned to class, his right arm tingling where they had broken it.  
"You know what, Roxas. Just stop it."  
"That happened along time ago, Axel, you should ... get over it."  
This was all Roxas had. He didn't know what he would do if this didn't break them up.

Axel caught the pause before Roxas told him to "get over" what had happened to him and realized his plan. Shaking his head and wiping the tears away, Axel leaned against the wall and took a shaky breath.  
"If you wanted to break up you should have said so. There was no reason for you fucking do this to me."  
Pushing himself off of the wall, Axel walked down the hallway and grabbed his coat. Leaving his keys in the bowl, Axel walked out the door.

Rushing to the door and placing his hand on the knob, Roxas stopped and shook his head. This was for the best. Turning and heading back into the living room, Roxas stopped midway when he heard a loud thud and the sound of tires screeching. Feeling his heart beat speed up and his blood run cold, Roxas looked up to the ceiling.  
"Please don't let that be Axel."

Rushing back down the hallway and to the door, Roxas threw the door opened and ran out onto the sidewalk. Looking up the street, Roxas could see three cars all stopped in the middle the road and a crowd gathering around something. Looking at the red car, Roxas noticed the window shield had been smashed.

He couldn't feel his legs, but he was walking towards the accident. Scanning the heads in the crowd, Roxas felt his body tense up as he noticed the familiar red hair was nowhere to be seen. Looking straight ahead, Roxas squeezed through the crowd and looked down at what had been hit.

"Axel!"  
Axel glanced at the voice, but didn't understand what it was saying. Seeing a blurry figure kneel down in front of him, he blinked and tried to clear the image.  
"Roxas?"  
He heard the sirens, but felt himself being pulled into the darkness. The voice kept repeating bubbled words, but Axel couldn't understand them. Axel felt the darkness pull him further in and he happily accepted it, but before he was fully consumed the bubbled words broke and he heard the voice loud and clear.  
"Please don't die! I'm sorry! I love you!"

"Axel!"  
Roxas took his boyfriend's bloody hand into his own and looked up at the ambulance arriving. Biting his lip, he watched as the EMTs worked on Axel, not sure what they were doing, but hoping it was helping.  
"Are you his partner?"  
Looking up at the EMT, Roxas nodded and felt fresh tears pool in his eyes.  
"Are you coming to the hospital with us?"  
"Is he going to ...?"  
Roxas bit his lip and looked at Axel, who was currently being loaded into the ambulnce.

"I can't say for certain because we don't know."  
Feeling his heart slowly break, Roxas nodded and climbed into the back of the ambulance. Taking his boyfriend's hand into his own again, Roxas shut his eyes and prayed to anyone that would listen.  
"Please don't take him away from me."


	24. Shatter (Part 2)

"I'm sorry."

"You keep saying that."

"Because it's true."

Roxas sighed and looked at Axel. He had lost track of how many times he had apologized since Axel's release from the hospital ... and during his time in the hospital. All through the ambulance ride Roxas had been muttering sorries. Even when Axel came to a few minutes before they arrived at the hospital Roxas kept repeating sorry in his head while he let the paramedics ask Axel questions.

He had paced around the waiting room and thought of all the things he would say to Axel if he got the chance, he had sat in the corner and let himself cry and curse himself for being such an idiot, he had done a lot in the hours he waited for the doctor to come out.

Hearing that Axel was lucky he landed how he did and that his injuries were bad, but not as bad as they could have been made Roxas have mixed emotions. Hearing that Axel had a mild concussin and a broken arm on top of all the cuts and bruises worried Roxas, but he knew it could have been a lot worse. Axel's head could have slammed onto the pavement and ...

Roxas had requested to see Axel right away, and when he entered the room Axel was staying in the apologies started to spill out. Axel didn't say anything, he just stared at Roxas and listened. Axel didn't say anything to Roxas until the day he was being released, and even then all he said was "Please take me home."

The doctor have given Roxas instructions on what to do the first day and night Axel was home, and he had followed them perfectly; wake Axel up every two hours and make sure he can answer simple questions. Roxas didn't sleep that night, too worried that he would miss the two hour mark. Really, he hadn't been sleeping much at all. The past four days he had slept a total of six hours. By the second day Axel had said something else to him. "Go to sleep, I'm fine."

In those four days, Roxas had said sorry over and over and Axel ignored him each time. On the sixth day, well, fifth if you weren't counting the very first day Axel arrived home, Roxas had finally asked if he knew why he was saying sorry. Maybe Axel actually did have some type of memory loss and the doctors didn't pick up on it. Axel told him he remembered what happened and that he just didn't know what to say to Roxas' apologies.

"I wish you'd believe me, Ax."

Axel shifted his attention from the rain to Roxas.

"What are you sorry for?"

"Everything. The fight, the things I said ..."

"The fact that I got hit by a car?"

"Well ..."

"This is why I ignored your apologies, Roxas. You're only sorry because I got hurt ... physically. You feel guilty and now you feel like you owe me something."

Roxas was at a loss words and at a loss what to do. He could think of nothing that would convince Axel that he was wrong, and the circumstances backed everything up. It did look like Roxas was only taking care of him and saying sorry because he was guilty of what happened. Except Axel didn't see him rush to the door the minute he left, and he didn't know how much it took out of him to not chase Axel.

Axel didn't know where they stood anymore. He had said Roxas was his boyfriend the entire time he was in the hospital and he knew Roxas was saying the same thing, but were they actually still together? Axel didn't know if what was said between them was an actually "we're breaking up" or not. Only two things were painfully clear. One, Roxas was sorry and two, Axel needed him right now.

It hurt every time Roxas said sorry because Axel didn't know why he was saying it. Was it because he got hit by a car? Was it because he was actually sorry for the things he had said? Being sorry doesn't change facts and the fact was nothing Roxas said was resolved, and when things aren't resolved they resurface.

"I try not to be jealous."

"What?"

"I try not to be jealous because I know you won't cheat on me, but I can't help it. I'm worried that one day you'll call the right person sweetheart and you'll end up with them."

Axel sighed. He hated that he knew the "logic" Roxas was going off of. After all, if you don't believe you're special how are you suppose to believe anyone else thinks that of you?

"I already called the right person sweetheart and I am ... was? with them."

"Meaning me?"

"Yeah."

"I try really hard to believe that. But even if I did believe that, I'm a jealous person. I know I'm way too jealous, to the point where it's not healthy and I am trying to change it but it won't happen over night."

"I know."

Axel opened his mouth but quickly shut it, finally realizing a horrible truth. Feeling the anxiety creep into his chest, he frowned and looked away.

"I have another excuse."

"What?"

"For not going back to college ... and now not going into work."

"Axel ... I didn't mean anything I said and I'm really, really sorry I even went there. You know I don't think you should be over it or that you're making excuses. I only said that to hurt you and that's unforgivable and I don't expect you to forgive me for it, but don't believe any of what I said. It was done out of malice."

"I don't want to stop being your boyfriend, Roxas, but I don't want to fight with you all the time."

Roxas nodded and took Axel's hand in his own. The car accident didn't make him say sorry but it did make him see how much he cared for the redhead, and Roxas got the feeling that it was mutual.

"If I promise to seek some sort of help with my jealousy, can we try again?"

"I'd like that."

Roxas shut his eyes and nodded, glad that Axel agreed. He didn't know where he could find help, but he knew that he needed a way to walk away from fights or spot them before they started. He needed to not only do this for Axel, but for himself as well.

"Will you go to sleep now?"

Biting his lip and looking away, Roxas thought about sleep and what could happen if he slept.

"Please sleep with me?"

Giving up, Roxas nodded and made himself comfortable beside Axel. Making sure Axel's arm was in the proper position, Roxas shut his eyes and took his boyfriends hand again.

"I'm sorry."

"I forgive you."


	25. Break down

AN: Contains sex.

This was also written for my friend TJ :) Thanks for helping me out.

* * *

"Dammit, no!"

Roxas sighed and slammed his hands against the steering wheel. He knew his car was going to give out on him, but he didn't know it would be this soon ... he had even made plans to call his mechanic to get his car looked at in the morning. That's usually how it goes through. Roxas sighed and whipped out his phone. Spotting the low battery message, Roxas quickly pressed one and hit dial, not caring who his first speed dial caller was.

"Hello?"  
"Aw fuck, not you."  
"Excuse me?"  
"I need ... help."  
"Uh, who is this?"  
"Do you not have caller ID? It's Roxas."  
"You're calling me for help and you're being a dick? Why shouldn't I hang up on you?"  
"Wait! Please. Just ... my car broke down and I'm in that scary part of town ... you know, the haunted street?"  
"Those are stor-"  
"ANYWAY. I need help ... I don't know what's wrong with it and my phone is about to di-"

Roxas growled and tossed his phone onto the seat beside him. Banging his head against the steering wheel he groaned and cursed his luck.  
Car broke down? Check.  
Raining? Check.  
Scary street? Check.  
Scary street intensified by it being one in the morning? Check.  
Calling your ex-boyfriend to save your ass? Check.

Roxas bit his lip and glanced out the window. It also happened to be his luck that trees were on either side of him. It was like a horror movie and Roxas was waiting for the killer to jump out of the trees and stab him to death. Why don't horror movie killers ever use a gun? It's always an axe or a knife or something, but rarely a gun. Roxas would prefer to die by a gun. It seemed less painful. Swallowing and looking out the other window, Roxas shifted, reached over and locked the door.

He knew he wasn't that far away from his exes house. They had gone down this street many times, but Roxas was never paying much attention to the turns they made so he had no real way of knowing which way to go and the only way he could find out was on the map that just so happened to be programmed into his dead phone. Hitting the steering wheel and glancing around, Roxas put his head down and shut his eyes. This street was barely used, but he would feel better walking it during the daytime.

Roxas jolted awake at the sound of tapping. Looking at his window with wide eyes, he relaxed and rolled down his window.

"You coming or what?"  
"Christ, Axel! You scared the hell out of me!"  
"Will you just hurry up?"

Removing his keys and shutting the overhead light off, Roxas shuddered at how dark everything turned. Getting out of his car and locking it, he turned towards Axel and followed him back to his truck.

"Didn't think you would show up."  
"I wasn't going to."  
"I didn't mean to call you."

Roxas stumbled as he ran into Axel's back.

"Uh, Axel?"  
"You know you have some nerve! You called me at ONE IN THE MORNING, waking me up, you were rude as soon as I said hello and now that I'm here you're still fucking rude! You can stay here until morning, asshole."  
Roxas yelped and followed closely behind Axel.  
"Hey! Hey, wait, okay? I'm sorry!"  
"Whatever."  
"Really, I am! I just need a lift back to your place and I'll walk home or something, just don't leave me on this damn street!"  
Roxas reached out and grabbed Axel's arm, clinging to it and trying to keep his voice from going up out of fear.  
"No, Roxas. You shouldn't be such a dick to people who you want help from."  
Axel shrugged Roxas off and fished his keys out of his pocket. He was too pissed off and wet for this shit.

Roxas bit his lip and looked around, his eyes going wide at the sight of a person in the woods.  
"Someone is out here!"  
Running up to Axel, Roxas wrapped his arms around the taller man and buried his face into his side.  
"It's a tree."  
Opening his eyes and looking back at the figure, Roxas shifted and slowly let Axel go.  
"It looked like a person."  
"You have a vivid imagination."  
"Please don't leave me out here."  
Axel sighed and looked at Roxas. He really didn't want to give him a ride, but he didn't want to be cruel either.

"Please, Axel, I'll do anything."  
Roxas bit his lip and placed his hand over the front of Axel's pajama bottoms, glad that Axel was more concerned with his safety than putting pants on.

Axel blinked and stopped as the car door unlocked. Glancing down, he felt a small frown pull on his lips. He didn't want Roxas to feel obligated to do anything, but he'd be lying if he said he didn't want it. It had been five months since they were together and in that five months Axel had slept with, well, nobody, so the feeling of Roxas' hand pressed against him was both welcomed and unwelcome.

"Don't."  
"But I owe you."  
Taking Roxas' hand and shoving it away, Axel scowled and shook his head.  
"Get in the truck, Roxas."  
"But I owe you for com-"  
"If you feel like you owe me, give me ten bucks and we'll call it even."  
"Fine."  
Roxas ran to the other side of the truck and got in as fast as he could, afraid that something was going to grab him and take him into the woods.

Axel opened his door and climbed in, already anxious to get home. He hated driving in wet clothing and the feeling of it already cooling against his body made him shudder. Pushing the hair out of his eyes and putting his key into the ignition, Axel turned his key and sighed as they were finally getting somewhere.

"Axel, pull over."  
"What?"  
"Pull over."

Axel rolled his eyes and started to pull over. They still hadn't cleared the "haunted street" as Roxas kept referring to it as, so he wasn't sure why they were stopping. Blinking and looking at his truck as it seemed to shut off by itself, Axel frowned and turned his key again.

"What the fuck?"  
"You're out of gas."  
"Excuse me?"  
Roxas pointed to the gas light and leaned back in his chair smirking.  
"You have got to be kidding me."  
Roxas continued to smirk as Axel hit his head against the steering wheel repeating a string of curse words.  
"You're still adorable when you're pissed off."  
Axel turned his head and looked at Roxas, his eyes narrowing at the smirk the blond was giving him.  
"I was going to fill my truck up in the morning on my way to the grocery store."

Nodding, Roxas reached over and tucked a piece of Axel's hair away from his face, wearing a smile on his lips instead of a smirk.  
"Thank you for driving out here for me."  
Axel shook his head and leaned back in his seat.  
"Don't mention it."  
"What do we do now?"  
"My truck has the camper on ... we can sleep in that until morning. I think I even have clothing back there."

Axel crossed his fingers and watched as Roxas got out of the truck. Locking the passenger side door, Axel got out and gasped as the rain fell onto his damp clothing, soaking them again. Putting the tailgate down, Axel looked in and felt relief wash over him. He had put a small "Incase I get stranded or lock myself out" kit that included a set of clothing, a blanket, a small pillow, a bottle of water and a fruit bar Axel had around the house but didn't want.

Putting his hands to the bottom of his shirt, Axel blinked at a shivering Roxas. One set of clothing. Shit. Shifting from side to side, Axel cursed again and pulled his t-shirt off.

"Get undressed, Rox."  
"Why?"  
"I have an extra shirt and pants in there."  
"What about you?"  
"It's fine."

Roxas bit his lip and lifted his top off, placing it beside Axel's shirt. Removing his shoes, socks, pants and boxers, Roxas balled them up and put them beside his shirt, shivering as the rain and wind made the night colder.

Axel helped Roxas into the back of his truck and swallowed as he watched Roxas get dressed, proud that the blond never hit his head on the roof. Taking off his shoes, socks and pajama bottoms, Axel climbed into the back and pulled the tailgate up, sealing himself and Roxas up and away from the rain and cold.

Feeling the water drip down the back of his neck and follow his spine, Axel shuddered and decided he'd wait a little before going under the blankets. He could stand being wet and cold for a few minutes, but he hated when his blankets got wet too. Bringing his knees to his chest, Axel looked over at Roxas and blinked.

"What?"  
"You're shivering."  
"I'm cold and wet, Roxas, shivering is the correct response to this."  
"Why not get under the blankets?"  
"My skin is still wet ... if I get under the blanket now, the blanket will end up being wet and then it'll be uncomfortable."

Roxas sighed and nodded. He knew Axel's hatred of ... well, whatever this was. Axel didn't like being in a towel for too long because it soaked the water up, he didn't like being in his clothing for too long if he was wet and he hated when his coverings were wet. It made him uncomfortable. He knew of the hatred, but he hoped Axel would up it aside for one night for his health.

"You're going to get sick."  
"I'm fine."  
"Sure you are."

Making his way beside Axel, Roxas put his arm around the redhead's shoulders and smiled, hoping his warmth would help Axel. He grinned as Axel leaned into his side and shut his eyes.

"This is nice."  
"What is?"  
"I don't know. Being here with you. Cuddling while the sound of rain is over us ... It's nice."  
"Maybe for you. I'm uncomfortable."  
"Why?"  
"I'm wet, cold and horny?"  
Roxas laughed until he realized the last one didn't match the other two.  
"You're what?"  
"Wet and cold."  
"And?"  
"Horny."  
"Really?"

Axel frowned and moved away from the warm body that had caused all of this. He hated when Roxas got that tone in his voice. It was meant to be playful and teasing, but all things considered, Axel felt it was more of a mocking tone. My ex-boyfriend will still come pick me up if I need him, haha. I can still turn my ex-boyfriend on, ha fucking ha.

"Shut up, Roxas."  
"Aww, come on babe."  
"Don't call me that."  
"Why?"  
"What the hell do you mean why?"  
"I mean why don't you want me to?"  
"Uh, because we aren't together?"  
"Why?"

Axel sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He had guessed it to be around three in the morning and he was tired. He didn't want to have some deep conversation about where they went wrong and what he did to mess things up or what Roxas did. He wanted to dry off so he could pull the blankets around himself and sleep until the sun came up and then walk to the nearest gas station.

"Axel?"  
"What?"  
"Why?"  
"Dammit Roxas, I don't want to get into this conversation with you right now."  
"Just answer that question and I'll leave it alone. Why aren't we together?"  
"Because we didn't have time for each other and we were fighting when we did get to see each other."

Roxas frowned and nodded. He remembered how hectic their lives got all of a sudden and how everything they did seemed to piss the other off. It had torn their relationship to shreds.

"We can still have sex though ..."  
Axel blinked and looked at Roxas.  
"I already told you you're not obligated to sleep with me because I came out here."  
"I don't feel obligated."  
"Then why?"  
Roxas leaned forward and licked at Axel's neck.  
"You look hot when you're wet."

Axel sighed and turned his face towards Roxas. Tilting the blond's chin towards him, Axel kissed him as gently as he possibly could, still unsure if Roxas meant what he said and what it would feel like kissing an ex he still had feelings for.

Roxas smiled and put his hand on Axel's cheek. Kissing him back as gently as he was receiving, Roxas shut his eyes and focused on the familiar taste of cinnamon. He felt his emotions starting to creep up. The guilt, the regret, the sadness. He felt them all, but he pushed them away. This was just sex. They were going to make each other feel good. This wasn't a fairytale and they weren't going to get back together. This was sex, and sex doesn't equal love. This was just sex.

Axel moaned as Roxas deepened the kiss. Everything was just the same. Roxas' lips were still soft, he still tasted like sea salt ice cream, and he still placed a hand on Axel's waist while they were kissing. Nothing had changed.

Moving back to breathe, Roxas bit his lip and slid his hand down Axel's body, stopping when he got to his penis.  
"You don't have lube, do you?"  
Axel groaned and shook his head. He never carried lube or condoms on him anymore.  
"Damn. Wait ... maybe I have a condom in my wallet."

Axel watched as Roxas moved to his pants and started to search through his pockets for his wallet. Shifting and sliding a finger into his mouth, Axel coated the digit with saliva and moved so his legs were spread.

Roxas grinned as he found the condom he had hidden away. Turning back to Axel, he froze and felt his dick twitch at the sight of the redhead.

"Fuck babe."  
"Rox ..."

Roxas watched as Axel slid another finger into himself. Groaning and taking himself out of his pants, Roxas opened the condom and rolled it onto himself, getting between Axel's legs and smiling, he watched as Axel moved his hand away.

"Look at me. Look me right in the eyes."

Axel looked into Roxas' eyes and gasped as he felt the head of Roxas' dick press into him. Shutting his eyes, Axel turned his face away and groaned as he felt every inch of Roxas slid into him. Placing a hand on Roxas' chest, he shook his head and tried to relax his body.

Roxas knew this position would start to hurt after a while. Being hunched over because he couldn't straighten up never went well and he could already feel the faint ache in his neck, but he was too focused on the body beneath him care about some small ache. Placing his hands on Axel's waist and nodding, Roxas waited for their go ahead sign.

"Okay, move."  
"Look at me."

Swallowing and looking back into Roxas' eyes, Axel moaned and brought his hand to the back of Roxas' neck, pulling him down so they were face to face. It had been too long since they had done this. The feeling of Roxas' dick hitting his spot with nearly every thrust, the look of need, want and love in his eyes, the way their moans mixed together. Axel gasped and wrapped his legs around Roxas' waist, loving the feel of Roxas' holding him. He missed this.

"Roxas ..."  
Nodding, Roxas knew Axel was close.  
"Look at me, babe."

Axel nodded and looked at Roxas again. The feeling of Roxas' sliding in out of him, his hands on his waist and the look in his eyes sent Axel over the edge. Moaning Roxas' name and shutting his eyes, Axel felt his orgasm take over.

Roxas put his forehead against Axel's and moaned, the look Axel had given him along with the feeling of his spasms had brought Roxas to his own orgasm. Moving slightly, Roxas rested his forehead against Axel's shoulder and let himself enjoy everything he was feeling.

"Roxas ...?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Can we move now?"

Nodding and leaning back, Roxas withdrew himself out of Axel and frowned at the loss. Placing his finger against Axel's hole, Roxas sighed and looked at the men below him.

"What?"  
"Nothing."  
"Do you already regret this?"

Axel bit his lip and waited for Roxas' answer. He knew he didn't regret this or feel guilty about it, but it had brought up the feelings he had tried to bury. It would take him another five months to get over this encounter.

"No, do you?"  
"No."

Roxas smiled and moved his hand away from Axel. Taking the condom off and tying it, Roxas looked around and shrugged, settling for tossing it towards his clothing. He would sort that out in the morning, or when he could. Muttering and setting the blanket out, Roxas grinned as he made padding for them to sleep on with enough blanket to cover them up perfectly. Grabbing the pillow, Roxas motioned for Axel to get onto their bed first so that the fold would be against his back to keep him warm.

Axel crawled onto the bed and smiled as Roxas joined him.  
"Axel?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Look at me."  
Blinking and looking into Roxas' eyes, Axel stopped smiling and frowned.  
"What's wrong?"  
"Nothing."  
Roxas shook his head and cuddled closer to Axel.  
"Don't say nothing when it's obvious something is wrong."  
"I see something in your eyes that I don't like."  
"What?"  
"Something."  
"What is it?"

Axel shook his head and continued to stare into Roxas' eyes. The need was gone, but the want and love remained and he hated it. The love in Roxas' eyes reflected the never going to happens and the it's too lates. It reflected their past and the reason they were now exes.

"Is it love?"  
"Yeah."  
"And that upsets you?"  
"Yeah."

Roxas sighed and put his arm around Axel's waist. He wasn't going to feed Axel some sappy lines about how he still loved him and wanted him back. Those lines didn't have to be said. It showed in their eyes. The love, the regret, the longing. It was all there, so why voice it?

"Axel?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Don't stop looking into my eyes. Not until you fall asleep, okay?"  
"Okay."

Roxas smiled and stared into Axel's eyes. He had told himself that they weren't going to get back together, that real life didn't work like a fairytale, and maybe he was right. Taking Axel's hand into his own and smiling as the redhead's eyes slowly closed, Roxas shut his own eyes and took a deep breath. Maybe he was right, but he was probably wrong.


	26. I do (part 3 - last part)

Axel stared at his reflection with his mouth agape. Today was the day. Pinching himself, Axel confirmed that not only was today the day, but it was also actually happening. He was going to be someone's husband in a few minutes.

* * *

Axel had been on cloud nine ever since Roxas asked him the big question: Will you marry me? Neither of them told anyone at the reception that they were now engaged, after all it was Saix and Xemnas' day. Axel couldn't help the grin that formed as they started the drive home. Roxas had reminded him of the ring and surprise that waited for him and Axel couldn't have been more excited. All through the car ride home Axel had a stupid grin on his face and his mind whirled with wonder.

When they finally arrived back home, Axel watched Roxas get out and walk to the front door. Putting his hand on the car door and opening it, Axel exited and stood awkwardly beside the still opened door.

"Axel? You okay?"  
Nodding but not moving, Axel tried to think of where he had felt this before. It didn't take him long to pin why it was familiar. In the car Axel felt like he did when he was going to get a tattoo or piercing. The butterfly I'm-going-to-throw-up feeling, the jelly legs, the "Oh fuck" when the moment was almost over. In the car Axel was going to get a piercing, and when they pulled into the driveway it was like the needle had just gone through. He was no longer anxious, but he was exhausted and relaxed.

Taking a deep breath and walking over to Roxas, Axel stepped inside and walked into the living room. He knew that the surprise wasn't waiting for him out in the open since he had been through most of the rooms before they left, so sitting on the couch and waiting for Roxas to retrieve the surprise or deliver instructions for Axel to search for it seemed like the best plan.

"Here."  
Axel looked up and took the book that was offered to him. It looked like your standard photo album. It was one of the smaller albums and the cover was black, but it had the word "Memories" in silver lettering. Opening the album up, Axel raised his eyebrow and looked at Roxas.  
"What is this?"  
"I went through our old photo albums and took out some of the pictures ... See, the first page is when we first started going out ... I wrote my feelings under it."

Leaning back into the couch and smiling, Axel took his time reading and looking at each picture. Turning the page, Axel gasped as he looked at the silver ring taped onto the page with "Will you marry me?" scribbled under it.

Smiling and turning to face Roxas, Axel kissed him and took the ring off of the page.  
"I take it your answer is still a yes?"  
"Yes." Axel nodded with his answer, his nose rubbing up against his fiancé's nose.

* * *

The months after that were spent planning the wedding which turned out to be harder than they had originally thought. Neither of them were picky when it concerned the little details like flowers and colour patterns and that seemed to make planning a lot harder. Roxas would pick a flower, Axel would say: "Sure, whatever you want." and Roxas would follow with "But do you like them?" Their flower discussion went on for a full week before both of them decided to get married in a garden. That solved their flower problem.

The food was easier to pick out, but that might have been due to their online searching. A donut bar was a definite thing, and so was the make your own taco. Roxas had picked out an appetizer, but Axel had forgotten what it would be ... probably mini hot dogs or something with "mini" in the name.

They hired a photographer to do the ceremony pictures and that was it. They planned to hand out disposable cameras to their guests and have them take their own pictures. If all went as planned, the cameras would be dropped off and they would get them developed later on. Axel had worked out the prices and had spit his orange juice out when he found out how much cheaper their idea would be. Not only was it cheaper, but it was fun.

The music was settled by hiring a DJ and the special songs were picked out with ease. They hadn't picked out a specific dance to do or to have guests do and they figured whatever happened on the dance floor happened and it was out of their control. Axel faintly recalled Roxas mention something about the chicken dance, but he wasn't sure.

All through this process Axel was checking things off of their list and was glad they had done almost everything. They hadn't picked the cake out yet and Axel wasn't sure if that would be easy or difficult. He wasn't picky with sweets and it was more of Roxas' area, but he did have one rule: nothing orange flavored.

Thankfully Roxas felt the same and they ended up with a three story vanilla cake with vanilla icing and chocolate flowers decorating it. Finally able to check off the cake, Axel glanced over the list and smiled nervously at Roxas. Everything was picked out.

Both of them had separate bachelor parties and Saix took Axel and their group to a spa. Axel was glad his party was being held in a spa and not a strip club, and the massage he received was one of those I didn't know I needed it until I got it things. Axel knew Roxas' party was being held at an amusement park and he hoped Roxas would have as much fun as he did.

The day before their wedding, Axel kissed Roxas and left for Saix' house.

* * *

"This is actually happening, right?" Axel looked at Saix' reflection and took a deep breath.  
"Yeah, it is. Nervous?"  
"Yeah ... But the good kind."  
"You ready?"  
Checking himself over in the mirror, Axel fixed his hair and turned to Saix.  
"I look okay?"  
"You look great."  
"I'm ready."  
"Let's go see your future husband then."

* * *

Axel had always found the phrase "Time stood still" silly. He always questioned it and rolled his eyes at the romantic movies and books that used it. Standing across from Roxas and staring into his eyes, Axel fully understood what people meant when they said that. Here Axel had no concept of time. The people smiling in the front row and the birds flying above them were all frozen. Nothing really seemed to register with him besides the man standing in front of him and the officiant. He heard the man speaking and he knew everything that was happening, but it all seemed to be timeless.

Axel watched Roxas' lips move as he spoke the traditional wedding vows, his eyes moving to his fingers as the ring was slipped onto his finger. Blinking and looking into Roxas' eyes, Axel thought about their life; the day they first met, their first date, first fight and the first night they spent living together. Repeating the vows and slipping Roxas' ring on his finger, Axel grinned as he heard the officiant tell them they were now husband and husband.

Kissing Roxas and taking his hand, they ran to the limo they had rented and crawled into the backseat. Glancing down at the ring, Axel's smile widened as he realized he could now add "First kiss as a married couple" to their list of firsts.

"Hey Axel?"  
"Yeah?"  
"You love me?"  
"I do."


	27. Happy birthday

I hate everything about birthdays. The whole concept of celebrating a day you had no control over is silly. Why not celebrate the one who gave birth to you? Or the one raising you? Yeah, birthdays are ridiculous and I've always hated them. But when your birthday comes around, you have to pretend to be excited because woah, you're alive still ... Or something like that.

Today just so happens to be the week-before-birthday mark and I could feel my best friend's gaze on my back. Roxas was one of those people who got really excited about birthdays. When one of his friends had a birthday coming up he'd plan a party and get a gift ... He'd go through a lot to make sure his friend had the best birthday ever. No one minded how excited he got, after all who doesn't want a special day dedicated to them?

Me. I don't. That's who. Being the center of attention normally doesn't bother me, but when I have a group of people singing me that bloody song - horribly, I might add - it just ... I know they're being nice and I should appreciate it, but I'd much rather order a pizza and watch a movie with Roxas than go to one of the clubs and dance and drink until I puke up the cake I undoubtedly ate earlier that day. Its happened before ... Twice.

"You want something, Rox?"  
"Axel, your birthday is soon." I almost cringed at the sing-song tone he had in his voice. Yep, he was going to ask me what I wanted to do, what I wanted and what type of cake I'd like to have.

"Yeah, I know."  
"What do you want?"

Now, is that a trick question? What are you suppose to say? What are the price maximums and minimums? Could I ask for $900 to pay my rent, or would that be way too much? What about my cable bill? That's $100, or is that still too much? Why do people always say: "I don't want anything," but they really do? They're in the same dilemma as me, I bet.

Now nine times out of ten my mind would go blank at that question, but I had been thinking about my answer since the first, and I was prepared ... And tempted to ask for rent money, but I think $900 is too much. Birthdays are for things you want, but not necessarily need, right? So I could ask for anything within reason. Too bad the game I was looking forward to didn't come out for another two months. Okay, maybe "prepared" was an exaggeration. I had thought about shit I wanted, but the next day I no longer cared.

"Axel?"  
Oh yeah. He's still here.  
"Yeah?"  
"What do you want?"  
"Nothing."

Crap. This conversation will be familiar to everyone. It's like a script that has been programmed into our minds from the very beginning. Oh. Wouldn't that be something? Finding out that certain speeches and traditions have been programmed at birthday? Actually I think that's a thing they teach in anthropology, you know, the whole nature vs nurture ... Uh. Right, back to topic.

The conversation is familiar. I said nothing, he'll say: "Come on, there must be something you want!" and I'll say nothing again because I don't want to appear greedy when the facts are that I do want something, but I'm too much of a chicken to say it. But I have hinted through-out the previous month about what I wanted, sort of. This really depends on what you consider a hint. "Hey, I like that shirt" or "I love those jeans" are hints in my book, and that's what I did. We can ignore stupid facts like me already owning the shirt and jeans because I bought them myself because my point still stands. I said "I like" and then the item a few times.

"... Why do you keep zoning off?"  
"I'm thinking about what I want."

Not exactly a lie now, is it? Okay, serous time, what do I want? There are no games that seem interesting, I don't want to pick up another book until I've finished the one I have going. This is hard, maybe I should just ask for money. Wait, isn't that what adults ask for? I'm going to be 21, that's an adult in the eyes of the law.

"Money."  
"Money? Really?"  
"Yep."  
"I can't just give you money, I want you to be able to look at it."

Last year Roxas got me a Fatal Frame t-shirt and I wore it as much as I could, the year before that Roxas got me a baby seal plush and I slept (sleep) with it, so I get where he's coming from. All his gifts have been amazing, and I keep them all very close. Maybe I could take out $5 from the money and hug it or something. Whatever. Shrugging and turning away from my best friend, I decided that money would be perfect, but if he wanted to pick me up something else, he could decide what.

"If you really want to, pick it out yourself. After all you did pick out the shirt and seal, remember?"  
"Do you still sleep with Spirit?"

This is why they invented cell phones. They work perfectly for when you have to pretend to be busy to get out of a conversation or awkward eye contact ... Or when you're in the waiting room and you don't want to look like a loser. Right now I was playing Fruit Ninja and ignoring Roxas' question.

"I'll take that as a yes. So, what do you want to do?"  
"Nothing." Oh here we go again.  
"Come on, you must want to do something!"

Now this is where I could make my birthday how I want or how I think other people would want it. I don't think Roxas would get mad at what I want to do and if he felt like it was too easy we could always make the food pick-up and he could drive to the place and get it instead of delivery. I also know that Roxas isn't a huge fan of horror movies because he scares so easily, so he would also be watching something he didn't want to watch just to please me and that's usually all Roxas tries to do. Hm. Chinese food and movie, club and drinking. Wait, didn't I say pizza before? Damn.

"I want to order ... stuff, and watch Netflix with you."  
"What? Is that all?"  
"Yeah. Horror movies though ... Maybe anime ... namely Soul Eater."  
"... And what do you want to order?"  
"Pizza or Chinese Food, haven't decided that yet."  
"Who do you want there?"  
"Just you."  
"Just me?"  
"Yup."  
"Cake?"

Okay, so remember when I said I hated everything about birthdays? I exaggerated again. Cake is one of the good things that comes out of celebrating a day you have no business celebrating. Especially since the invention of ice cream cake. Dairy King also lets you pick or make your own. I can't tell you how many times I've gone onto that site and made my own cake, just to close the order and crave ice cream for the rest of the day. Worth it though.

"Same as always. You pick it though."  
"This really all you want to do?"  
"Yeah. Larxene usually holds a birthday lunch the day before birthdays anyway so if they have anything to say they can do it then, or after."  
"So we're singing happy birthday a day before?"  
"No. I swear I'll walk out if you guys start singing."

* * *

I didn't walk out. Roxas started and everyone followed and I didn't walk out, but I did sink down in my chair and I'm pretty sure people had a hard time separating my face from my hair. I didn't think it was possible to blush that hard. Larxene ended up singing loud and out of tune on purpose and Marluxia managed to get people who didn't even know me to sing along. I really do love them, but they're assholes. ...I'm lying about that last part. Sort of.

Anyway, I guess Roxas told everyone about my request because they all brought something with them. I got a lot of cards, some with money in them (I have enough to pay my cable bill now, ha!) Marluxia gave me roses like he did every year and included the fake one so it would last forever, I got another book that I've been tempted to read ever since I opened the bag, a shirt that everybody thinks suits me perfectly, but only because it says: "I will not keep calm and you can fuck off," I don't see how it suits me at all. I'm always calm (lying again). Larxene got me a ... questionable adult toy that I may or may not have already used.

The gifts, cards, money and birthday wishes were great and remembering their faces when I opened their gift and the hugs I received after ... I'm still in a very plesant mood. The minute I woke up I smiled, which will be a nice memory. The day I turned 21 I woke up with a smile on my face. It's only nine right now, and I know Roxas won't be around until five, maybe six, so I get to do whatever I want.

I'm in bed. I woke up an hour ago, but I'm relaxing. I did get up to go to the bathroom and open my curtains and window, but I returned to my warm bed and now I'm just looking out the window, listening to the sounds of the birds and the breeze. It was one of those really nice cool days ... "Napping days" is what I call them. I still haven't figured out what I plan to do until five.

Actually, that's not entirely true. What I plan to do is make breakfast, have some herbal tea, watch an episode of SpongeBob, take a shower, get dressed, watch more SpongeBob because Vexen bought me season one, and go out for lunch. So I really only need to plan out another five hours. I think I'll get pizza for lunch and have Chinese food for dinner. Hm ... I could pay my cable bill while I'm out and head to the mall and pick up some other things I need. Yeah, I think that will be my day. Birthdays don't give me an excuse to slack off. Oh, look at me lying again.

* * *

Getting out of bed was harder the second time, but I managed to make my French toast and tea and eat it all during Spongebob. I don't care what anyone says, that show was sold as a children's show but it was meant for adults. After that I ended up showering, and that went better than expected, I even used the gift Larxene got me again. I'm still trying to figure out if it would be creepy to thank her again for it.

I'm hoping Roxas doesn't mind that I'm wearing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I know we agreed to just do food and movies, but I don't want to make it seem like it's just another day and I've forgotten that he's been making this special. Ah, I'll change into a button up and throw on a waist coat when I get back, those things make you fancy no matter what.

I got off the bus a stop ahead of my destination because I had a feeling everyone else on that bus would be getting off there and I didn't want to walk in the bus crowd. This way I could browse the shops leading to the mall. I've always loved looking into the shop windows, window shopping is one of my favourite things to do, and my Amazon wish list is huge. I wish I had noticed this Chakram necklace a week ago. Whatever, it's only four months until Christmas.

Paying bills is a love-hate thing for me. I love it because it makes me feel like an adult. Like look at me, I'm doing awesome grown-up stuff, but I also hate it because I end up having less money for other stuff. Plus the stress that comes from being worried you may not have enough to pay for things that you don't actually need is amazing. The worst thing that would happen if I didn't pay my cable bill is ... well, I couldn't do my school work, but there is a library for that. Wait, why do I even have cable? I have a cell phone so I don't need a home phone, I have Netflix and I have libraries. I paid my cable bill, and I'm probably going to pay next month too.

It's only 11, but that's late enough for lunch. I have a lot of choices though, it seems everyone sells pizza now. I don't eat much on my pizza, it's usually cheese only, but sometimes I like to get crazy and order chicken and pineapple. I'm a rebel, I know. The only place I like those two ingredients on pizza is Pizza Pezsy, so that is where I'm going. They also sell Dr. Pepper.

* * *

It was five minutes after four when I got back home. I put the stamps on the letters that had been sitting on my desk for two weeks and I walked to the corner mailbox and mailed them, after that, I put the milk, ice cream and pop away and put the bathroom supplies in the bathroom and after all of that only 15 minutes had passed. I ended up watching more SpongeBob and petting my cat, Shadow. I'm tempted to take a nap, but I also want to continue watching SpongeBob, and Shadow is still sleeping on my lap and moving would disturb him.

I'm not sure how long I was staring at the main menu, but I was pulled back to reality by the sound of Escape the Fate coming from my pocket. Another birthday text I'm guessing.

"Let me in."

I looked down at Shadow and said I was sorry before moving him onto the pillow beside us. He gave me a look, but he went back to sleep like nothing happened. Yawning, I buzzed Roxas in, opened my front door and waited for the blond to appear. I decided that we'd watch an episode or two of Soul Eater, an anime we were both into and on the same episode, "The Strangers" - a horror movie, and "The Collector" - another horror movie. Those are the only movies and shows I had planned out, I also decided to let Roxas pick a few things out too so we'd both enjoy the night. Oh, and Chinese food.

"Happy birthday, Ax!"  
"Thanks. Need a hand?"  
I smiled as Roxas entered my apartment and set the cake and a box down. A box ... It appears Roxas did get me something else ... Wait, maybe not something "else", perhaps there is no money in the card. In any event, I'm excited. I tried to get a look at the cake, but Roxas managed to pick it up and go into the kitchen before I could get a look at it. I think the letter "A" is marked on it though. Wouldn't be surprising considering my name is Axel.

"So, what first?"  
"Soul Eater?"  
"You didn't watch any last night, right? We're still on the same episode?"  
"Yeah, same episode."

I couldn't help the smile that formed. Roxas and I are close. Really close. We go on Skype every night and watch Soul Eater together, and after we're done we plan on watching another series. We started watching TV series' together a month after we met and found out we shared a love of animated things. Our first series we watched was Invader Zim and that was five years ago. As you can imagine, we've gone through a lot of shows, and we still have some on-going. It was nice sharing an activity like this with someone, and I loved knowing that Roxas enjoyed it as much as I did.

"I'll make popcorn and get drinks while you set up?"  
I nodded and walked into the living room. There wasn't really much to set up. Pushing the "ON" button on my Playstation and loading up Netflix I listened to the popcorn popping and the sound of Dr. Pepper pouring into two glasses. Clicking "Next Episode," I paused fast and turned to the couch.

"Shadow."  
He didn't even move at the sound of his name. Sliding his pillow over and sitting down, I leaned my head against the back of the couch and shut my eyes. The porch door was open and the breeze was coming through. It wasn't as cold as it was this morning, but it wasn't hot either. It was still a "napping day". I stretched my body out and hummed happily. Napping days always bring a special feeling to stretching, like you get more tension out or something.

"Ready?"  
I looked over and nodded at my best friend. Taking a handful of popcorn and pressing the "X", we watched as the beginning of the episode started to play. The popcorn tastes perfect, and the Dr. Pepper looks nice and refreshing ... I have a feeling tonight is going to be really fun.

* * *

"Want me to come with you?"  
"Yes!"

I laughed and shook my head. We had just finished watching "The Strangers" and "The Collector," it was seven and we were both hungry. Roxas said pick-up was best (like I said he would), and I could tell he was scared about going himself. "The Strangers" was a pretty shit movie, but the plot was spooky to think about, and "The Collector" was great all around, so I could sort of see why Roxas was freaked out. He didn't even have to ask me to come with him, I could tell by the lip biting.

Now I'm a good friend, so I didn't yell "boo" at Roxas while we were in the elevator, or walking to his car ... I did touch him and scream when we got to his car, but in my defense I did not say "boo" so it's different. He wasn't too thrilled and I could tell he wanted to swat at me, but I ran to the other side of the car before he could.

"Ow!"  
I looked at Roxas and pouted. I may have moved away in time, but I forgot I was going to spend ten minutes in a car with him. Looking out the window and watching the houses and shops pass by I felt a weird sense of tranquility. It was like the feeling you get when you're very young and ready to sleep, but you're being driven home from shopping so you have to wait. You're in the car with a parent or sibling and you feel perfectly okay. I enjoyed this feeling, and I felt disappointed when we arrived at the Chinese food place.

Getting out of the car and walking inside, I inhaled and felt the hunger that I had ignored come back to life. Glancing at the menu, I ordered my food and took the container. Roxas and I had discussed who was paying, and I put up a small fight to save my pride, but in the end Roxas was the winner (loser?) and got to pay for dinner. I was glad this place did the one to four item trays instead of ordering everything separately and waiting an hour for it to be done. I was hungry and I couldn't wait to get back home to eat.

I could tell Roxas felt the same. He did a weird sort of running, power walk, walk thing to his car with me quickly behind him. Getting in the car and setting the food on my lap, I put my seatbelt on and tried to ignore the smell coming from the bag. If I was a superhero my weakness would be lemon chicken.

"You have an idea of what we're going to watch when we get back?" I asked Roxas, I had to get my mind off of the food. I was thankful we didn't take the plastic forks that were offered to us.

"What about "El Dorado"?"

I nodded and grinned. "El Dorado" managed to be in my top five favourite movies and I could (and have) re-watch it multiple times.

"Coming?"

Looking around, I took in the sight of my apartment building. When did we get here? I heard my stomach growl and knew that it really didn't matter when we arrived. Getting out of the car and walking back to my place, I unlocked the door and went into the living room with our food while Roxas got forks and refilled our cups.

Finding "El Dorado" on Netflix and clicking "x" again, I sat down and set our food up so Roxas' container was by him and mine was by me. I had to resist the urge to start eating with my fingers. Watching Roxas enter the room and sit down made me smile. I felt my smile grow as he handed me my fork.

* * *

I put the containers in the trash and washed the forks while Roxas set up whatever it was he was setting up. I knew it was the cake because he came in the kitchen and got it, but it had been five minutes and he still wouldn't let me come out. I could just peek around the corner, but waiting was more fun. Clicking my tongue and glancing at the clock, I whined and called Roxas' name.

"Yeah, hold on. Almost done."  
"What are you even doing?"  
"You'll see!"

I was starting to feel very excited. I was going to open my present first and get cake and then we were going to watch another movie before we got ready to sleep. Of course sleep wasn't close (It was only 8:40 after all), but we were going to get comfortable and pull out my couch and just watch Soul Eater for the rest of the night. The whole day had been great, and this evening was turning out to be exactly what I wanted. Hell, I might even get Roxas a thank you card that's how awesome it was.

"Alright, come on!"

I gasped as I entered my living room. Balloons (mostly red) were everywhere and some were even floating. Laughing and shaking my head I sat down at my dining table and looked around for the cake. It seems Roxas wasn't going to let me see it until the time came to eat.

Looking at the box that was placed in front of me, I took the card and opened it. I laughed as I read the joke and wiggled my eyebrows at Roxas as I took the scratchcard and $20 out of the envelope.

"Thank you."  
"Open the box!"  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah."

Taking the box in my hand, I raised my eyebrow and took the wrapping paper off. Taking the shirt out of the box, I held it up and laughed as Zim appeared. I laughed even harder at the "You're lying!" under him.

"This is awesome. Thanks, Rox."  
"I remembered how when one of us said something the other didn't like we'd always shout that in his voice ... I got myself one too."

I laughed at the memory and shook my head again. We were (are) ridiculous. I set the t-shirt over the chair and was about to toss the box aside when I noticed a smaller box.

"Is this mine too?"  
"Yeah."

I picked the box up and shook it. Shrugging and opening the box, I blinked at the necklace inside.

"Did you know I was looking at this?"  
"Yeah. I was getting your cake and noticed you from inside the shop ... I was still giving the details so I couldn't say "hi" and you were gone when I came out. I walked over and looked at what you were looking at ... I figured this was it. If it isn't I can go back and get the Hello Kitty set."

Looking at the chakram necklace, I shook my head and looked at Roxas.  
"No, this is it. Wow, thank you."

Putting then necklace on and setting the boxes down, I watched Roxas shut the lights off and go into my bedroom.

"Happy birthday to you ..."  
Oh no.  
"Happy birthday to you ... "  
I'm blushing. I can feel myself blushing.  
"Happy birthday dear Axel ..."  
Huh, what do you know, Roxas isn't that bad a singer.  
"Happy birthday to you."

Laughing and trying to hide the blush, I looked at the cake and smiled at the "Happy Birthday Axel!" that was written on it. Looking into the flame of the candles, I blinked and shook my head. Blowing the candles out and leaning back I looked around and waited for the lights to come back on.

"What did you wish for?"

Looking at Roxas when I could see again, I shrugged and winked.  
"If I tell you it won't come true."

Cutting a slice of cake for Roxas and myself, I hummed at the chocolate fudge and vanilla. I could already tell it was going to taste amazing. Taking the first bite made me hiss. I forgot it was ice cream cake, and biting into ice cream made my teeth hurt.

Bringing our bowls to the couch, Roxas and I set up Invader Zim and started to watch it. I could tell Roxas was lost in the show. Smiling and glancing at the candles I shrugged and looked back at the TV.

It's a funny thing really. I hate birthdays, but they remind you of different things. Every year, starting from the time I was 11 years old, my only birthday wish was to be happy. Today, my 21st birthday, I didn't make a wish because I had everything I wanted, and "Please let me be happy" was no longer a wish, but a reality.


End file.
